Affairs: What an Affair Really Is and What an Affair Really Does

We hear about it all the time - in magazines, on TV and among our friends:

Someone else has had an affair and a marriage is falling apart.

Our culture teaches that an affair is just something that happens in relationships, it's really not big deal.

When we hear about this so often, we can become a little calloused to what it really means. We're numb to the reality of promises broken, marriages crashing, kids being crushed and families coming apart.

I believe that the term "affair" contributes to the blase attitude we sometimes take. Affair sounds like an event to enjoy, as in "the party was a grand affair."

Straying outside your marriage is not an affair. It's adultery. It's really marital treason.

Few people wake up one morning and decide it's the day they are going to have an affair. These things usually start gradually and then spin out of control.

For this discussion, we are talking about a one-time affair, not the kind of relationship where people are constantly having affairs.

Since adultery is all about breaking trust, recovery is all about rebuilding trust. While rebuilding trust is possible, it can take a long time, and can require a great amount of work.

The good news is that it can be worth it, when you build a stronger relationship than you had before.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e special report on the 10 Warning Signs of an Emotional Affair from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

---

Catch a Cheating Lover?

Relationships. Virtually all of us are in one, or at... Read More

Relationship Advice: 10 Tips for a Blissful Relationship

1.Often in marriage, especially in the early years, there is... Read More

Men Love Women Who Initiate Sex ? 4 Fun Ways to Do It

This is a sizzling hot topic for a lot of... Read More

Are you (or are you with) a Commitment-Phobe?

We hear it all the time. "He just won't make... Read More

Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 2

The first step toward being able to attract and create... Read More

10 Red Flags In Dating Relationships

When starting a new relationship, many women (and men as... Read More

A Diamond Anniversary Ring ? The Perfect Way To Seal Your Love

Some time ago you both made a promise. A promise... Read More

Unprofessional Conduct

Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 14,... Read More

Prince Charles and Camilla - The Greatest Love Story Of Our Time

Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles have loved each other... Read More

Dumped? Get Set for a New Life

Welcome to Dumpsville. Population - you!You've been dumped for a... Read More

Tips For Proper Kissing Etiquette!

Many cultures have customary kissing etiquettes. The French for instance... Read More

The Sting of Infidelity Isnt that Bad! Right? Is it?

1. Sleepless nights are part of a victims' experience... Read More

To Hold or to Set One Free!

Hope you all are doing well and enjoying great health.... Read More

If He Insists That You Work...

Once, when asked about her life, former First Lady Barbara... Read More

How To Slay The Toxic Dragon In Your Life

How To "Slay The Dragon" In Your Life In Five... Read More

How To Tell If Someone You Meet In An Online Profile Or Advert Is Married/Partnered Or A Troll - 3

Liar, Liar! Pants On Fire!Today, you'll learn about 2 yellow-flag... Read More

How to Use Humor to Improve Your Relationships

Humor has long been considered one of the most effective... Read More

Lobster - The Food Of Romantics

Summer has arrived! Woo-Hoo! Do you know what always comes... Read More

The Simple Facts About Falling In Love

We are meant to live a life of love. However,... Read More

10 Crucial and Surprising Steps to Build Trust in a Relationship

1. Be predictable.When do seeds of suspicion emerge? When one... Read More

A Kiss is Never Just a Kiss!

"Kiss: a secret told to the mouth instead of to... Read More

How to Get a Woman to Treat You the Way You Deserve

You know the scenario. You start dating a woman. After... Read More

When Someone You Love is Moving

Your best friend moves a thousand miles, your aunt retires... Read More

Did He Think of Me?

As a betrayed partner this was one of the first... Read More

Relationship Problems Begin With Poor Communication

Many relationship problems often begin with poor communication. Many couples... Read More

Playful, Innocent Phone Sex

So you're sitting there on the phone, trying to talk... Read More

How Love Dies: Spot the Symptoms Now, and Get Your Love Back on Track

Are you starting to feel that your man has changed... Read More

Can This Relationship Be Helped?

I have been counseling couples for 35 years. Quite often... Read More

9 Myths About Being Single

More than 48% of US households are headed by unmarried... Read More

Whats The Attraction?

Why do people have affairs? Why not do the 'right'... Read More

The Big Secret of Age

Think back to when you were a child. Pick a... Read More

Victorias Secret Disclosed!

SHHHHHH, don't tell anybody, but, I know the secret.It all... Read More

Calming the Storm In Your Relationship

IntroductionConflict in relationships is inevitable. Put two men together with... Read More