Got a Girlfriend? Heres How Not to Screw It Up

Having a girlfriend can be a dangerous thing. We become too dependent on our woman for our happiness, and then if we get dumped, we find that we've all of a sudden lost our confidence. This results in having trouble meeting new women, being without sex for many months, until we finally get a girlfriend again, and... the cycle repeats.

So to break this cycle, we need to REMAIN the attractive guy, the alpha male.

You see, relationships can make us guys too lazy (since the sex is so easy) and we lose that "high value" mindset. It's crucial to keep that alpha male frame of mind that says, "I am like a Lamborghini."

Do Lamborghini dealerships grovel to try to get people to like them? Of course not. Instead they allow all the buyers to come to them. Hell, Lamborghini doesn't even advertise. As a man, you should have a similar confident mindset if you want to maximize the attraction your girlfriend feels for you.

So, how do you keep that alpha mindset? First and foremost, avoid chasing your girlfriend like a puppy dog. A basic concept which will prevent her from ever treating you badly is what I call Punishment and Reward.

If a woman engages in behavior which you disapprove of, punish her by withdrawing your time and focusing on something (or someone) else. If she does something you like (such as having sex with you), reward her by giving her more of your time, talking about her feelings, etc.

So whenever you do something nice for her, do it because you're rewarding her. And DO reward her good behavior, if you want more of it. Like I said, Punishment and Reward.

Then there's the issue of being a challenge. Women act sweet when you're a challenge to them. They act bitchy when they take you for granted and no longer feel like they need put out effort to win your affections.

Often by around month 6 in a relationship is when a woman really starts to take a guy for granted, so avoid that by remaining a challenge.

So the solution to remaining the attractive, alpha guy in your relationships is threefold:

1. Always be willing to focus your time on things other than your girlfriend. Don't reward her for acting bitchy by continuing to be around her when she does. On the other hand, too, reward her for good behavior by giving her more of your time when she acts sweet.

2. Always have it in the back of your mind that you could end the relationship at any time. Don't explicitly threaten her with that, but just make it a subtle implication. That way she'll never become truly comfortable with the relationship and will keep working to win you.

3. Always allow her to think that's she's just a little bit more interested in you than you are in her. Again, this can be very subtle, but if (for example) you're telling her 20 times a day that you love her, and she's only telling you that twice, then obviously the situation is badly out of whack.

John Alexander is author of How to Become an Alpha Male, a dating and seduction success system that will maximize your chances of getting and keeping that dream woman you've got your eye on. Find out more by visiting http://www.alphamalesystem.com/ebook.html

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


A Dear Jon Letter

How do you let go of someone whom you have... Read More

Affairs: Advice for the Couple

Recovering from an affair is hard work and will take... Read More

Charisma, Love and Health

This is an amazing story. It's about my friend Robert.... Read More

Playing the Part

A revelation came to me at the most unsuspecting time.... Read More

Relationship Advice: 10 Ways to Survive a Break Up

Break ups are never easy. You are a bundle of... Read More

5 Ways to Tell Your Man You Love Him

Telling your man that you love him is part of... Read More

10 Crucial and Surprising Steps to Build Trust in a Relationship

1. Be predictable.When do seeds of suspicion emerge? When one... Read More

How A Phony Persona Always Hurts You

'Be yourself', isn't that what you've always heard? It certainly... Read More

Relationship Advice: Warning Signs of an Emotional Affair

"But we're just friends" are four of the most dangerous... Read More

Home For The Holidays: Start That Conversation

Annie waited too long to have that talk with her... Read More

Eight Ways to be a Better Friend

Being a good friend is a skill we can learn... Read More

The Revenge Affair: Characteristics of the Adulterer

"I Want to Get Back at Him/Her" is one of... Read More

Whats Up With Unconditional Love?

To tell you the truth, I'm a little disillusioned with... Read More

Prison Wife: Stand By Your Man

There are approximately 2 million men in the prison system... Read More

After Retirement Separation - Life Just Gets Better!

Life after retirement separation can be a very lonely one... Read More

Should You Forgive Infidelity?

If you're asking yourself that question, then somewhere within you... Read More

What Makes The Ideal Man?

Are you looking for the Ideal Man? While my book... Read More

Improve Relationships With Style

Have you ever felt that relationships are messy? These messes,... Read More

Relationships that Work: How to Get Along with People Who Drive You Crazy

Question: What % of your bad moods at work are... Read More

The Sound of His Laughter

When you're searching for your Mr. Right, I want you... Read More

A Gift From the Heart of a Friend

She stares at me and then closes her eyes. A... Read More

The Use and Abuse of Deception

The word "deceive" is derived from Latin, de- away +... Read More

Relationship Arguments - 7 Ways to Heal Past Hurts

Q: I've read that you are never supposed to bring... Read More

Is This The One?

Isn't that the million dollar question? How can I tell... Read More

Soulmates, Are They Pre-ordained?

One day a telegram arrived at a man's door. When... Read More

Do Men Just Want Mommy?

Accomplished women are losers in romance claims NY Times columnist... Read More

Discerning The Loving Heart

How often have you had the experience of connecting with... Read More

Great Relationships: What to Do When You Have Drifted Apart

Picture, if you will, the following scene:A man and woman,... Read More

Build your Social Support Network

A social support network is a group of people who... Read More

Easy Ways to Turn Any Evening Romantic

If you don't have the time, money or energy to... Read More

A Dream of the Perfect Partner

Your dream is so beautiful and it is never to... Read More

Flirting For A Long-Term Relationship

Have you ever wondered why we flirt? I mean, we've... Read More

Hunter and Gatherer

Deep down, we haven't evolved as much as we would... Read More