What Till Death Do Us Part REALLY Means - Divine Source through Barbara Rose

Let me address this issue of eternity, this promise many couples demand of each other and recite in standard wedding vows. Taken literally, this promise is broken more than it is kept. But "Till death do us part" can be interpreted differently.

In this phrase, "death" does not need to mean the end of physical life. It can mean the end of the couple's purpose for being together; once the purpose is fulfilled, the union no longer needs to continue.

Now that I have just shocked and mortified the majority of the human race, please allow me to explain further so you can have a clearer and deeper understanding.

When two people meet and grow in love, the purpose of their meeting is to help each other in a certain area, on a certain level of their lives. Now, I shall go into this in more detail in Chapter 4, Soul Mates. But here, I am not speaking of soul mates; I am speaking of those couples who find themselves in divorce court even though they once promised to be together for the remainder of their lives.

Of course there is nothing wrong with traditional marriage. It is a lovely concept. With all of the single parents in society today, however, this idea of "till death do us part" needs clarification.

How could you possibly promise something about a time that is decades away? How could you possibly be so sure that you and your partner will continue to grow together for the remainder of your lives and not grow apart? Why would you promise something you might not be able to fulfill?

Two people meet for a particular reason, a reason related to emotional growth or lessons to be learned to foster that growth so that they can become all they are meant to be, become who they really are, as opposed to their false perceptions of self.

Think about your own relationships or marriages. Was there one in which you felt so in love at first? And did you discover after a while that that particular partner had provided you with an opportunity for personal growth - an opportunity to awaken those aspects that had been dormant within you? And after you grew, did you still want that same person to remain as your partner?

Judging from the statistics on divorce in this country, my guess is that about half of the people reading this would answer "no." Someone entered your life; as a result of that relationship, you grew to be more of who you really are. When the relationship fulfilled its purpose, you no longer felt the need to remain together, so you went your separate ways.

But in many cases, two people are meant to share the remainder of their lives together; those are the couples who are still happily married decades later, and this is perfectly fine as well.

So, it is not that marriage is right or wrong, good or bad. It is a wonderful thing to be with one person for as long as the relationship is of mutual benefit, to help each other grow, to explore life, to engage your minds in new areas. But to remain together because of some recited obligation, long after you do not fit into each other's life, long after you have stopped growing and have no common purpose - that is the same as signing a contract with an employer stating, "I will work here, in this job, until death do us part. And no matter how my interests or life goals change, no matter how dissatisfied I am with this job, no matter how many other areas of my life I could fulfill if I were to have a different job, I will still stay with you as long as I live."

Does this make any sense at all? Of course not! Yet that is what couples do when they promise to remain together for the remainder of their lives. This is a ridiculous promise. In many cases it cannot and should not be fulfilled; in other cases it is wonderfully fulfilled.

Instead of promising to remain together forever, why not agree that you will be committed to each other as long as you can truly grow together, be there for each other, support each other's individual growth, be a true friend to each other, and as long as your union serves your highest good in all areas. Agree that if you grow apart, if your goals, perspectives, lifestyles, desires, purpose, interests, or intellectual and spiritual growth takes you each on a different path, then you will honor the other's path just as you honor your own. And you will separate for the good of both of you.

You deserve a partner who is truly your friend. Why should you sacrifice your entire life to remain with someone who deadens your senses rather than encouraging all of your senses to come alive? Just because you made a promise at an altar does not mean you have to keep that promise at the cost of your individual growth, self-worth, self-respect, and self-esteem, or your potential, goals, dreams, aspirations, and life purpose.

Marriage can be a wonderful thing; there is nothing intrinsically right or wrong with it. But - and this is a very large but - it is meant to last only as long as the purpose of both partners can be fulfilled. When that purpose - whether it be personal growth, having children, creating something together, learning how to relate - has run its course and the two parties truly become like strangers, it is time to part ways.

Now, this does not mean that when a couple experiences difficult times they should separate. No. Not at all. For to grow to understand, to reach beyond your comfort zone and grow to be your very best, both as an individual and as a couple takes work.

Rocky times are a challenge to be acknowledged, worked through, and resolved so you can experience deeper friendship, greater understanding, happier times, and higher levels of life experience together.

Do not think I am saying, "Oh, we disagree, so it's divorce time." No, absolutely not. What I am saying is that if you do not even recognize the person you are married to anymore, if both of you truly have grown and changed in so many areas, on so many levels that you share nothing in common anymore besides a mailing address, that is when the marriage has come to its natural finish. That is when it is time to part ways and to thank the other person for teaching you so much, for helping you grow to be more of who you really are. Throughout a separation and divorce you can display respect and gratitude for all you have learned and shared, and especially for all you have grown.

Honor your feelings. Trust your perceptions. Reach beyond your own desires to understand what the other is trying to communicate. Listen to their words, watch their actions, trust the feelings you pick up from them, and say it all out loud. Do not hold back. Be honest. Your pride is not as important as your personal truth, integrity, and happiness.

For if you place your pride above your personal truth, and you withhold your truth, you will find that you are ultimately alone, without the one you love and even without the love and support of your self. Holding back the real truth leads only to regret.

When you share your truth, even at the expense of your pride, at least you know you did your all. At least you do not live with regret.

Remember always and in all ways: Be true to yourself; be true to the other; dare to say how you feel; dare to express what you think; and dare to live, thrive, and grow, either alone or together. Either way, your desire to be all you can be, can be fulfilled only by honoring your truth and finding the love within to share that truth until death do you part from this life.

© Copyright by Barbara Rose. All Rights Reserved

The above is an excerpt from the book "Individual Power: Reclaiming Your Core, Your Truth, and Your Life." by Barbara Rose, Published by The Rose Group ISBN: 097414570X

Barbara Rose is an Internationally acclaimed public speaker, spiritual author of: "Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE" "If God Was Like Man"and "Individual Power: Reclaiming Your Core, Your Truth, and Your Life", founder of The Rose Group publishing company, inspire! Magazine, Institute of Higher Self Communication, and Rose Humanitarian Alliance.

She works in Divine Cooperation with others to uplift the spiritual consciousness of humanity. Through a Divine Spiritual gift she brings through information to create the highest vision of your life, and our world. Her internationally praised seminars, widely published articles, Higher Self Certification intensives, and Divinely Channeled private consultations have changed the lives of thousands across the globe.

For enlightening info, contacts, books, articles and resources to help you become your highest self, visit Barbara's website: http://www.borntoinspire.com

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Destroyers of Relationships

Communication and listening is very important in any relationship. For... Read More

Relationship Advice: 4 Ways to Handle an Unsolvable Relationship Problem

1) Leave the relationshipThis is the most common alternative chosen,... Read More

Relationship Arguments - 7 Ways to Heal Past Hurts

Q: I've read that you are never supposed to bring... Read More

Buying Underwear For The Woman In Your Life - The Golden Rules

There are two golden rules for choosing underwear for the... Read More

Relationship Advice: Safety, Intimacy, and Fun

When people come in for marriage counseling, they bring their... Read More

Is The Internet A Miracle Cure For Loneliness?

A few years ago a surprising survey discovered that people... Read More

Maybe Not Bones, But Hearts...And Worse: The Destructive Power of Simple Speech

Out of the blue, slap bang in the middle of... Read More

Importance Of Background In A Relationship

Should coming from the same background be a major issue... Read More

Passion Drought: Turning the Fizzle Back Into Sizzle In Your Relationship; Part 1

IntroductionMany gay men in both short and long-term relationships report... Read More

And They Didnt Even Know I was Looking: Lessons on Love from My Parents

I came from good people. I didn't always know that.You... Read More

Are Single Black Women Too Independent?

Are single black women too independent? Too sure of themselves,... Read More

Pay Attention! Mastering Communication Skills with Women

One of the biggest complaints women have about men is... Read More

Abusive Relationships

Abusive relationships are so painful that I often wonder why... Read More

Find Your Love as Early as Possible

Life is made of innumerable dots. Dots, which are part... Read More

How To Quickly Turn Platonic Friends into Lovers Using The New 5-Step Jealousy Technique

I'm going to get straight to the point. If you... Read More

Creative Visualizations for Love

To manifest love through creative visualization, you first need to... Read More

Relationship Advice: Warning Signs of an Emotional Affair

"But we're just friends" are four of the most dangerous... Read More

How to Ask for a Gratifying Sex Life

So your relationship has changed over the years since you... Read More

The Egoistic Friend

What are friends for and how can a friendship be... Read More

She Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Who Is Some Who Loves You?1. Someone who sees the... Read More

Love - Entrepreneur Style

For many of us, love has become a distant ideal.... Read More

Are You Looking for Ms. Right or Mr. Not so Wrong?

Do you want to find the "love of your life?"It's... Read More

Relationship Advice - 5 Sure Fire Ways to Mess Things Up

1) Stay committed to your "right to be right."Argue for... Read More

Aromatherapy : A Scent Away for Great Relationships

Is it possible that a scent can make you more... Read More

How Valentine?s Day Gifts Can Expose a Cheating Husband

If you have the nagging feeling that your husband may... Read More

Rekindling An Old Flame

Dr. Nancy Kalish, a psychology professor at California State University,... Read More

Revenge ? Serve It Cold!

Whether you caught him in bed with the local bimbo,... Read More

Moving On to Much Better Things After Leaving an Abusive Relationship

Leaving an abusive relationship is difficult, but being alone can... Read More

Getting an Exciting Life After a Break Up

Breaking up.The End. The journey is over. You feel rejected.... Read More

Are You Ready to Handle an Indigo Child?

So what's new in the world of spirituality and the... Read More

Relationship Advice for Women - Beyond the Happy Ending - Part 1 The Nothing Syndrome

We've all heard the stories. The princess finds her prince... Read More

Is Your Soulmate an Idiot?

Lately, I think people are investing too much energy in... Read More

How To Seduce A Woman The Right Way

Gentlemen, if you really want to seduce a woman the... Read More