Relationship Reality: Are Your Relationships Based In Reality or Fantasy?

Within the next two to three minutes, you will uncover if you have had relationships based in reality or fantasy!

I want you to recall a failed relationship and ask yourself one question, "Why didn't it work?"

Initially, you may answer, "They cheated, lied, changed, etc." But be honest with yourself. Without honesty there cannot be any changes in your life.

The truth may be you created a world in which this person could not live up too! "How is that possible," is what you are thinking, "I would never do such a thing!" Maybe not intentionally but you do it! Heck, we all do it until we realize we are doing it!

Too often you project your image of the person onto them. Thus, creating your fantasy person. We see only the image we created.

This is important to recognize early on because at no point did the person ask you to think so highly of them. You focus on their "potential" and figure eventually he/she will get to that place he/she should be to make you happy.

However, once the individual steps outside of the image you created you begin to think, "They changed!" But in reality they were the same all a long.

In essence, what you have done was create a "virtual reality" or "fantasy world" based on the images present in your mind. That is why many of us get hurt in our relationships. We are not realistic but idealistic.

What's the difference between a Realistic person and an Idealistic person?

Realistic:

  • A realistic person will go into a relationship with their eyes open
  • A realistic person will lay the cards on the table and get down to details of what the relationship is going to be
  • A realistic person will speak their mind and say what they feel even though it may hurt the person in the short term
  • A realistic person is honest with the individual regarding their life and shows they care about the person and not focused on what they can get from the individual
  • A realistic person understands there will be problems and issues but working together they can overcome anything
  • A realistic person tends to be more genuine in their love and support
  • And much, much more
Idealistic:
  • The idealistic person will forgo the communication and move straight into sex
  • The idealistic person will say "I love you" quick
  • The idealistic person will get emotionally attached quick
  • The idealistic person will think, "This is my dream person." Technically, they would be right, as it is a dream they are living and their new mate would be a dream person.
  • The idealistic person will cry because their dream relationship did not work out then repeat the process over again
  • The idealistic person will blame everyone else for causing the problem but never look at themselves
  • The idealistic person lives in a fantasy world where everything works and nothing fails
  • The idealistic person is usually kicked square in the face by reality and still will not wake up
  • And much, much more!
The question you need to ask yourself is, "Am I a realistic person or am I am idealistic person?" The answer to that question will help you to understand why your relationships end and how to say goodbye to relationship mistakes and avoid unhappy relationships.

Now, don't go analyzing people and prejudging them. This, as well as everything else you may read on other web sites, is just a guide. Use your common sense and just pay attention when you are dealing with people.

Shawn Nelson, MSA is a Motivational Speaker, Life Counselor and Author who creates guides, e-Courses and run several web sites that help people achieve their relationship, personal, life and professional goals. To learn more visit How To Meet The Man of Your Dreams and How To Meet The Woman of Your Dreams web site.

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Ive Gotta Hand It to You

What would I do without my wife? Not much. What... Read More

Are all Men Unfaithful?

"Men are all the same. Stop looking for Prince Charming,... Read More

10 Red Flags In Dating Relationships

When starting a new relationship, many women (and men as... Read More

If He Insists That You Work...

Once, when asked about her life, former First Lady Barbara... Read More

Cheating Wives and Cheating Husbands Give Different Reasons for Having Extramarital Affairs

Infidelity studies indicate that the percentage of cheating wives is... Read More

What Do the Words ?I Don?t Love You Anymore? Really Mean?

Have you been blindsided by an unhappy spouse who suddenly... Read More

Relationship Advice - How to Improve Intimacy

A relationship requires intimacy. I don't think anyone would argue... Read More

The Sting

Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 28,... Read More

Revenge ? Serve It Cold!

Whether you caught him in bed with the local bimbo,... Read More

Are Single Black Women Too Independent?

Are single black women too independent? Too sure of themselves,... Read More

Great Relatinship Advice: The Ability to Meet Emotional Needs

Harville Hendrix, in his book ``Getting the Love You Want''... Read More

Are You Living An Illusion Romance Like Lisa Snowdon and George Clooney?

My Dear Lover,Today I am sad, I don't have good... Read More

How to Have an Affair - Beware!

People decide to have an affair for many reasons. They... Read More

What is Romance and How Can You be More Romantic?

Whether you've been in a relationship for a long time,... Read More

Mindfulness and Flirting: Seizing The Moment

Have you ever been called a flirt?Good for you!You see,... Read More

Fear of a Broken Heart

Dear Candace,I am in the process of getting divorced and... Read More

What Type of a Kisser Are You?

As we all know, there are many types of kiss.... Read More

The Relativity of Your Life

We live in the world of the relative. What and... Read More

Think INSIDE the Square to Keep Those Love Fires Burning

I was sitting in my sanctuary in my back yard... Read More

How To Quickly Turn Platonic Friends into Lovers Using The New 5-Step Jealousy Technique

I'm going to get straight to the point. If you... Read More

Should You Forgive Infidelity?

If you're asking yourself that question, then somewhere within you... Read More

How realistic are we?

So often when we think of our ideal mate we... Read More

Relationship Advice: 10 Ways to Prevent a Break Up

The question I am asked most often is: I think... Read More

Are You Paralysed By The Fear Of Future Regrets?

Edith Piaf remains an icon and her best loved song,... Read More

How to Get a Woman to Treat You the Way You Deserve

You know the scenario. You start dating a woman. After... Read More

Romantic Tips ? Gift Giving

I believe that we have all heard of the standard... Read More

Extramarital Affairs: When Sexual Addiction and Infidelity Meet

One kind of extramarital affair revolves around sexual addiction. The... Read More

3 Principals That Will Keep a Long Lasting Relationship

Many of us have had a broken heart and hurt... Read More

The Evolution of Dating at 40 and 50

I am sick of the dating scene at 40. The... Read More

You Dont Have to Break Down, When You Break Up!

Very few people would argue with the fact that creating... Read More

Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 2

The first step toward being able to attract and create... Read More

10 Tips For A Happy Relationship

It's not working. Your relationship with your partner is not... Read More

Lab Created Diamonds Are Now Exceedingly Good

When we think of precious gems, we usually spare little... Read More