How to Create a Solid Foundation for Loving Relationships

What does real love look like? The way we act towards other people is a true expression of how much we love.

The Indian Jesuit Anthony de Mello tells this story:

The student asks the Master, 'What is love?'
'The total absence of fear,' the Master replies.
'What is it that we fear?' the student asks.
'Love,' says the Master.

We first must be clear in our own mind and understand that building a solid relationship foundation requires the following qualities that express love.

Love is Loyalty.
If you are in love it means you look to no other person to meet your desires. It means you have no longing for another. Loyalty means you are faithful and devoted to the one you are with in every way. The moment you find yourself desiring another or taking long looks and fantasying, you are no longer in love with your partner and this must be addressed before your desires turn into action.

Loyalty means saying no to all temptation that might hinder your present bond of love. While you are in relationship you must respect the moment and open yourself up to your partner's potential as long as you are together. This does not mean you must be with someone the rest of your life. If a relationship threatens or harms you in anyway it is definitely time to move on. Loyalty is also about being loyal to your own values and respecting your partner's values.

Love is Trust.
Do you have difficulties trusting others? Trust issues are based in fear. Every relationship we are involved in allows us to work on trust. This means communicating with a sense of honour and integrity. If you avoid your issues associated with trust it will continue to resurface until you acknowledge it and begin to clear negative belief patterns associated to your past. Trust in any relationship begins with how you feel about yourself. Do you trust yourself?

Love is Respect.
The quality of respect will always lift a relationship up. Loving relationships involve a deep level of respect for yourself and your partner. The best way to respect your relationship is to never speak negatively about your partner. Some people get caught up in trashing their mate not realizing the consequences of their actions. Most people do not realize that the more they talk negatively about their spouse or partner to others it only creates destructive energy in the relationship. What happens is your family member or friends now hold a negative image of your partner in their mind long after the issue has been resolved. If you need to discuss your relationship concerns respect each other by seeking professional help.

Love is Appreciation.
The true act of giving flows from the art of appreciation. Women tend to give more in a relationship than men. Thankfully, that is now changing. Men are ready to appreciate the feminine and honour the wisdom of women. Women are ready to appreciate the gentleness that comes from the strength of a real man. The secret every man should know is that if they give to their companion in a loving way which shows appreciation, they will receive love ten fold. For example, if a man acknowledges his partner in a meaningful way and goes out of his way to help around the house, their partner is more likely to connect sexually. Appreciating your partner, you transform loveless sex into passionate love encounters.

Stephanie Dowrick author of The Universal Heart writes, we function most healthy when we feel valued by others and value ourselves. This supports the development of loving and respectful relationships.

Love is Integrity.
Are you afraid of admitting the truth of how you feel? What do you perceive happening to you if you do? Learning to stand in our own vulnerable takes courage and brings incredible strength to a relationship. Learn to be up front with how you feel such as, I am feeling vulnerable right now or I am feeling stressed about work and I just need some time to change my thoughts. When we can communicate honestly with our partner we open the door for understanding. Bring the gift of integrity into your relationship by being real with where you are in your own mind without blaming anyone for your experience.

In changing our ways of being we give more room for love to blossom. The choices we make strongly impact our lives and the lives of those around us. Knowing what true love looks like, we can then opt to strengthen these qualities in our own lives instead of reacting in fear.

If we have a deep desire to experience more in our relationships we must breathe in the word change. People who are less adaptable to change allow for stagnation to set in which can lead to boredom. Acknowledging where we are at and taking the steps to change our behaviors we begin to create the life we long for. Instead of fearing change embrace change. We live in a fluid world forever moving, evolving and expressing in new ways. It means we will not be the same person we are today. It means we must allow ourselves to expand and evolve our heart and mind.

You may have been motivated by phantom fear in the past but now you can make a choice, a choice to renew your life, your relationship and begin again. With a strong foundation you can lift your relationship up into the vibration of love where loyalty, trust, respect, integrity and appreciation are valued and communicated. Creating a solid foundation based in love we must demonstrate our good intentions with loving action. Are you ready to make changes for the sake of love?

Karen Klassen is owner of Imagine Seminars & Consulting company based in Calgary, Alberta Canada. She is a Personal Life and Relationship Coach and facilitator of The Loving Relationship Workshop and Women Reclaiming Their Power Workshop. For more information view http://www.imagineseminars.ca or email: info@imagineseminars.ca

---

How To Slay The Toxic Dragon In Your Life

How To "Slay The Dragon" In Your Life In Five... Read More

Apologizing When We Hurt Our Friends or Partners

In every relationship there will be occasional misunderstandings and hurt... Read More

Will They or Will They Not Cheat?

Have you ever told your partner or spouse how you... Read More

60 Words and Phrases that Make Men Fall Deeper in Love

The interesting thing about getting the love you deserve is... Read More

Managing Miscommunication - Asking The Agreement Question?

A man and woman were trying to move a couch... Read More

8 Keys to Lasting Love

My granddaughter, Merritt Miles, was the inspiration for this CD,... Read More

The Womans Guide to Younger Men

I often awake to find Beverly, my older wife, wrapped... Read More

Is This The One?

Isn't that the million dollar question? How can I tell... Read More

Blondes Talking About Blondes!

What is it about blondes that both sexes find so... Read More

Lobster - The Food Of Romantics

Summer has arrived! Woo-Hoo! Do you know what always comes... Read More

Find Your Love as Early as Possible

Life is made of innumerable dots. Dots, which are part... Read More

9 Myths About Being Single

More than 48% of US households are headed by unmarried... Read More

How To Quickly Turn Platonic Friends into Lovers Using The New 5-Step Jealousy Technique

I'm going to get straight to the point. If you... Read More

Why Its Important to Stay in Contact with Your Friends when Youre in a Relationship

So often when we begin to enter into a new... Read More

Calling Forth a Soulmate

How do I draw a soulmate into my life? You... Read More

Thick Slice, Or Thin?

Malcolm Gladwell's book "Blink" is a fascinating read. The subtitle... Read More

How to Build Solid Relationships Using the Power of Words

We may not be aware of it; but the words... Read More

Communication Is The Key To A Lasting Relationship

"If you are trying to find ways to lead a... Read More

The Spiritual Connection of True Romance

In the springtime, with the flowers budding and the birds... Read More

The Sound of His Laughter

When you're searching for your Mr. Right, I want you... Read More

Relationship Advice: Grieving Before Going On

Q. I got married for the first time when I... Read More

The Simple Facts About Falling In Love

We are meant to live a life of love. However,... Read More

The Sting

Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 28,... Read More

Soulmates, Are They Pre-ordained?

One day a telegram arrived at a man's door. When... Read More

Soul Mates ? Finding True Love and Commitment

Finding your true Soul Mate is something that many people... Read More

Are You Chasing Dollars or Your Kids?

Striking a perfect balance between work and home today can... Read More

How to Get a Woman to Treat You the Way You Deserve

You know the scenario. You start dating a woman. After... Read More

Relationship Reality: Are Your Relationships Based In Reality or Fantasy?

Within the next two to three minutes, you will uncover... Read More

Finding Your Feng Shui Power Spots for Love and Romance

The first step in using feng shui to attract a... Read More

Are You Codependent or Independent?

Why is it that depending on others to fulfill our... Read More

What Is A Boundary In A Relationship?

You might ask yourself, I have heard this word boundary,... Read More

Assuming Personal Responsibility in Relationships

Stephen Covey in 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families says... Read More

The 7 Stages of a Romantic Relationship

There are seven stages in a romantic relationship: avoidance, meeting,... Read More