Making Passion More Passionate

Somewhere between the first kiss and growing old together, many couples experience dormant growth phases during their relationship, leaving one, if not both partners with a need for greater input, emotionally and/or physically.

The process of emotional growth is both independent, and uncomfortable. To ideally maintain and promote harmony, each partner must be willing to flex with the growth needs of the other, while also contributing to the growth of the relationship.

A long-lasting relationship is founded on compassion, respect, and genuine love for your partner. These qualities can ? and should ? be frequently expressed in a number of ways, to reaffirm the value of the relationship. Continuously seeking to re-invent the relationship by expressing appreciation for your partner will solidify the connection between you.

To nudge your relationship out of the proverbial emotional drought, here is a list of suggestions for adding more passion into your relationship:

1. Reality check your partner. Before doing anything to encourage the relationship, ask yourself if your partner is good for you, and why. Know the basic answers like the back of your hand. If you find yourself unable or unwilling to admit value in your partner, you may be in the wrong relationship.

2. Acknowledge the uniqueness of the relationship through your partner. There is potential in every moment to experience the greatest point of your relationship. Showing appreciation for your partner's uniqueness further defines the relationship based on a broader attraction. Communicate the acknowledgement of individuality of your partner frequently, both emotionally and physically.

3. Make love right now. Allow the sexual aspect of your relationship to evolve into an activity of ultimate fulfillment, reserved only for your partner. Instead of making love for your satisfaction, make love for your partner, and allow them to do the same for you.

4. Be friends, too. Would you be friends with your partner, outside of the relationship? If you find the answer is "no," don't worry ? there's always time to make new friends. Identify activities you and your partner can do and enjoy together. Participate in a third-party project, such as charity work. Activities beyond intimacy will broaden, and therefore strengthen, the foundation of your relationship.

5. Be what you want to see. Demand no more out of your partner than what you are willing to make out of life yourself. If you are capable of great things ? and you are ? then get to work. Be certain to test all seemingly realistic requirements on yourself, before seeking to ask them of your partner.

6. Form a pact to achieve excellence in some way. Whether it be a physical health regimen, a bowling tournament, doing the taxes, or managing a business together, forming a pact to achieve excellence in a specific, tangible way will build trust between partners. Commitment to a short-term goal is the best exercise a relationship can get.

7. Love with your whole heart. All too many times, past relationships keep us from loving with our whole heart. If your relationship reality check is solid, ask yourself how you've been holding back on your partner, and why. Do you expect criticism, instead of acceptance? Recognize the boundaries of your love, and identify positive ways to expand them daily.

8. Improving yourself improves the relationship. Self enrichment is an effective, important means of perpetual contribution to your relationship. Expanding your personal knowledge and interests will keep conversations interesting and generate new ideas for growing together, through new activities and experiences shared between partners.

Remember, there's nothing wrong with taking care of you. The more you have to give, the more there will be to share with your significant other.

9. Explore diversity in faith, culture, or politics. Diversity ? and its acceptance ? serve as a cornerstone of any fulfilling, long-lasting relationship. Your partner is likely to embrace at least some perspectives different than your own with regard to religion, culture, or political affiliation. Look to explore your partner's diversity, and openly accept the differences that make you both unique.

10. Don't go to bed mad. Make it a point to resolve differences before going to bed. Allowing arguments or heated discussions to fester overnight can solidify emotions, while leaving the real issues behind. In addition to promoting communication and relationship stability, addressing differences before bed reduces stress and promotes better sleep.

A meaningful, fulfilling relationship is perhaps the greatest investment you can make in both yourself, and your partner. As your relationship grows, look for new ways to interact with each other as you haven't before. Each human represents a vast Universe of knowledge and emotion waiting for exploration by just one individual with the unwavering desire, patience, and capacity to know them.

Jim D. Ray is a parapsychologist with a diverse background in multiple subject concentrations, including business, psychology and parapsychology, criminal justice, philosophy, education, internet technology, physics, and vocal performance arts. Jim can be reached by e-mail at: jray@web-presence.net.

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Five Easy Steps to Creating Your Dream Relationship

Millions of singles across the world are looking to create... Read More

What Keeps Couples Together

There are several things you can do, especially when your... Read More

Relationship Advice: Closeness and Connection

In my work with couples, certain themes have emerged that... Read More

Why We Chose The Person We Love

"Those who do not remember the past are condemned to... Read More

Great Relationship Advice: Declaration or Demonstration

Q: Could you help us settle a growing conflict in... Read More

Sad Scientific Facts About Love

Disaster results when we see women trying to change a... Read More

Make Time for Your Relationship

"We don't have to wait till Valentine's Day to think... Read More

Holy Mantrimony

In the last couple of weeks, the catholic war machine... Read More

Slaying The Green Eyed Monster

He hasn't called in hours. You call and get the... Read More

Keep the Fires Burning

The toys are put away, homework's done and the kids... Read More

Relationship Advice: Grieving Before Going On

Q. I got married for the first time when I... Read More

Relationship Reality: Are Your Relationships Based In Reality or Fantasy?

Within the next two to three minutes, you will uncover... Read More

And They Didnt Even Know I was Looking: Lessons on Love from My Parents

I came from good people. I didn't always know that.You... Read More

Great Relationships - 3 Things to Avoid, 3 Things to Do

"Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he... Read More

Catch A Cheating Husband the Easy Affordable Way

Many women mistakenly believe they need to hire a private... Read More

Why Some Women Are Desperate

I asked Dave how he was doing since it was... Read More

Loves All About Chemistry

People who have been swept off their feet know the... Read More

Great Relationship Advice: The Ability to Communicate

In my workshops with couples, I start with this question:"How... Read More

What?s Special About Abused Women?

Before writing this article, I stopped and thought hard. By... Read More

Feel Like a (Romantic) Kid Again

If the start of the school year makes you a... Read More

The Womans Guide to Younger Men

I often awake to find Beverly, my older wife, wrapped... Read More

All About Soul Mates

1. How do I know when I've met my Soul... Read More

Unfaithfulness

AS I STARED at the sunset, I marveled at its... Read More

A Gift From the Heart of a Friend

She stares at me and then closes her eyes. A... Read More

Why Anger is Essential to Healthy Relationships

Many of us have some very definite ideas about anger.... Read More

After Retirement Separation - Life Just Gets Better!

Life after retirement separation can be a very lonely one... Read More

Don?t Snuff Out Expressions of Liking

It is hard to express all the emotions to somebody... Read More

The Ancient Wisdom of Matchmaking & Loving Y.O.U.

"Know Thyself" PlatoIsn't it curious how just about everything in... Read More

Relationship Advice: A Tip from Monica and Chandler of Friends

If you are looking for it, you can find relationship... Read More

What Type of a Kisser Are You?

As we all know, there are many types of kiss.... Read More

Romantic Relationships: An Internal Process

If you grew up in the 80s like I did,... Read More

Relationship Advice - How to Get Out and Stay Out of Relationships Ruts

"The only difference between a rut and a grave are... Read More

Long Distance Love

Before the advent of the internet, long-distance relationships were rare.... Read More