Relationship Advice: 10 Ways to Prevent a Break Up

The question I am asked most often is: I think he/she is getting ready to leave me. What do I do? There isn't an easy answer for this or there wouldn't be any break ups. Every situation is different and sometimes breakups are inevitable. However this is not always the case and there are things you can do before you reach the breaking point that will help.

Here are the 10 most important things:

  • Communicate. Communication is important. If you find that when you try to communicate your feelings to your partner it always leads to an argument, try writing your feelings down. Read through what you've written. If you find things that are just petty problems with no real validity, eliminate them. Try to find the sources behind your words. For example, jealousy, are you jealous because you know he/she is cheating, or does it go deeper? Did someone cheat on you in the past and now you don't trust anyone? Is your partner giving you what you need to feel secure? Once you realize where the feelings are coming from, you can address fixing the problem.
  • Resist making accusations. Approach your partner calmly, without being defensive. Tell him/her the problem. Don't be accusing or they will become defensive and yes, you will end up in an argument. If you find it's easier to write it in a letter, then do so. Leave while they read it so you aren't hovering over them, waiting for their reaction. Let them process what you have said. Again, do not be accusing. Tell them you want to make your relationship better. Have suggestions for BOTH of you, not just them. Be sure you know the core problem and aren't just mentioning a symptom.
  • Refrain from insulting your partner during arguments. Fighting dirty can quickly become a habit and eventually someone will say something that the other person cannot forget, or worse, forgive.
  • Take time to tell your partner why you love him/her. Not once, but often. This can be something as small as a compliment on how they look. Your partner needs to know you appreciate them. Don't just assume they know. Everyone likes to be reminded they are loved.
  • Be supportive and look for ways to give your partner the things they need the most. Even if they don't tell you what they need, you can figure it out if you pay attention. Some people have a hard time telling you what they need but there are clues. If you're not sure, ask.
  • Don't neglect yourself. If your needs aren't being met, find a way to let your partner know. If you are unhappy, you will eventually blame your partner. It's much easier to let them know, in a positive way, the things you need.
  • Never try to solve a problem when you are angry. Take time to cool down. I know this can seem impossible at times but think about it. Is anything ever really solved when you are yelling at each other?
  • Set aside some time for just the two of you. If not once a week, then at least once a month. This should be quality, alone time, however you two choose to spend it. You might try arranging a specific day each week and take turns planning what you will do.
  • Discuss decisions that affect the both of you and try to find a solution that will keep you both happy. Never make an important decision that affects you both without talking to your partner.
  • Don't Lie! Everyone lies occasionally. It's in our nature. This isn't an excuse to lie to your partner. Every time you are caught in a lie, a little more trust is taken away. A healthy relationship requires trust. Never ever lie about things important to the relationship. You're better off facing the music if you've done something wrong then being caught in a lie.
  • This won't keep you together but it is important to mention. Know when it's time to leave and make the break. Don't let anyone use you or abuse you. Most problems can be worked out if both people in the relationship make an effort to improve things. There are some exceptions. It's time to leave if the relationship becomes abusive. Do not hope things will get better because he/she says they will change. Leave! If at some future time they actually do change, you can consider getting back together then. Another deal breaker is infidelity. If your partner cheats on you, there is a good chance that even if you do stay together, the trust that keeps a relationship alive will be gone. I'm not saying you can't survive it, but it will take a great deal of effort from both people and your partner will have to stop. Never give them more than one chance to do so or you will be setting yourself up for a very destructive emotional roller coaster. If your partner sees that it's possible to cheat and you will keep forgiving, why would they change?

    • ©2005 Patricia Fason

    Patricia Fason is a writer and poet whose main focus is relationships. For more articles on relationships visit her website dedicated to romance, Sites O Web Romances You. There you will find articles, poetry, romance tips, romantic gifts and much more.

    In The News:

    pen paper and inkwell


    cat break through


    Relationship Arguments - 7 Ways to Heal Past Hurts

    Q: I've read that you are never supposed to bring... Read More

    Picking Up The Pieces

    "My feelings have changed," my boyfriend of five years told... Read More

    Your Next Argument: 10 Thngs to Consider Before You Get There

    1. It's addictive. Fighting, and the anger that comes with... Read More

    Relationship Advice: 10 Tips for a Blissful Relationship

    1.Often in marriage, especially in the early years, there is... Read More

    You are Killing US with YOUR Jealousy

    Hey all, I feel that need to reach out and... Read More

    Relationship Tips: 16 Practical Dramatic Ways to Know if He/She is REALLY Changing

    Every relationship hits a snag, or worse, a major crisis... Read More

    Relationship Advice - 5 Sure Fire Ways to Mess Things Up

    1) Stay committed to your "right to be right."Argue for... Read More

    The Spiritual Connection of True Romance

    In the springtime, with the flowers budding and the birds... Read More

    Holy Mantrimony

    In the last couple of weeks, the catholic war machine... Read More

    You Have to Probe Deeper: Why First Impressions Are Dangerous

    Do you remember when, as a small child at a... Read More

    Buying Underwear For The Woman In Your Life - The Golden Rules

    There are two golden rules for choosing underwear for the... Read More

    Soul Mate Myths

    But the cold truth is that most people have never... Read More

    Women and Men: Never The Twain Shall Meet

    "Dear Happy Guy,"I just don't understand men. Last night I... Read More

    Lovers Quarrel

    One minute you seem like lovesick turtledoves teasing, laughing and... Read More

    Why Anger is Essential to Healthy Relationships

    Many of us have some very definite ideas about anger.... Read More

    Love Problems

    Often times when a couple gets married, things get pushed... Read More

    Trust Starts with You

    "I have a hard time trusting people.""I never feel like... Read More

    The Wrong Kind of Love

    A lot of people have the wrong kind of love... Read More

    27 Characteristics of Loving Men

    Every woman dreams of meeting that special man that knows... Read More

    Will They or Will They Not Cheat?

    Have you ever told your partner or spouse how you... Read More

    Authentic Relationships - 5-Question Exercise to Explore How You Show Up In Relationship

    The focus of this article is to explore what it... Read More

    I Have A Secret to Share

    Dear Candace,I have been through a lot over the last... Read More

    Creative Visualizations for Love

    To manifest love through creative visualization, you first need to... Read More

    When Are You Ready to Move onto a New Relationship?

    Breakups can be painful and difficult on so many difficult... Read More

    How To Save Your Marriage

    Getting married (or beginning an intimate relationship) is, in a... Read More

    Friends and Friendship - Who are Friends, What is Friendship

    A friend loves at all times, and a brother is... Read More

    Relationship Advice: How to Make a Genuine Apology

    A genuine apology contains at least four elements: apology, acknowledgment,... Read More

    Rhubarb Romance: A Little Honey Works Wonders

    Spring is in the air. It is a time of... Read More

    Honesty Accepted - Deception Denied

    We've all done it at one time or another, or... Read More

    Flirting For A Long-Term Relationship

    Have you ever wondered why we flirt? I mean, we've... Read More

    You CAN Improve Your Relationship

    It seems as if creating successful relationships with our significant... Read More

    Getting Out... Together

    So many things in society today try to urge us... Read More

    Great Relationships: Checkbook Battles and How to Solve Them

    "You can't hold on to a dime. Do you own... Read More