I Want to Love Him... But Hes So Far Away

Okay, who are we kidding. Long-distance relationships are not supposed to be easy, because then everyone would be involved in them. However, if we can manage to keep some things in mind and change our mind set just a bit, we can see that making long-distance work is not that bad...not only that, but also that it just might be a little bit of (honest) fun.

What most people think about when they hear about long-distance relationships is failure. Some type of failure. Failure to communicate, failure to stay interested, failure to keep one's hands off of another man or woman. But it isn't so. What long-distance is really about is success... succeeding in sacrificing for a special person, succeeding in doing what most people are unable to do: make love work at a distance.

First, however, we have to get one thing straight. In order for a long-distance relationship to work, BOTH parties must be very and equally interested in making this work in the first place. I've made long-distance work but only when she was as interested as I am. If you sense any doubt or have any reason to be skeptical about the other person's commitment, then the harsh reality is that it might not workout. However, if you have both talked and are sure you want to go along, we here at thecollegeguys.com can help you make it happen.

Communication

Being able to send messages to your significant other is crucial but not always so simple. If this is going to work, you're going to have to do whatever it takes to communicate everything you need to to your special somebody. Try to make it easy on yourself by getting friendly phone plans (free mobile-to-mobile perhaps) and achieve an online presence (online messenger with 30 dollar web cam). Write letters, emails, text messages...mix it up over time and talk about what's going on, how you feel and other positive things. Never focus on the distance or time, ever. That will promote undesirable sentiment towards your situation. Also try to talk every so often about your situation. If you to are willing to see other people but stay close, make sure its mutual. DO NOT have close relations with another if your partner only cares about you. This is considered cheating.

Equal Situation

One of the worst things that can happen is for one person in the relationship to be incredibly busy while the other is incredibly bored. This is just asking for trouble. Instead, what is ideal is for both members of this union to share more or less the same kind of schedule. If you're living at home like a bum it might be hard to make this work if your girlfriend is working to be a doctor at Yale. Interests will change sharply and time will become a factor...what will keep you interested when she has to study for hours tonight and tomorrow, for instance? Instead, if you're both bums or both studying to save the world, chances for this to work will be higher.

Keep it interesting

Try different things. Save money (key word: sacrifice) so that you can visit him/her or s/he can visit you. Play around with phone sex. Play games. Get creative. Remember, if you're really serious, it behooves you to be able to keep each other interested in a variety of ways. Expensive gifts and/or sexuality shouldn't be the only things keeping you together.

Benefits

The benefits to long-distance dating are several. For one, you will not feel suffocated by your partner. You'll have more time for yourself and for other things that you consider important and wouldn't have time for otherwise. Also, you will appreciate the time you two DO have together, resulting in meaningful, quality time that other couples will envy.

Just do it

Now there will be a lot of negativity around: people who snicker at you, tell you you're missing out or crazy...forget that. Just keep doing what you're doing. If the person is worth it, you will have the last laugh. Everyone wants others to fail to make themselves feel better, so succeed at this and you can rub it in later. Once you two make the decision to go along with this, NOTHING should hold you back except for the interest for and of each other. You'll have room to do what you need to, and you know that no matter how far, there's always somone there for you.

Timothy Winters is a writer who specializes in interpersonal relations. He has written several articles concerning relationships, dating, friendship and other related topics for http://www.thecollegeguys.com

---

To Apologize or Not to Apologize...That is the Question

We don't like to say it and we don't always... Read More

You are Killing US with YOUR Jealousy

Hey all, I feel that need to reach out and... Read More

He Said, She Said

The Relationship TriangleMost people get involved in a relationship for... Read More

Single in a Couples World

Advertising for St. Valentine's Day seemed more relentless than ever... Read More

Cheating Spouse: Is Spying an Invasion of Privacy?

My, how the cheating spouse cries foul when he/she discovers... Read More

When Your Relationships Turn Abusive - What You Can Do

Sometimes the people who are the closest to us, our... Read More

Affairs: What an Affair Really Is and What an Affair Really Does

We hear about it all the time - in magazines,... Read More

Dumped? Get Set for a New Life

Welcome to Dumpsville. Population - you!You've been dumped for a... Read More

Intent

Over the past few months, things in my life have... Read More

Understanding Your Teen Relationship

Teen relationships are touchy things. Girls are often ready for... Read More

Amaze Your Lover - 16 Romantic Ideas To Keep Them Happy

Some people have a natural ability to romance the oppposite... Read More

Great Relationships: How to Solve Problems and Have Fun Too

I recently came across this quote:"There is a time in... Read More

How Compatible Are You and Your Partner?

What are the things you argue about? Where are the... Read More

Great Relationship Advice: Declaration or Demonstration

Q: Could you help us settle a growing conflict in... Read More

Whats Up With Unconditional Love?

To tell you the truth, I'm a little disillusioned with... Read More

Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 2

The first step toward being able to attract and create... Read More

Prince Charles and Camilla - The Greatest Love Story Of Our Time

Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles have loved each other... Read More

Christmas Gifts Can Be a Cheating Husbands Undoing

Have you been plagued by the nagging feeling that your... Read More

Relationship Problems: Whats Your Contribution?

As the story goes, there was once a farmer and... Read More

Pen Pal Romance

We have all heard the wonderfully romantic stories of pen... Read More

Gag Gifts

Gag gifts can be very funny. They can also cause... Read More

Honesty Accepted - Deception Denied

We've all done it at one time or another, or... Read More

I Have A Secret to Share

Dear Candace,I have been through a lot over the last... Read More

The Three Rings of Relationships

Glenna Trout is an international authority on face reading whose... Read More

Does a Woman Want a Strong Christian Man?

Most women say they want a strong religious man who... Read More

Ounce of Prevention

"To love, honour and cherish", easy words to say during... Read More

Relationship Advice: How to Make a Genuine Apology

A genuine apology contains at least four elements: apology, acknowledgment,... Read More

Friendship Advice for a Shrinking Planet

Ahh, friends. The people we pick up along the proverbial... Read More

How to Use Humor to Improve Your Relationships

Humor has long been considered one of the most effective... Read More

Travel to Find a Russian Bride

Do you agree that the best lessons are lessons given... Read More

Essense of Infidelity

On one very popular web site there were 260 posts... Read More

Desirous Attachment , the Trap and the Solution

I've seen a lot in my life. A lot of... Read More

Simple Love Spells

Here are some very simple rituals, some old, and some... Read More