Your Relationships Begin With You

As a single male in my mid-twenties, I find myself consciously and unconsciously thinking about and searching for that special someone. My goal has always been to be friends with my future wife for at least a year, date for a year, engaged for a year, which includes being married by the time I'm thirty.

This goal may seem far-fetched and I admit it is, so I'm open to altering it. I know what I want in a future spouse (I think) and I definitely know what I don't want. But the older I get, the more I realize that the challenge to find someone who fits what I want and what I don't want seems like "mission: impossible." My impatience steps in which seems to prolong my wait to meet this future wife of mine.

Occasionally, I reflect on the thought that she is out there somewhere so I wonder what she is doing at that very moment and if she is thinking of me. As much as I am actively trying to find someone, I'm reminded by my friends how they found their special someone when they were least expecting to. I have to remind myself and know that God will introduce me to her and reveal who she is when we are both ready.

So does that mean I'm not ready? I think I am, but at times I have my doubts. Maybe she isn't ready, which could mean that she is doing something to better herself for our relationship. I'll always go back to the question of if I'm ready or not. How will I know? I believe the answer lies in how I respond to the following questions:

I ask myself if I'm financially ready. Who is? I graduated college a couple of years ago and have already went through two career changes and I have been laid off. Needless to say, my checkbook is nowhere near where I want it to be, I won't even mention credit cards. So I need to think more about saving for my future, buying a house, and paying off some bills. After all, I don't want to drag her into my debt and spending habits. I know that I need to better myself in regards to finances.

I ask myself, am I physically fit and attractive? The honest answer is that I'm not in as good of shape as I'd like to be and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I know I need to join a gym, look online for articles about cooking healthier for bachelors, and watch how many times I go out to eat. What is a better motivator to working out besides looking good for yourself and gaining that confidence, than wanting to look good for your significant other? After all, I hope my wife is attracted to me as I am to her.

I ask myself, am I smart? With a college degree I think so, until I watch shows like Jeopardy or play board games with friends and I realize that I still have a lot to learn. I am thinking of going back to school. After all, I want my wife to think I'm intelligent.

I ask myself if I'm in the spiritual place with God that I want to be. Do I attend church every week? Do I read the Bible each day? Am I asking more from God than I am thanking Him during prayer? Am I a good example for others and am I teaching them about God? After all, I hope my future wife and I can pray together and maybe take a leadership role in a youth group.

I ask myself, am I happy as an individual? A relationship can bring happiness and fill the void of being alone, but should I put that burden on my future wife? If you are comfortable being yourself, being happy alone and don't need someone, that is a step in the right direction. I believe that needing someone to fill a void and wanting someone to fill a void are two entirely different things. This is why your relationships begin with you. After all, if you don't love yourself, then how do you expect someone else to?

"Happiness depends upon ourselves" ~ Aristotle

When you fulfill the above aspects of your life to an acceptable extent - then watch out, your future spouse may just be at the local bookstore, in the gym, at church, at work, at school, or at the bank. I don't expect to be able to accomplish each of these things in the next four years, but I will always strive to do so. After all, I hope she will always strive to do the same. And most of all, I hope we will continue to strive to do these things together!

Chad J. Bring is a rising author who just published his first novel, "Left Standing" in addition to co-writing a screenplay for an independent film through their RoomMate Productions film production company.

---

Wow, Grandma Is Dating!

Wow, Grandma Is Dating!When Lena, 52, began dating, her son,... Read More

Being Dumped, Just Plain Sucks!

Today I received a question from a guy. Here is... Read More

The Man - Truth of The Visual Being

The article What Turns Them On explained about how men... Read More

20 Tips to Keep Love Alive

Have you ever been at a loss to think of... Read More

How To Write a Romantic Love Letter

Does the thought of writing a love letter or poem... Read More

If You Love Me

If you love me, you will keep my commandments?In the... Read More

Extra-marital Affairs...Yes or No!!!

Extra-marital Affairs?Yes or No!!! (Think and Tell)"Human Relations", a complex... Read More

Are You Chasing Dollars or Your Kids?

Striking a perfect balance between work and home today can... Read More

It?s a Gut Feeling ? Finding love

Most single guys are settled in their life. Their mornings,... Read More

3 Stone Diamond Rings ? Three Times As Nice!

It is said that the stones in 3 stone diamond... Read More

Relationship Advice: 9 More Must-Know Tips for Couples

The Law of Two QuestionsThere are two questions that couples... Read More

What Men Hate in Women

Without wasting much time, here are some of the personality... Read More

Men Love Women Who Initiate Sex ? 4 Fun Ways to Do It

This is a sizzling hot topic for a lot of... Read More

7 Ways To Improve Your Relationship

Good relationships don't just happen. I've heard many of my... Read More

Dangerous Relationship?

I will in this article cover some of my own... Read More

Want To Strengthen Your Relationship

Open your mouth. What do I mean? Talk ? say... Read More

Whats in a Kiss

Just think of being in front of a warm cracking... Read More

Get Lucky In Your Love Life

Whether you are single or married, we all need luck... Read More

Intent

Over the past few months, things in my life have... Read More

How to Get a Woman to Treat You the Way You Deserve

You know the scenario. You start dating a woman. After... Read More

Defining Relationship Commitment for Todays Couples

WHAT IS COMMITMENT?The question of when a relationship is committed... Read More

Proper Flower Etiquette

Flowers are great gifts for practically any occasion, but there... Read More

After Retirement Separation - Life Just Gets Better!

Life after retirement separation can be a very lonely one... Read More

E-Love at Easter - Part Two

The next week was a whirl. The first quarter of... Read More

How To Re-ignite the Fire in Your Relationship!

Couples that are together for a while sometimes suffer from... Read More

Communicate What You Feel: How to be Understood By Those You Love

Good communication is of fundamental importance in intimate relationships. The... Read More

Improve Relationships With Style

Have you ever felt that relationships are messy? These messes,... Read More

Valentine?s Day is Fast Approaching, So Gather the Chocolates and Lingerie

That lover's holiday we know as Valentine's Day is coming... Read More

Spouse Improvement: Influence Your Partner to Change in Just 7 Steps

Everyone has something they'd like to change in their partner.... Read More

Coping with Your Abuser

How to cope with your abuser?Sometimes it looks hopeless. Abusers... Read More

10 Red Flags In Dating Relationships

When starting a new relationship, many women (and men as... Read More

Everything I Know About Relationship Success I Learned At The Playground

It happened again!I was enjoying an evening with my little... Read More

Relationhip Advice: 10 Magic Words

Just about every night at our house, we read a... Read More