What is domestic abuse?
There are many forms of domestic abuse, ranging from screaming threats to pushing and shoving. Contrary to what many women think, abuse isn't just physical battering.
Domestic abuse may include emotional abuse, economic abuse, sexual abuse, using children, threats, using male privilege, intimidation, isolation and a variety of other behaviors used to maintain fear, intimidation and power. In all cultures, the perpetrators are most commonly the men of the family. Nearly one in three adult women experiences at least one physical assault by a partner during adulthood, according to the American Psychological Association in a 1996 report.
Domestic abuse does not discriminate against race, age and socioeconomic background. No specific type of woman is more prone to being battered by her partner, nor is one type of woman completely safe from abuse.
What Victims of Domestic Violence Need to Know?
Signs of Domestic Abuse
Acts of domestic violence generally fall into one or more of these categories:
If you have been assaulted, you can report it to the police.
The Criminal Code says that assault is a criminal offence. The Code describes three types of assault and sets maximum penalties (called sentences) for each type.
The three types of assault are:
Warning signs of an Abusive Relationship
There may be many other warning signs; you can phone the nearest Woman's Shelter for further information.
Do something before it's too late!
In your contact with any family member, the following observations should be considered clues to the possibility of wife assault. A history of wife assault or child abuse in his family of origin. A suspicion of child abuse or sexual abuse in his role as a father. Abuse of drugs or alcohol.
A history of suicidal thoughts or suicide attempts.
Such characteristics as:
What do we know about abusers?
Preparing to Leave
Getting Out
What to do when leaving an abusive relationship?
If you are contemplating leaving an abusive relationship, there are some things you should do that may assist you in the process of leaving:
Make a safety plan
Make an Escape Plan
What can you do if you have been abused?
You can, and you should talk to someone about the abuse. You can tell a family member, a friend, or your doctor. You can also talk to a support group in your community. Women's centers and legal aid offices may be able to tell you of other services which offer help.
You can get medical help - if you have been hurt you can go to your doctor or to the Emergency Department at a hospital. If your injuries are visible you can have pictures taken. They can be used in court should you decide to lay assault charges. There are special medical and police procedures for sexual assault cases. For more information, check the Sexual Assault Department and the law in your country.
You can apply for a peace bond (in the countries where this system exist)
A peace bond or 'recognizance' is a paper signed by a person (such as a spouse) promising to keep the peace and be of good behavior. The peace bond may have other conditions such as requiring the person to stay away from your home or place of work. A peace bond may last for up to one year. The judge decides how long it will last.
You have to go to court to get a peace bond. You do not have to be assaulted to apply nor do you have to lay assault charges. You do have to convince the judge that you have a reasonable fear of the offender. The offender will also be in court.
Finding a Place To Go
When an assault occurs you should attempt to protect yourself. One way you might do this is to leave the home. If you don't have a friend or family member with whom you can safely stay, and cannot afford a motel, there are shelters in your country which will accommodate you in an emergency. The RCMP or the police, if requested, will escort you out of the family home to any safe place you specify.
If there are no shelters for you in the vicinity, the Salvation Army may be able to provide temporary assistance. It might also be worthwhile to check with the local Crisis Line or Help Line which may be able to provide a list of the organizations that can help during a crisis.
National Domestic Violence/Abuse Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE 1-800-799-7233 1-800-787-3224 TDD 24-hour-a-day hotline staffed by trained counselors ready to provide immediate crisis intervention assistance to those in need. Callers can be connected directly to help in their communities, including emergency services and shelters as well as receive information and referrals, counseling and assistance in reporting abuse. This is a vital lifeline to anyone - man, woman or child - who is a survivor of domestic violence, or who suspects that someone they know may be the victim of abuse. Calls to the hotline are confidential, and callers may remain anonymous if they wish.
On Olga Timbol's web site First Home Security you can find self defense tips and tehniques for women, as well as products to help protect yourself and your loved ones.
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