1) Leave the relationship
This is the most common alternative chosen, and the reason for our high divorce rate. Our culture teaches that this is an easy choice to make, with little or no consequences. My experience as a relationship coach and a marriage counselor tells me that the opposite is true, divorce can be one of the most wrenching experiences in life.
2) Stay in the relationship and be unhappy.
Many couples stay together and are miserable for many years. They are going to live out "til death do us part" hoping the other person goes soon enough to be able to enjoy a little bit of life. I believe this is when people begin to die on the inside. It is really not a great option, yet many people will settle for this one.
3) Let go of the problem
It is possible to simply let go of the problem. People do this when they realize the relationship is more important than their requirement, or if it is an area of growth. You may grow past the requirement, or choose the relationship over the requirement. You have to make sure, however, that you can let go of the problem or requirement without "committing personality suicide."
4) Compromise
When you compromise you give up some of what you need, while still getting some of what you need, in order to meet in the middle. Since requirements can be very black and white, either/or, this can be a difficult challenge. One of the most difficult parts of this challenge is being able to see the options that are available to the couple. One way to say this is that you don't know what you don't know. This can be a good time to hire a counselor or relationship coach to help you examine the options creatively and objectively and negotiate something that works for both of you, and is sustainable in the long run.
Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
Fight or flight - our automatic response to danger. When... Read More
It doesn't matter how old we are, matters of the... Read More
All long-term relationships go through a variety of phases. There... Read More
She was haunted by a man whom she had never... Read More
Once, when asked about her life, former First Lady Barbara... Read More
Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles have loved each other... Read More
As the story goes, there was once a farmer and... Read More
Searching for the perfect mate can be one of life's... Read More
Some of these signs of a cheating spouse are "tongue... Read More
Everything was great.We had been dating for 6 months. We... Read More
Q. It seems that no matter what magazine I am... Read More
Sometimes the people who are the closest to us, our... Read More
Work. Bills. Kids. Chores.Etc.All these things get in the way... Read More
She stares at me and then closes her eyes. A... Read More
Today I received a question from a guy. Here is... Read More
As we are aware, our relationships are that bigger part... Read More
It's strange how often abused women tell you how loving... Read More
Dating someone with the same religious beliefs as you, can... Read More
The question I am asked most often is: I think... Read More
Before writing this article, I stopped and thought hard. By... Read More
There comes a point in every relationship when the person... Read More
Okay, who are we kidding. Long-distance relationships are not supposed... Read More
A husband and wife were doing a little redecorating and... Read More
There is a cool little game for spicing up your... Read More
Emotional infidelity can start with a simple hi or a... Read More
Sometimes, after a relationship has ended, many of us have... Read More
All relationships have some adjustment periods, but being hurt shouldn't... Read More
What would I do without my wife? Not much. What... Read More
Advertising for St. Valentine's Day seemed more relentless than ever... Read More
Remember that big hug she gave you when you got... Read More
Your Beloved Soldier Is Coming Home ? Now What?Laura anxiously... Read More
'Be yourself', isn't that what you've always heard? It certainly... Read More
It seems as if creating successful relationships with our significant... Read More
What is domestic abuse?There are many forms of domestic abuse,... Read More
Think back to when you were a child. Pick a... Read More
Fight or flight - our automatic response to danger. When... Read More
Society's current conception of the term "soul mate" is completely... Read More
Scientists are rubbing their hands together with glee. A recent... Read More
A husband and wife were doing a little redecorating and... Read More
It seems that no matter how much we love someone,... Read More
A relationship requires intimacy. I don't think anyone would argue... Read More
Striking a perfect balance between work and home today can... Read More
Many of us stumble into marriage and then continue to... Read More
One kind of extramarital affair revolves around sexual addiction. The... Read More
'Be yourself', isn't that what you've always heard? It certainly... Read More
Knowing her day can be dreadfully tiresome when she mounts... Read More
Falling in love?aaahh what a wonderful experience the first flushes... Read More
A little help finding love online.Visit the dating sites.If finding... Read More
I don't think a week goes by that I don't... Read More
"Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he... Read More
is the most important question you'll ever ask yourself. Let's... Read More
"They may forget what you said, but they will never... Read More
Online infidelity is more prevalent than you think. This includes... Read More
Many people know that the zodiac is a circle in... Read More
"We strengthen a muscle by using it, and that is... Read More
Q. It seems that no matter what magazine I am... Read More
According to new studies 5 out of 10 marriages will... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 5,... Read More
SHHHHHH, don't tell anybody, but, I know the secret.It all... Read More
We've all had relationships that we've looked back on and... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 19,... Read More
It's strange how often abused women tell you how loving... Read More
We can fall into the habit of complaining about our... Read More
Over the past few months, things in my life have... Read More
If you love me, you will keep my commandments?In the... Read More
Men wanted desperately, it's official. The increasing surplus of high... Read More
Relationship |