7 Power Skills that Build Strong Relationships

A strong, healthy relationship is one in which the partners show respect and kindness toward each other. The relationship forms a rewarding and enduring bond of trust and support. Here are seven power skills that will help you form stronger alliances and bring more closeness, authenticity and trust to your relationships.

1. Relax Optimistically

If you are comfortable around others, they will feel comfortable around you. If you appear nervous, others will sense it and withdraw. If you are meeting someone for the first time, brighten up as if you've rediscovered a long-lost friend. A smile will always be the most powerful builder of rapport. Communicating with relaxed optimism, energy and enthusiasm will provide a strong foundation for lasting relationships.

2. Listen Deeply

Powerful listening goes beyond hearing words and messages; it connects us emotionally with our communication partner. Listen to what the person is not saying as well as to what he or she is saying. Focus intently and listen to the messages conveyed behind and between words.

Listen also with your eyes and heart. Notice facial expressions and body postures, but see beneath the surface of visible behaviors. Feel the range of emotions conveyed by tone of voice and rhythm of speech. Discern what the person wants you to hear and also what they want you to feel.

3. Feel Empathetically

Empathy is the foundation of good two-way communication. Being empathetic is seeing from another person's perspective regardless of your opinion or belief. Treat their mistakes as you would want them to treat your mistakes. Let the individual know that you are concerned with the mistake, and that you still respect them as a person. Share their excitement in times of victory, and offer encouragement in times of difficulty. Genuine feelings of empathy will strengthen the bond of trust.

4. Respond Carefully

Choose emotions and words wisely. Measure your emotions according to the person's moods and needs. Words can build or destroy trust. They differ in shades of meaning, intensity, and impact. What did you learn when listening deeply to the other individual? Reflect your interpretation of the person's message back to them. Validate your understanding of their message.

Compliment the person for the wisdom and insights they've shared with you. This shows appreciation and encourages further dialogs with the individual. A response can be encouraging or discouraging. If you consider in advance the impact of your emotions and words, you will create a positive impact on your relationships.

5. Synchronize Cooperatively

When people synchronize their watches, they insure that their individual actions will occur on time to produce an intended outcome. Relationships require ongoing cooperative action to survive and thrive.

As relationships mature, the needs and values of the individuals and relationship will change. Career relationships will require the flexibility to meet changing schedules and new project goals. Cooperative actions provide synchrony and build trusting alliances. They are part of the give and take that empowers strong, enduring relationships.

6. Act Authentically

Acting authentically means acting with integrity. It means living in harmony with your values. Be yourself when you are with someone else. Drop acts that create false appearances and false security.

When you act authentically, you are honest with yourself and others. You say what you will do, and do what you say. Ask for what you want in all areas of your relationships. Be clear about what you will tolerate. Find out what your relationship partners want also. Being authentic creates mutual trust and respect.

7. Acknowledge Generously

Look for and accentuate the positive qualities in others. Humbly acknowledge the difference that people make to your life. Validate them by expressing your appreciation for their life and their contributions. If you let someone know that they are valuable and special, they will not forget you. Showing gratitude and encouragement by words and actions will strengthen the bonds of any relationship.

Don't forget to acknowledge your most important relationship: the relationship with yourself. Acknowledge your own qualities, and put those qualities into action. You cannot form a stronger relationship with others than you have with yourself. You will attract the qualities in others that are already within you.

Ask yourself: What thoughts and behaviors will attract the kind of relationships I desire? What is one action I could take today that would empower my current relationships?

Write down all the qualities or behaviors that you desire for your relationships. Select the power skills that will attract those qualities. Keep a journal of the actions you take and the progress you make. By turning these skills into lifelong habits, you will build relationships that are healthy, strong and mutually rewarding.

© Copyright 2005 by Steve Brunkhorst. Steve is a professional life success coach, motivational author, and the editor of Achieve! 60-Second Nuggets of Inspiration, a popular mini-zine bringing great stories, motivational nuggets, and inspiring thoughts to help you achieve more in your career and personal life. Get the next issue by visiting http://www.AchieveEzine.com

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Home For The Holidays: Start That Conversation

Annie waited too long to have that talk with her... Read More

A Womans World

Women are simply wonderful don't you think? This question is... Read More

Why Do Men Cheat?

In my relationship work, this question is probably the one... Read More

Bring Back the Cilice Belt

Among Dan Brown's many accomplishments is bringing the cilice belt... Read More

Mental Abuse - The 7 Most Important Things To Know

1. Sticks and stones won't break my bones" ? and... Read More

How to Turn Down Invitations Gracefully

All of us occasionally receive social invitations that we don't... Read More

Ending a Relationship Gracefully

Ending a relationship is never easy. When you feel you... Read More

Understanding Your Teen Relationship

Teen relationships are touchy things. Girls are often ready for... Read More

When A Two-Salary Income Fails

While this may not apply to everyone, you may find... Read More

Romantic Gift Guide

It is a commonly held belief, mainly amongst men, that... Read More

What Is A Boundary In A Relationship?

You might ask yourself, I have heard this word boundary,... Read More

My Life

My sister is 45 and having an affair with an... Read More

My Fairy Tale Is Gone

Dear Candace,My girlfriend and I recently split up. I called... Read More

Live Like You Were Dying: Help for Overcoming an Affair

In the recovery phase of my husbands last affair I... Read More

How to Communicate Constructively

Destructive communication erodes self-esteem and harms relationships. Such communication patterns... Read More

The Logic Of Females - Or Lack There Of

Many males complain that they don't understand females. Many females... Read More

Are the Neighbors Next Door Secretly Swinging?

The swinging lifestyle does not discriminate against race, body type,... Read More

Abusive Relationships

Abusive relationships are so painful that I often wonder why... Read More

A Gift From the Heart of a Friend

She stares at me and then closes her eyes. A... Read More

Men and Relationships

Ever since the women's movement began, women have empowered themselves... Read More

How Can Empathy Shape Your Values?

One of the most underrated concepts that most people overlook... Read More

10 Fast Ways to Re-ignite the Flames of Love

Enhance Romance today.When Men and Women enter into a relationship,... Read More

Players: How to Deal with Them

Eventually, we'll all either play or be played. I'd like... Read More

How To Change A Loved Ones Annoying Habits

Is there someone close to you who has an annoying... Read More

How to Tell If Your Boyfriend or Husband Is Cheating On You

The word infidelity brings with it fear to every woman... Read More

Got a Girlfriend? Heres How Not to Screw It Up

Having a girlfriend can be a dangerous thing. We become... Read More

True Love - Part 1

True Love! We all dream of being in love with... Read More

Is Your Soulmate an Idiot?

Lately, I think people are investing too much energy in... Read More

Three Qualities of a Good Relationship

All relationships have some adjustment periods, but being hurt shouldn't... Read More

The Spiritual Connection of True Romance

In the springtime, with the flowers budding and the birds... Read More

Relationship Quiz - Copasetic, Caution, or Conundrum?

This quiz is based on key areas of communication and... Read More

Relationship Advice: 10 Tips for a Blissful Relationship

1.Often in marriage, especially in the early years, there is... Read More

Catch A Cheating Husband the Easy Affordable Way

Many women mistakenly believe they need to hire a private... Read More