I Want to Love Him... But Hes So Far Away

Okay, who are we kidding. Long-distance relationships are not supposed to be easy, because then everyone would be involved in them. However, if we can manage to keep some things in mind and change our mind set just a bit, we can see that making long-distance work is not that bad...not only that, but also that it just might be a little bit of (honest) fun.

What most people think about when they hear about long-distance relationships is failure. Some type of failure. Failure to communicate, failure to stay interested, failure to keep one's hands off of another man or woman. But it isn't so. What long-distance is really about is success... succeeding in sacrificing for a special person, succeeding in doing what most people are unable to do: make love work at a distance.

First, however, we have to get one thing straight. In order for a long-distance relationship to work, BOTH parties must be very and equally interested in making this work in the first place. I've made long-distance work but only when she was as interested as I am. If you sense any doubt or have any reason to be skeptical about the other person's commitment, then the harsh reality is that it might not workout. However, if you have both talked and are sure you want to go along, we here at thecollegeguys.com can help you make it happen.

Communication

Being able to send messages to your significant other is crucial but not always so simple. If this is going to work, you're going to have to do whatever it takes to communicate everything you need to to your special somebody. Try to make it easy on yourself by getting friendly phone plans (free mobile-to-mobile perhaps) and achieve an online presence (online messenger with 30 dollar web cam). Write letters, emails, text messages...mix it up over time and talk about what's going on, how you feel and other positive things. Never focus on the distance or time, ever. That will promote undesirable sentiment towards your situation. Also try to talk every so often about your situation. If you to are willing to see other people but stay close, make sure its mutual. DO NOT have close relations with another if your partner only cares about you. This is considered cheating.

Equal Situation

One of the worst things that can happen is for one person in the relationship to be incredibly busy while the other is incredibly bored. This is just asking for trouble. Instead, what is ideal is for both members of this union to share more or less the same kind of schedule. If you're living at home like a bum it might be hard to make this work if your girlfriend is working to be a doctor at Yale. Interests will change sharply and time will become a factor...what will keep you interested when she has to study for hours tonight and tomorrow, for instance? Instead, if you're both bums or both studying to save the world, chances for this to work will be higher.

Keep it interesting

Try different things. Save money (key word: sacrifice) so that you can visit him/her or s/he can visit you. Play around with phone sex. Play games. Get creative. Remember, if you're really serious, it behooves you to be able to keep each other interested in a variety of ways. Expensive gifts and/or sexuality shouldn't be the only things keeping you together.

Benefits

The benefits to long-distance dating are several. For one, you will not feel suffocated by your partner. You'll have more time for yourself and for other things that you consider important and wouldn't have time for otherwise. Also, you will appreciate the time you two DO have together, resulting in meaningful, quality time that other couples will envy.

Just do it

Now there will be a lot of negativity around: people who snicker at you, tell you you're missing out or crazy...forget that. Just keep doing what you're doing. If the person is worth it, you will have the last laugh. Everyone wants others to fail to make themselves feel better, so succeed at this and you can rub it in later. Once you two make the decision to go along with this, NOTHING should hold you back except for the interest for and of each other. You'll have room to do what you need to, and you know that no matter how far, there's always somone there for you.

Timothy Winters is a writer who specializes in interpersonal relations. He has written several articles concerning relationships, dating, friendship and other related topics for http://www.thecollegeguys.com

---

Relationship Advice: Voices of Experience on the Radio

A few years back I was on a radio talk... Read More

Lab Created Diamonds Are Now Exceedingly Good

When we think of precious gems, we usually spare little... Read More

Its Your Fault I Had An Affair!

When you read it like that, out of context, you'd... Read More

Attraction vs. Love

When we first meet someone, regardless of the way or... Read More

Thinking Lingerie on Super Sunday?

February will bring with it one of the most important... Read More

Single in a Couples World

Advertising for St. Valentine's Day seemed more relentless than ever... Read More

Commonsense Approach to Domestic Violence

Domestic violence the catch phrase for the past ten years.... Read More

Shattered Visions

Sometimes it takes a girlfriend in order to have a... Read More

Romantic Gift Guide

It is a commonly held belief, mainly amongst men, that... Read More

27 Characteristics of Loving Men

Every woman dreams of meeting that special man that knows... Read More

Name That Tune

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 26,... Read More

To Know You Is To Love You

How do you show someone you love them? Do you... Read More

The Logic Of Females - Or Lack There Of

Many males complain that they don't understand females. Many females... Read More

Travel to Find a Russian Bride

Do you agree that the best lessons are lessons given... Read More

Why Men Cheat

"Big, little or short or tall, Wish I could have... Read More

A Look at Interracial Relationships

There's something about America, our history, our values or maybe... Read More

Intent

Over the past few months, things in my life have... Read More

Is Your Relationship Worth Fighting For

Sometimes when a relationship has gone sour, our efforts are... Read More

The Informal Normal In a Black-Tie-Affair World

Have you noticed the trend?You ever notice how on programs... Read More

Feel Like a (Romantic) Kid Again

If the start of the school year makes you a... Read More

The Ancient Wisdom of Matchmaking & Loving Y.O.U.

"Know Thyself" PlatoIsn't it curious how just about everything in... Read More

Rescue and Rebuild Your Relationship: 7 Tips to Make it Work

Create Time To Share And Time On Your Own.Establish time... Read More

Do You Enable?

We all have behaviors, tendencies, patterns, and the keen ability... Read More

What is a Red Flag

The focus of many of the last few articles has... Read More

Won Ton or Kreplach? How We Raise Children in Our Chinese-Jewish Family

I always knew my Oriental wife was Jewish; after all,... Read More

Relationship Problems: Whats Your Contribution?

As the story goes, there was once a farmer and... Read More

Five Easy Steps to Creating Your Dream Relationship

Millions of singles across the world are looking to create... Read More

Great Relatinship Advice: The Ability to Create a Vision for Your Relationship

Many of us stumble into marriage and then continue to... Read More

Affairs: Advice for the One Who Was Betrayed

You are hurt, you are angry, you are simply devastated.Things... Read More

Like Father

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 5,... Read More

7 Myths About Good Guys

It is every woman's dream to meet a "Good Guy"... Read More

Why He May Be Cheating On You

Why He May Be Cheating On YouThere could be all... Read More

Why Doesnt She Leave Him?

It's very easy to look, from the outside, at another... Read More