The 7 Stages of a Romantic Relationship

There are seven stages in a romantic relationship: avoidance, meeting, dating, breaking up, establishing exclusivity, commitment, and keeping the love you find. Each of these stages vary in length and intensity. At each stage, there are thoughts and feelings telling you what to do and when to do it. You need to learn to listen to your intuition in each stage, so that you can make smart decisions.

It is important to note that the breaking up stage can happen at any time within the other stages; i.e., at any time you or the other person decides to exit the relationship for whatever reason.

In all seven stages, you always have these choices:

1. Continue moving forward

2. Stagnate

3. Slow down or go backwards

4. Exit

By taking notice of the signals from your head and heart, you will be better able to interpret what your intuition is telling you. At each stage, consider, "What am I thinking and feeling?" Are you receiving conflicting messages? Is your head saying one thing and your heart another? This is often the case, particularly in romantic relationships. What happens is there is an agreement error, a contrast between your thoughts and your feelings. This is perfectly normal. Just remember that you have your very own internal system of checks and balances. This system was designed to keep you safe. For the moment, it is temporarily out of order, probably due to stimulation overload. So, before making any decision at this time, go somewhere quiet' the answers will come with reflection and focus.

Once the answer comes, you should act quickly so you do not have time to doubt your decision. You should never feel trapped or unable to choose what is right for you. If at any time you do feel this way, then that is a good sign that something is not right with the relationship. You then need to examine what it is that is holding you back. If it turns out to be the other person, you are probably better off leaving the relationship.

A smart way to make important stage decisions is to mutually agree on what to do next. After all, "if it is meant to be, it will be," so you may as well start out making important decisions together. Couples who have good relationships know that it takes time to build their love. They make a conscious effort to progress slowly and purposefully through each stage, enjoying the process, while allowing their love to develop naturally.

Communicating with each other is essential to this process. You should be open and honest about your concerns and fears, so that you can trust that everything has been said and understood by both parties. Even if you find that things aren't what you would have hoped for, at least you know what is going on and then you can work on making it better.

Levels of Love

Most of us have experienced love blindness. We either think we love someone or do not realize until it is too late that we actually did love someone. You do not have to be blinded by love. You have the power to recognize it, but you must use smart decision-making skills to avoid making fatal relationship mistakes. In this section, work on waking up your awareness so that you will act in "knowing." The first step is to become familiar with the stages of relationships and the corresponding levels of love that you or your partner will most likely experience.

Relationship Avoidance Stage

"I do not desire love"

Goal: to prepare yourself for love

Characterized by non-interest

Meeting Stage

"I am open to finding love"

Goal: to prospect for the possibility of love in others

Characterized by anticipation

Dating Stage

"I hope to find love"

Goal: to pre-qualify for a potential partner

Characterized by uncertainty

(These three stages represent being single and the importance of using the "Screen-out" process.)

Breaking Up Stage

"I no longer have love with this person"

Goal: to let go of the person/love

Characterized by disappointment/relief

(Breaking up is a transitional stage.)

Exclusivity Stage

"I think this is love"

Goal: to further qualify the person to see if she/he might be a good match

Characterized by excitement

Commitment Stage

"I know this is love"

Goal: to close the deal

Characterized by confidence

Keeping the Love You Find Stage

"I want to keep this love"

Goal: to preserve the love you have found

Characterized by continuous commitment

(These three stages represent being involved and the importance of using the "Screen-in" process.)

The key is to consciously place yourself in each stage. For example, if you decide you want to be in the "dating stage" then be fully present and make a true effort to make yourself available for dating. If, however, you find that your heart isn't in it, and that you would rather avoid relationships, then you need to stop and consciously put yourself back in that stage. This will help you to stay clear on what you want and enable you to honestly communicate to others "where you are at." Each level and stage of the relationship is a transition and involves psychological and emotional energy. As you progress through each level, you will no doubt experience excitement and anxiety, hope and fear, arousal and dis-arousal, certainty and uncertainty, along with a myriad of other feelings. You will need to work hard at balancing the messages that you are receiving from both your head and your heart to most accurately interpret the incoming, overwhelming information-it is very easy! to be misled.

***This article is adapted from the book, Get Smart! About Modern Romantic Relationships: Your Personal Guide to Finding Right and Real Love by Michelle L. Casto

About The Author

Michelle L. Casto is a whole life coach, speaker, and author of Get Smart! About Modern Romantic Relationships, Get Smart! About Modern Career Development, and Get Smart! About Modern Stress Management. Her coaching practice is Brightlight Coaching, she helps people come up with bright ideas for their life and empowers them to freely shine their bright light to the world. Contact her for a free 30 minute coaching session: www.getsmartseries.com and www.brightlightcoach.com

coach@getsmartseries.com

---

To Love Or To Be In Love

What is the basic difference between loving someone and being... Read More

Calling Forth a Soulmate

How do I draw a soulmate into my life? You... Read More

Long Distance Love

Before the advent of the internet, long-distance relationships were rare.... Read More

How To Slay The Toxic Dragon In Your Life

How To "Slay The Dragon" In Your Life In Five... Read More

Say, Whats On Your Mind, Partner?

Stan is an incurable romantic. Ever since he started courting... Read More

What Men Hate in Women

Without wasting much time, here are some of the personality... Read More

Relationship Advice: A Tip from Monica and Chandler of Friends

If you are looking for it, you can find relationship... Read More

Five Easy Steps to Creating Your Dream Relationship

Millions of singles across the world are looking to create... Read More

Link Romantic Feelings To The Sight Of Your Face

Anchoring is an NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) term used to describe... Read More

Power Struggle!

The greatest asset we have in human existence is our... Read More

For Soul Mates: Will you grow or stagnate? Divine Source through Barbara Rose

Some soul mate couples refuse to grow. They refuse to... Read More

Married and ECheating ? A Dreadful Alliance!

In Homer's Odyssey (a Greek Myth) sailors were lured to... Read More

The Healing Power of Forgiveness

People who experience bad health often have major league forgiveness... Read More

Everything I Know About Relationship Success I Learned At The Playground

It happened again!I was enjoying an evening with my little... Read More

You CAN Improve Your Relationship

It seems as if creating successful relationships with our significant... Read More

Friendship - A Relation of Choice!

IntroductionHave you ever heard or have you ever seen, father-son;... Read More

Relationship Habits

How many of you have ever been involved with a... Read More

Understanding Your Teen Relationship

Teen relationships are touchy things. Girls are often ready for... Read More

Build your Social Support Network

A social support network is a group of people who... Read More

Are You My Soul Mate?

I'm always dumbfounded when someone walks up to me and... Read More

How To Quickly Turn Platonic Friends into Lovers Using The New 5-Step Jealousy Technique

I'm going to get straight to the point. If you... Read More

The Breakdown of Relationships and Why They Fail

All females need sexual tension from a prospective or existing... Read More

Anniversary Blues

Jamie and Kurt are a sweet, successful couple in their... Read More

Lovers Quarrel

One minute you seem like lovesick turtledoves teasing, laughing and... Read More

Spouse Improvement: Influence Your Partner to Change in Just 7 Steps

Everyone has something they'd like to change in their partner.... Read More

Relationship Advice: 4 Ways to Handle an Unsolvable Relationship Problem

1) Leave the relationshipThis is the most common alternative chosen,... Read More

Ending a Relationship Gracefully

Ending a relationship is never easy. When you feel you... Read More

Second Time Around the Block

Divorce happens. I'm not going to debate the causes or... Read More

Importance Of Background In A Relationship

Should coming from the same background be a major issue... Read More

How to Choose Your Life Partner?

You have reached the age where you can start thinking... Read More

What Planet Is Your Relationship On?

If men are from Mars and women are from Venus,... Read More

Happily Single v Happily Married

Have you noticed how so many people spend their lives... Read More

My Fairy Tale Is Gone

Dear Candace,My girlfriend and I recently split up. I called... Read More