1) Stay committed to your "right to be right."
Argue for your point of view, making sure you never entertain the possibility that your partner may have a valid point of view. If you ever do discover that you were wrong, make sure you don't admit it or apologize.
CoupleTips: Often in love relationships, there is a choice: you can be right or you can be happy, but not both. Choose wisely. As a friend of mine said after his first year of marriage: "I finally figured out that the sun will come up tomorrow if we do it her way."
2) Compete with your partner.
And there is so much over which to compete: who is right, who's in control, who's better at balancing the checkbook, who clicks the remote, etc.
CoupleTip: Learn the gentle art of cooperation. If you are going to compete, compete together to have the very best relationship that you can have.
3) Make it up as you go along.
Don't talk about any of the important stuff, like how you want to handle money, kids, the future, in-laws, savings, where to live, etc. Believe things will just work out.
CoupletTip: Talk about the important stuff. If you get stuck, find a relationship coach to help. Create a relationship vision by asking the question "if we could have it exactly like we want, how would it be?" Build from there.
4) Never forgive.
Hold fast to the myths about forgiveness:
>forgiving lets them off the hook
>forgiving condones what they did
>forgiving leaves me vulnerable for it to happen again.
Remain convinced that staying angry will actually help your partner change.
CoupleTip: Forgive as much or more than you would like to be forgiven. Forgiveness can release you from the pain of the offense.
5) Complain and Criticize.
A lot. Raise it to an art form. Make sure that each and every time your partner behaves like a human being and messes up, you not only throw the current issue in their face, you also bring up every mistake ever made, in detail.
CoupleTip: Celebrate what you want to see more of. Appreciation can go a long way.
Jeff Herring is a relationship coach, speaker and syndicated relationship columnist. For 100's more immediately useable CoupleTips Jeff invites you to visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com
I have been counseling couples for 35 years. Quite often... Read More
The Law of ContentYou can get into trouble in a... Read More
We've all heard the stories. The princess finds her prince... Read More
There are few desires (if any) stronger than the deep... Read More
Many women mistakenly believe they need to hire a private... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 7,... Read More
Domestic violence the catch phrase for the past ten years.... Read More
The Law of Connection: Spouses are either growing closer or... Read More
When we first meet someone, regardless of the way or... Read More
Your best friend moves a thousand miles, your aunt retires... Read More
The interesting thing about getting the love you deserve is... Read More
I recently came across this quote:"There is a time in... Read More
Even preteens have relationships that are important to them. In... Read More
Falling in love is a process that one cannot stay... Read More
Your dream is so beautiful and it is never to... Read More
The focus of many of the last few articles has... Read More
In recent years, thousands of young Russian and Ukrainian women... Read More
It is no secret that African culture is known for... Read More
The first thing you want to consider when buying a... Read More
Last week I had the easiest pick up and seduction... Read More
Q: Could you help us settle a growing conflict in... Read More
If the start of the school year makes you a... Read More
Many of us have had a broken heart and hurt... Read More
As a somewhat older gentleman (but still fairly good looking... Read More
Watching television's "sitcom's", I can't help but notice that most... Read More
Troll Detection Made EasyDue to their overwhelming lack of social... Read More
If men are from Mars and women are from Venus,... Read More
Having a girlfriend can be a dangerous thing. We become... Read More
Hamlet has given this generation an awfully amazing and defensive... Read More
Send flowers this Friendship Day, Sunday, August 7th! Across the... Read More
Surviving an affair can be a very traumatic experience. Partners... Read More
Finding your true Soul Mate is something that many people... Read More
Questions and Answers from Divine Source Through Barbara Rose1. What... Read More
Ask any single adult what qualities he or she wants... Read More
I'm going to get straight to the point. If you... Read More
Relationships. Virtually all of us are in one, or at... Read More
A relationship requires intimacy. I don't think anyone would argue... Read More
Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles have loved each other... Read More
Is your love relationship smooth? Have the both of you... Read More
The first thing you want to do is to get... Read More
Spring is in the air. It is a time of... Read More
While this may not apply to everyone, you may find... Read More
Finally, after all of the hard work you have done... Read More
Whether you do the dumping or you are the one... Read More
How do you react when you are faced with spending... Read More
"When we marry, we don't marry one person, we marry... Read More
Have you been blindsided by an unhappy spouse who suddenly... Read More
I am sick of the dating scene at 40. The... Read More
In this article I'd like to share what the research... Read More
1) Think short term.Many people enter marriage with the same... Read More
Mark Twain once saidGod's great cosmic joke on the human... Read More
Questions and Answers:I often feel sad in my relationship, what... Read More
People who have been swept off their feet know the... Read More
Extra-marital Affairs?Yes or No!!! (Think and Tell)"Human Relations", a complex... Read More
Stephen Covey in 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families says... Read More
How "powerful" are you?Do you ever cover up how you... Read More
Work. Bills. Kids. Chores.Etc.All these things get in the way... Read More
So you're sitting there on the phone, trying to talk... Read More
Chas and Dave wrote a song about it and how... Read More
Do you have people in your life that p? (make... Read More
Eleven o'clock on a weeknight I found myself phoning a... Read More
Romantic relationships happen because of the hopes and dreams a... Read More
There are seven stages in a romantic relationship: avoidance, meeting,... Read More
The word "deceive" is derived from Latin, de- away +... Read More
Emotionally healthy men and women almost always share their lives... Read More
Many of us stumble into marriage and then continue to... Read More
Relationship |