Great Relationships: 4 Big Relationship Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

Relationship Mistake No. 1 - Partner Bashing

Bashing the one you are supposed to love seems to have become a national pastime. You know the saying: "Can't live with `em, can't shoot `em."

It's really amazing - one person in a group can start in, and then everyone else wants to top their story or complaint. The reality is that partner bashing reflects poorly on you, because after all, you chose this person.

Relationship Tip: Rebel against the culture and praise your spouse in public. When someone tries to pull you into the game, go the opposite way. You will shock a few people, and if it gets back to your partner, it's great foreplay.

Relationship Mistake No. 2 - Be a Darren Stevens

It's hard to believe, I know, but many people fall into the trap of holding their partner back from using their greatest gifts.

In the old TV sitcom "Bewitched," Darren Stevens would try to keep Samantha from using her abilities. I remember thinking as a kid that this guy was an idiot. All that his wife had to do was wiggle her nose and he could have anything he wanted, and he wanted to stop her.

Sounds crazy, but we do it all the time in relationships.

Relationship Tip: Celebrate and encourage the strengths of your partner. If you take the time to notice, the strengths of your partner usually have two very strong advantages: The strengths of your partner complement your strengths, and the strengths of your partner compensate for some of your weaknesses. When you combine the two sets of strengths, you are stronger together than you are alone.

Relationship Mistake No. 3 - Argue to Win

Arguing to win means you see the other person as an opponent. And once you begin to see your partner as an opponent or an enemy, lots of bad things begin to happen. I recently worked with a couple who would go to any length to win an argument even over little meaningless things, like there was a tally board somewhere keeping score. And they wonder why the relationship is falling apart.

Relationship Tip: When you argue to win, you may get to win, but you win at the expense of the relationship. Instead of arguing against each other, team up to solve the problems that come your way. In my experience, when a couple teams up against a problem, that problem is in big trouble.

Relationship Mistake No. 4 - Getting Complacent

Taking the relationship and the other person for granted is so easy to do. Sometimes we treat our most important love relationship like an item on a to-do list - "OK, got that done, cross it off."

Do you know anyone who would enjoy being an item on a to-do list?

Relationship Tip: Here's a great story about not taking someone for granted. A high school senior was taking his girlfriend of three years to the senior prom.

Since they had been dating for three years, you would think it would be a given that they were going to the prom together. Not this guy. He arranged the following with her parents: One night when she came in the front door, there was a trail of Hershey kisses leading back to the bathroom. In the bathroom, there were rose petals spread all over the shower, and then another trail of Hershey kisses leading to her bedroom.

On her dresser was this note: "Now that I have kissed the ground you walk on and showered you with roses, will you go to the prom with me?"

Think she said yes?

You may not have to use candy and flowers, but take the creativity and passion here and see what you can come up with for your relationship.

My challenge to you is to use these relationship tips to avoid four of the biggest relationship mistakes.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

---

Hold Em or Fold Em?

Like a great game of poker, knowing when to "Hold... Read More

Secrets Your Husband/Significant Other Dont Want You to Know

1. He Only Pretends Not to Listen.He heard what you... Read More

Slaying The Green Eyed Monster

He hasn't called in hours. You call and get the... Read More

Improve Your Relationships Through Vastu

Do you want be in a relationship that brings you... Read More

Romantic Relationships: An Internal Process

If you grew up in the 80s like I did,... Read More

Catch A Cheating Husband the Easy Affordable Way

Many women mistakenly believe they need to hire a private... Read More

Secrets of the Opposite Sex

Secrets of the Opposite SexMany jokes, problems, and conversations revolve... Read More

How to Survive an Affair - Take Care!

Surviving an affair can be a very traumatic experience. Partners... Read More

Relationship Tips to Grow Close and Stay Close

Relationship Tip 1My family loves movies. In the theater, on... Read More

The Womans Guide to Younger Men

I often awake to find Beverly, my older wife, wrapped... Read More

Playing the Part

A revelation came to me at the most unsuspecting time.... Read More

Extra-marital Affairs...Yes or No!!!

Extra-marital Affairs?Yes or No!!! (Think and Tell)"Human Relations", a complex... Read More

Is The Internet A Miracle Cure For Loneliness?

A few years ago a surprising survey discovered that people... Read More

Can a Male and Female be JUST Friends?

Introduction Have you ever heard or have you ever seen,... Read More

Attention Guys: Impress Your Girls - Send Flowers!

Remember that big hug she gave you when you got... Read More

Affairs: Advice for the One Who Strayed

To the spouse who had the affair, it's time for... Read More

Did He Think of Me?

As a betrayed partner this was one of the first... Read More

Long Distance Relationships - How to Make it Work

Long distance relationships are dreadful. I know this because I'm... Read More

The Economics of True Love

In the real world, can there be romance without finance?... Read More

The Revenge Affair: Characteristics of the Adulterer

"I Want to Get Back at Him/Her" is one of... Read More

How To Change A Loved Ones Annoying Habits

Is there someone close to you who has an annoying... Read More

Long Distance Love

Before the advent of the internet, long-distance relationships were rare.... Read More

46 Clues Your Partner is Having an Affair

Some of these signs of a cheating spouse are "tongue... Read More

Relationship Advice: Warning Signs of an Emotional Affair

"But we're just friends" are four of the most dangerous... Read More

What?s Special About Abused Women?

Before writing this article, I stopped and thought hard. By... Read More

8 Reasons Why Your Man Isn?t More Romantic On Valentine?s Day

What is supposed to be the most romantic day of... Read More

When Your Relationships Turn Abusive - What You Can Do

Sometimes the people who are the closest to us, our... Read More

Gag Gifts

Gag gifts can be very funny. They can also cause... Read More

Creative Visualizations for Love

To manifest love through creative visualization, you first need to... Read More

Couples - Learn to Work Together to Solve Problems

Q. There has to be some way around the continuing... Read More

The Sound of His Laughter

When you're searching for your Mr. Right, I want you... Read More

Living in Fear!

As we are aware, our relationships are that bigger part... Read More

Why He May Be Cheating On You

Why He May Be Cheating On YouThere could be all... Read More