1) Think short term.
Many people enter marriage with the same mindset they have when buying a car. A car is designed with something called "planned obsolescence" in mind. You know that one day it will wear out and you will need to get another one. Entering marriage with this mindset just about guarantees failure.
Smarter move: Go into marriage with a strong sense of commitment. Not just to "stick it out." Commit to having the best possible marriage and to the growth of the other person.
2)Assume you already know all you need to know.
When I got married 10 years ago, I had a degree and license on my wall that said I was a marriage therapist. So I assumed I knew all I needed to know about how to have a good marriage. Boy, was I ever wrong.
I'm grateful I've learned a lot in the last 10 years. I hope my wife and clients are too. Think of it this way _ how successful would you be on your current job if you assumed you knew all you needed to know and were resistant to learning or changing? Your job would not be a great place. The same applies to marriage.
Smarter move: Never in the history of couplehood has there been greater access to information about marriage, men, women, relationships, communication, and how to love someone. Read a book, hire a coach, go to a seminar, take advantage of all the help that is out there.
3) Turn every issue into a battle for control.
This one is really dumb and very, very common. I have actually had couples in my office - I'm not making this up - fighting over the proper way to hang the toilet paper. It's almost as if there is a scorecard somewhere, perhaps on the fridge, keeping track of who wins the most battles. My question is, what is it that you win?
Smarter move: Pick your battles. Instead of fighting for my way at all costs, work hard and creatively for designing "our way" of doing things.
Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for more tips and tools for a great relationship, including a free 10 day e-program on improving your relationship today.
The focus of this article is to explore what it... Read More
So you're sitting there on the phone, trying to talk... Read More
One of my favorite comic strips growing up was "The... Read More
So often when we begin to enter into a new... Read More
So, tonight's the night. You want to have a Romantic... Read More
Honestly, I do not know anyone who is romantic nowadays... Read More
Coping with a new culture has never been the easiest... Read More
Somewhere between the first kiss and growing old together, many... Read More
While doing my search for this idea, I came across... Read More
You hate it, but it's happened ? the love of... Read More
Sometimes when a relationship has gone sour, our efforts are... Read More
WHAT IS COMMITMENT?The question of when a relationship is committed... Read More
Whether you are single or married, we all need luck... Read More
The interesting thing about getting the love you deserve is... Read More
Something in my life is weighing heavily on my mind,... Read More
Should you spy on your cheating husband or wife? You... Read More
You might ask yourself, I have heard this word boundary,... Read More
The focus of many of the last few articles has... Read More
Recovering from an affair is hard work and will take... Read More
Many of us stumble into marriage and then continue to... Read More
As a single male in my mid-twenties, I find myself... Read More
If you have looked high and low, left and right... Read More
So often when we think of our ideal mate we... Read More
The swinging lifestyle does not discriminate against race, body type,... Read More
Do you have people in your life that p? (make... Read More
Parents and loved ones always seem to put a damper... Read More
While this may not apply to everyone, you may find... Read More
Men wanted desperately, it's official. The increasing surplus of high... Read More
As a somewhat older gentleman (but still fairly good looking... Read More
We all enter relationships hoping they will make us happy.... Read More
How do you know when it's time to say goodbye... Read More
Caution is a word with a fine old-fashioned ring. The... Read More
What is supposed to be the most romantic day of... Read More
There is one sure fire medicine that cures all difficulty... Read More
What is Chemical Romance? It's a scientific approach to seduction... Read More
Body Language can tell you a lot about what is... Read More
Divorce happens. I'm not going to debate the causes or... Read More
It doesn't matter how old we are, matters of the... Read More
According to new studies 5 out of 10 marriages will... Read More
With a divorce rate in this country that approaches 50%,... Read More
Q. It's been over a year since the guy I... Read More
Women are simply wonderful don't you think? This question is... Read More
There is an old expression, which may sound trite, but... Read More
Ever since the women's movement began, women have empowered themselves... Read More
We've all heard the stories. The princess finds her prince... Read More
Actually, it's pretty simple. Deep inside the heart of every... Read More
About a year ago, I was talking to a friend... Read More
Is there someone close to you who has an annoying... Read More
Like a great game of poker, knowing when to "Hold... Read More
The first step in using feng shui to attract a... Read More
Do you know what the definition of love is? This... Read More
Breakups can be painful and difficult on so many difficult... Read More
Eventually, we'll all either play or be played. I'd like... Read More
It is surprising how many writers, psychologists, or scientists have... Read More
BackgroundSeduction is a subtle tool used with the ultimate goal... Read More
If you have looked high and low, left and right... Read More
Getting married (or beginning an intimate relationship) is, in a... Read More
One thing to keep in mind when seeking relationship advice... Read More
Men and women think differently about romance.Men are goal-oriented. They... Read More
I have written this article by request but want to... Read More
A genuine apology contains at least four elements: apology, acknowledgment,... Read More
If you're asking yourself that question, then somewhere within you... Read More
Domestic violence the catch phrase for the past ten years.... Read More
A man walking through the woods near a river hears... Read More
Destructive communication erodes self-esteem and harms relationships. Such communication patterns... Read More
Are Office Romance's really that bad? The answer is ?..it... Read More
Relationship |