How Often do you Think About What you are Going to Say?

How often do you think about what you are going to say prior to actually saying it? As a counselor, I have been trained to understand that working with Native Americans, there may be a quite a long pause before my client makes a response to something we are discussing.

Native American children are taught through folklore, that they need to think carefully about the words they are going to use. The reason for this is that they believe that once statements are made, the words used will circle the globe for ever and ever, influencing the world. Perhaps all cultures should embrace this concept.

If you feel you are ready to give a "knee jerk" response", you need to take some time and reflect on what it is you want to say and how to convey your message without negativity. Count in your head to ten. This can help delay any inappropriate response you were thinking about. You may also decide to leave the room in order to calm down. No change happens overnight, but with practice and a commitment to change it happens. If more of us would take time to reflect on our words, there might be fewer heated arguments and more harmony among all of us.

Karlynn Baker is originally from Los Angeles, but moved to Arizona to receive her Master of Science Degree in Rehabilitation Counseling with a specialty in addictions. Karlynn owns The Employee Assistance Program, of Tucson, Inc. Mental health services are offered to companies under contract and the sessions for their employees are confidential and free.

Karlynn shares a positive message every morning on KSAZ 580 AM, entitled "A Thoughtful Moment." She is also a Licensed Professional Counselor in Arizona and a Certified Rehabilitation Counselor. She enjoys life with her husband, David, her three daughters, and two adorable grandsons.

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Setting Up Boundaries in Relationships

Setting up personal boundaries is important in all types of... Read More

Name That Tune

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 26,... Read More

When Attracting Sexy Women, Remember... Time And Circumstance Change Everything

Many guys are just too intimidated and full of anxiety... Read More

Universal Laws for Couples

The Law of Connection: Spouses are either growing closer or... Read More

The Sting

Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 28,... Read More

Approval - You Dont Need It

Yesterday, after receiving a massage to help ease my computer-aided... Read More

Love or Lust

Do you know what the definition of love is? This... Read More

Destroyers of Relationships

Communication and listening is very important in any relationship. For... Read More

Anniversary Blues

Jamie and Kurt are a sweet, successful couple in their... Read More

A Kernel of Truth about Relationships: 4 Steps to Improvement

It's all about relationships! proclaimed my father during our recent... Read More

[Conflict Resolution] The Philosophy of Fear and Confrontation

Is there now, or has there been, a person or... Read More

Put Some Z.I.P. Into Your Relationships

Relationships are really what makes the world go 'round, aren't... Read More

Thinking Lingerie on Super Sunday?

February will bring with it one of the most important... Read More

Relationship Conflict: 5 Deadly Mistakes and What to Do Instead

While conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.The secret... Read More

Are You Fit To Love?

is the most important question you'll ever ask yourself. Let's... Read More

Catch A Cheating Husband the Easy Affordable Way

Many women mistakenly believe they need to hire a private... Read More

Why He May Be Cheating On You

Why He May Be Cheating On YouThere could be all... Read More

Relationship Your Way To A Successful and Fulfilling Life

What is a relationship? What does a relationship mean? There... Read More

The First Ninety Days

A friend of mine recently commented on the amazing number... Read More

Relationship Advice for Women - Beyond the Happy Ending - Part 3 - The Jealousy Syndrome

Jealousy, unfortunately it seems to pop up sometime in even... Read More

The Sponge Pattern

Relationships. They're complicated, right? At least that's what we've been... Read More

10 Things You Probably Didnt Know About Signs of Infidelity

Certain things about signs of infidelity come as a surprise... Read More

Rhubarb Romance: A Little Honey Works Wonders

Spring is in the air. It is a time of... Read More

The Sound of His Laughter

When you're searching for your Mr. Right, I want you... Read More

The Secret Power of Romance and How It Can Work for You

There are some men who will never understand the importance... Read More

Getting More From Dating, Romantic Relationships, and Marriage

Romantic relationships happen because of the hopes and dreams a... Read More

Zen And Romance

The art of romance and the art of Zen are... Read More

He Said, She Said

The Relationship TriangleMost people get involved in a relationship for... Read More

Tips for Building Love Relationships - 1

Nearly everyone claims to want a great relationship with their... Read More

Playing the Part

A revelation came to me at the most unsuspecting time.... Read More

Tips For Proper Kissing Etiquette!

Many cultures have customary kissing etiquettes. The French for instance... Read More

Is Your Relationship Worth Fighting For

Sometimes when a relationship has gone sour, our efforts are... Read More

The Evolution of Love

Songs have been saying it for generations together. Ask anyone... Read More