A Friend in Need

Here's the scenario: Julie, a hardworking secretary, lent money to her good friend Ray; $1300 to be exact. Ray had just moved to a new town and claimed that he needed two new suits: one for an upcoming wedding and one to wear on job interviews. Ray lived in a beautiful penthouse. He had a degree in Computer Science and was accustomed to the finer things in life ? designer labels, frequent travel, and spa week-ends. When Ray told Julie he would repay her and signed a paper promising to do so, Julie didn't think anything of it.

A couple of weeks later, Ray tried to hit Julie up for more money; this time to furnish his new home. When she told him that she wouldn't be able to help him out this time, he accused her of being cold and hung up the phone on her. Julie suddenly realized that she was being taken advantage of. Her hurt quickly turned to rage. She wanted to know how someone could be so self-serving and inconsiderate. If Julie had been weak enough to lend Ray another several hundred dollars for furniture, how could he sleep at night knowing that she had expenses of her own to look after?

We as women have an innate desire to nurture whenever possible. Many of us have learned the hard way we must always keep our guard up ? spot when we may be being misled or taken advantage of. It is a common belief that a woman who is eager to lend money to a man, suffers from niavity, desperation, or poor self-esteem. But in this case it was a loan not a gift, and a friendship not a romantic relationship.

We all know how risky it is to lend money to a friend of either sex. Some of us decide to give the lendee the benefit of the doubt because we think we know and trust them. Some of us are vigilant enough to take precautions to make the loan legally binding. The bottom line is that we need to stop stereo-typing and pointing fingers at a woman who would lend a man money. We need to take a closer look at the character of anyone who would try to take advantage of a friend's genourostity .

Along with her respect for him, Julie also lost all compassion for Ray and their so-called friendship deteriorated.? The fact of the matter is that no one can respect a man who fails to respect others. When he performs actions that are self-serving and manipulative, his sincerity, his honour, his integrity, are all called into question.

They say:

It's not what we eat but what we digest that makes us strong; not what we gain but what we save that makes us rich; not what we read but what we remember that makes us learned; and not what we profess but what we practice that gives us integrity.

Check out www.DenniGill.com for her personal collection of uplifting articles, parables, and poetry.

---

I Want to Love Him... But Hes So Far Away

Okay, who are we kidding. Long-distance relationships are not supposed... Read More

Friendship Advice for a Shrinking Planet

Ahh, friends. The people we pick up along the proverbial... Read More

My Life

My sister is 45 and having an affair with an... Read More

Essense of Infidelity

On one very popular web site there were 260 posts... Read More

Loving Without Losing Yourself!

You are in love and it feels wonderful. This love... Read More

Reading Each Others Mind

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard... Read More

How Do I Get Him or Her To Talk To Me?!!!

This is a common concern in our society for single... Read More

When Someone You Love is Moving

Your best friend moves a thousand miles, your aunt retires... Read More

Infidelity Excuse: I Fell Out of Love... and Just Love Being in Love

I find this dilemma rather common for younger couples, probably... Read More

How to Survive an Affair - Take Care!

Surviving an affair can be a very traumatic experience. Partners... Read More

Hunter and Gatherer

Deep down, we haven't evolved as much as we would... Read More

Affairs: What an Affair Really Is and What an Affair Really Does

We hear about it all the time - in magazines,... Read More

Link Romantic Feelings To The Sight Of Your Face

Anchoring is an NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) term used to describe... Read More

Is Your Negative Thinking Scaring Off Your Soul Mates?

Francine Bonnecelli* swore off relationships the day her husband of... Read More

How to Spot a Cheater

Is your man the cheating type? Here are some clues... Read More

Emotional Investments

It is a given truth that there are people out... Read More

When A Relationship Goes Bad

What do you do when a long term relationship goes... Read More

Love Advice: Are You Frozen in Time?

Falling in love is a process that one cannot stay... Read More

Great Relationships: Checkbook Battles and How to Solve Them

"You can't hold on to a dime. Do you own... Read More

Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 4

Finally, after all of the hard work you have done... Read More

Affairs: Advice for the One Who Strayed

To the spouse who had the affair, it's time for... Read More

How realistic are we?

So often when we think of our ideal mate we... Read More

Relationship Advice: 3 Kinds of Love

There are three kinds of love:love as a feeling, love... Read More

Women Are Not Aliens

One of the very worst mistakes a man can make... Read More

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

It's one of the ways you can spot a woman... Read More

How To Make Hooking Up With Your Ex More Thrilling Than It Ever Was Before!

Now I really have seen everything.The other day, I saw... Read More

Ten Tips to Play Together, and Stay Together: Lessons from the Teepee Turn-around

There is an old expression, which may sound trite, but... Read More

The 7 Stages of a Romantic Relationship

There are seven stages in a romantic relationship: avoidance, meeting,... Read More

Choosing a Diamond Engangement Ring That She Can?t Say No To!

So you've decided to propose ? congratulations! This is a... Read More

Engaged, In Love, and In Limbo

Well, here I am very much in love and starting... Read More

The Freedom to Fall

So you want a soulmate do you? Okay not necessarily... Read More

What is Abuse?

Violence in the family often follows other forms of more... Read More

What Does Relational Success Look Like? (Characteristics Of A Growing Relationship)

RELATIONAL SUCCESS...Loving in the good times -- and the not-so-good... Read More