Dont Ignore the Signs: How Emotional Infidelity Can Ruin Your Relationship

Emotional infidelity can start with a simple hi or a wink. It begins in a boardroom or a chatroom. One spouse says, "What's the problem? We're only friends."

The other spouse can't believe the reassurances. So the jealousy builds and a wedge is driven between partners. Sometimes nothing really is going on, and sometimes an affair is in progress. It's only a matter of time.

So how can you tell if your spouse is a potential cheater? How can you stop a relationship from becoming romantic outside of your marriage? Here are five topics to think about before determining if your marriage is in the danger zone.

1. Secrecy: Do you feel as though your partner could be telling you more about his or her new friend? Or do you hide the details of your platonic relationship from your spouse? If so, why? It's best not to keep secrets from your partner, even if you think he or she will be hurt, angry or jealous. If you want a successful relationship, trust and honesty is the one factor for marriage that should not be compromised.

2. Displaced Trust: Is information that should only be shared between husband and a wife, shared outside of the relationship? Topics like sexual intimacy, irreconcilable differences, personal finances, and detailed accounts of your partner's shortcomings are best left within the constructs of your marriage relationship.

3. Comparing: Does your spouse compare you to friend(s) of the opposite sex often? Or do YOU feel as though your spouse could improve in the areas that your special friend excels? Comparing once or twice may not be a problem, but habitual comparison is a warning sign.

4. Time Management: What type of time do you spend together as a married couple? Is it mainly dutiful, like paying bills or going to conferences for the kids? Or do you actually date-- one-on-one, no kids, family or friends around? If not, and you find yourself, or your partner, engaged in date like activities outside of your relationship, stop it. Either invite your spouse or don't do it anymore. Coffee talk can turn to pillow talk in the blink of an eye.

5. Attraction: Do you feel as though your spouse like the way his/her special friend looks? Are you attracted to the way your friend looks or the way he/she does something? If so, address this issue with your partner and then try to refocus your attention on each other, rather than the outside party.

If three to five of these topics need to be addressed in your marriage, I urge you to get professional help either from your religious leader or from a professional counselor.

Keishia Lee-Louis is the Editor and Publisher of http://www.Married4Good.com (launching November 2005). Her work has appeared on iVillage.com, BibleResourceCenter.com, and in numerous other printed publications.

Currently, she lives with her husband, daughter and son and is writing a book on marriage and relationships which will be published Spring 2006.

If you'd like to see more of her work, visit http://married4good.blogspot.com

---

Better Than Help

One thing that women in abusive relationships and their family... Read More

Communication in Dating

Does your dating relationship have good communication? Communication during dating... Read More

Did Casanova Really Need the Oysters?

Scientists are rubbing their hands together with glee. A recent... Read More

Are all Men Unfaithful?

"Men are all the same. Stop looking for Prince Charming,... Read More

Shattered Visions

Sometimes it takes a girlfriend in order to have a... Read More

Swinging! Will My Spouse Be Interested?

How does one talk his/her spouse into living the Swinging... Read More

Live Like You Were Dying: Help for Overcoming an Affair

In the recovery phase of my husbands last affair I... Read More

Communicate What You Feel: How to be Understood By Those You Love

Good communication is of fundamental importance in intimate relationships. The... Read More

How Can Empathy Shape Your Values?

One of the most underrated concepts that most people overlook... Read More

Does a Woman Want a Strong Christian Man?

Most women say they want a strong religious man who... Read More

How to Increase Romance with Humor

Ask any single adult what qualities he or she wants... Read More

Calling Forth a Soulmate

How do I draw a soulmate into my life? You... Read More

A Guide to Relationship Quizzes

Sometime in the 1950's, women's magazines started publishing relationship quizzes... Read More

Here Come the Questions

Why is it that even though I am not positive... Read More

The Five Second Flirt Technique

The first thing you want to do is to get... Read More

Dont Be A Doormat in Your Relationship

There comes a point in every relationship when the person... Read More

Relationship Tune Up - 7 Key Points to Avoid a Break Up or Break Down

"Every three months or 3,000 miles."That's how the sticker in... Read More

Relationships That Really Last: Is This the Secret?

In my e-book, How to Build Relationships That Stick, I... Read More

How Do We Know When A Relationship Has A Future?

In many instances, we all are "gun shy" after a... Read More

The Sound of His Laughter

When you're searching for your Mr. Right, I want you... Read More

Mindfulness and Flirting: Seizing The Moment

Have you ever been called a flirt?Good for you!You see,... Read More

You Have to Read Heartbreak Rescue Just For You

"The truth that makes men free is for the most... Read More

Do You Love Reading The Daily Horoscopes Part II

How many time have you felt an instant attraction to... Read More

The Secret of Relationship Success

With a divorce rate in this country that approaches 50%,... Read More

He Said, She Heard: Communication Meltdown within Relationship

It starts young, as babies. We learn communication from our... Read More

Setting Up Boundaries in Relationships

Setting up personal boundaries is important in all types of... Read More

Men Love Women Who Initiate Sex ? 4 Fun Ways to Do It

This is a sizzling hot topic for a lot of... Read More

Relationship Conflict: 5 Deadly Mistakes and What to Do Instead

While conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.The secret... Read More

Five Tips for Breaking Free of The Drama Habit and Developing a Healthier Arguing Style

We all feel angry from time to time, but feeling... Read More

Discerning The Loving Heart

How often have you had the experience of connecting with... Read More

Coping with Your Difficulties in Yourself

Ashleigh Brillant once said""Coping with difficult people is always a... Read More

Ulterior Motive

Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 7,... Read More

Successful on the Outside, Lonely on the Inside: Our Hidden Epidemic

I say "Loneliness. Isolation. Invisibility."You ask "Eleanor Rigby?" I say... Read More