In my family law practice, one of the most common things I hear over and over from clients who have just had the law explained to them is, "I wish I had known that a long time ago!" Or, "If only I had known that before (whatever) happened."
People entering any form of long-term relationship, whether married, domestic partners, or just living together, are typically unaware that their relationship to each other--and to third parties, like creditors or government agencies--are defined and governed by rules of law, often in ways they did not expect or would not have agreed to had they known. They are not aware of what can happen when events force these rules into play.
Another surprise is that new laws can come along at any time and change your legal relationship in significant ways without you knowing or agreeing to it. And that's nothing compared to what can happen when you move to another state. Rights and duties that you might or might not have been aware of will suddenly become entirely different. Law books are filled with the cases of unhappy people who found out after the fact that things were not as they had thought or wished.
Here are two more things that couples should know. First, couples can make written agreements that change the rules of their relationship to suit their own needs and preferences. And, second, a relationship agreement can be a positive and constructive thing that reinforces your commitment to one another and creates a foundation for working out problems that might arise in the future, possibly saving your relationship.
It is much better if you do not wait in ignorance for some defining event to spring up and force the rules to your attention. I encourage every couple to know where they stand and learn how and to what extent they can tailor their legal relationship to more closely suit their personal wishes.
Above all, I recommend that every couple enter into a basic Couples Contract and give themselves the invaluable advantages that can be had just for spending a little effort to do it.
Your legal relationships have already been defined
If you are in a long-term relationship and do not have an enforceable written agreement, rules of law define and govern the following important features of your relationship:
You have a choice: accept the rules imposed by the law, or tailor the terms of your relationship in a written agreement to better suit your needs and preferences. You can learn more at www.nolocouples.com.
Copyright 2005 Ed Sherman
Ed Sherman is a family law attorney, award-winning author, and founder of Nolo Press. He started the self-help law movement in 1971 when he published the first edition of How to Do Your Own Divorce, and founded the paralegal industry in 1973. In his latest book, featuring the Couples Contract, Ed applies what he has learned from years of experience to help couples protect and preserve their relationship. You can order his books from http://www.nolocouples.com or by calling (800) 464-5502.
Buying lingerie for your lover can be one of the... Read More
Parents and loved ones always seem to put a damper... Read More
A genuine apology contains at least four elements: apology, acknowledgment,... Read More
Just think of being in front of a warm cracking... Read More
"The truth that makes men free is for the most... Read More
"I just let him handle things his way." "We're not... Read More
Are you starting to feel that your man has changed... Read More
One of the very worst mistakes a man can make... Read More
Everyone has something they'd like to change in their partner.... Read More
Communication and listening is very important in any relationship. For... Read More
Whether you do the dumping or you are the one... Read More
Remember the Tom Cruise movie "Jerry Maguire?"From my seat in... Read More
1. Your spouse or partner spends excess time on-line. Who... Read More
Somewhere between the first kiss and growing old together, many... Read More
So you're sitting there on the phone, trying to talk... Read More
Leaving an abusive relationship is difficult, but being alone can... Read More
A strong, healthy relationship is one in which the partners... Read More
What is Chemical Romance? It's a scientific approach to seduction... Read More
When you spy on your suspected cheating spouse, please make... Read More
Are You A 'Hopium Addict?'If the question alone was enough... Read More
Do you want to put to rest the people and... Read More
In my relationship work, this question is probably the one... Read More
How many of you have ever been involved with a... Read More
Think back to when you were a child. Pick a... Read More
It happened again!I was enjoying an evening with my little... Read More
One of the biggest complaints women have about men is... Read More
It doesn't matter how old we are, matters of the... Read More
'Be yourself', isn't that what you've always heard? It certainly... Read More
Is it possible that a scent can make you more... Read More
The Relationship TriangleMost people get involved in a relationship for... Read More
While this may not apply to everyone, you may find... Read More
1.Often in marriage, especially in the early years, there is... Read More
It's all about relationships! proclaimed my father during our recent... Read More
Anchoring is an NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) term used to describe... Read More
AS I STARED at the sunset, I marveled at its... Read More
I cannot tell you how many times I have heard... Read More
Nearly everyone claims to want a great relationship with their... Read More
It seems that no matter how much we love someone,... Read More
Today I received a question from a guy. Here is... Read More
Having a penpal can be fun; bringing diversity into your... Read More
You are in love and it feels wonderful. This love... Read More
is the most important question you'll ever ask yourself. Let's... Read More
Before the advent of the internet, long-distance relationships were rare.... Read More
Who Is Some Who Loves You?1. Someone who sees the... Read More
Honestly, I do not know anyone who is romantic nowadays... Read More
The first thing you want to consider when buying a... Read More
You know I am getting fed up with people who... Read More
>1. Who are the prime candidates to rekindle a romance?The... Read More
In this article I'd like to share what the research... Read More
We've all had relationships that we've looked back on and... Read More
Remember the Tom Cruise movie "Jerry Maguire?"From my seat in... Read More
Visit the dating sites.If finding love online is what you're... Read More
Why do people have affairs? Why not do the 'right'... Read More
There are three kinds of love:love as a feeling, love... Read More
We used to joke amongst the couples we are close... Read More
1. The Perfect Phase is the first three months. If... Read More
People who experience bad health often have major league forgiveness... Read More
There are approximately 2 million men in the prison system... Read More
Everything in life, in order to be a success, requires... Read More
Are you getting the love you deserve? Are you being... Read More
Work. Bills. Kids. Chores.Etc.All these things get in the way... Read More
The problem with choosing a dating service is choice --... Read More
Many women mistakenly believe they need to hire a private... Read More
"You can't hold on to a dime. Do you own... Read More
Relationships. They're complicated, right? At least that's what we've been... Read More
This is one of the most difficult parts of a... Read More
Relationship |