Soul Mate - a Pain in the Neck

"and they lived happily ever after...

That is how our favorite childhood fairytales have always ended.

That is how the romantic movies from Hollywood always end.

And that is what the media agencies advertisements promise will happen if we'll purchase the right toothpaste, car, T-shirt or life insurance policy.

In short, ""...and they lived happily ever after..."" is what we have been conditioned to believe our intimate relationship should look like.

WAKE UP FOLKS!

I hate to tell you this, but... GROW UP!

We were conditioned to believe that life was going to be a bed of roses... a piece of cake... a walk in the park.

Of course, what 'they' forgot to mention when we were kids, was that roses have thorns, cakes contain calories, and a walk in the park significantly increases your odds of stepping in dog's you know what...

One of the major myths we were led to believe in, since the 12th century, is the myth of romantic love.

A myth that nowadays has its new-age label - the well-known 'Soul Mate'.

Romantic love is probably the most popular path to personal satisfaction and self-esteem in the western world.

In our modern culture, we replaced religion with romantic love as the means by which we seek ecstasy, meaning and wholeness.

Romantic love does not only mean 'loving someone', it also means 'being in love'.

When we are in love we believe we have found the ultimate meaning of life, as revealed in another human being - our Soul Mate.

We feel 'instantaneous completeness' and believe that the so-called missing piece to our life and to ourselves, has finally been found.

Life suddenly seems to have a wholeness, meaning, direction and purpose.

There is this intensity, which lifts us high above our usual perception of reality.

For most people, these exciting feelings are assumed to be the definite signs of the ultimate lover.

Unconsciously, we immediately create a demand that our lover always provide us with this feeling of ecstasy and intensity.

Despite that ecstasy, within a few weeks (or months) we usually encounter feelings of loneliness, alienation and frustration over our inability to create intimate, loving and committed relationship.

Usually we blame our lover for failing us.

What seldom occurs to us is that, it is we who need to transform our own unconscious beliefs, expectations and demands, which we impose upon our lover.

Once aware of it, we realize that this relationship brings unhealed emotional 'stuff' into our conscious mind.

Only from this perspective, can we assume our responsibility for the situation and begin to deal with what comes to the surface.

From this point of recognition, we can then begin to heal ourselves.

I am convinced that we join in relationship with another person with the purpose of supporting each other's personal-growth process.

In order to support us on our path we need this private trainer or coach to walk with us.

Imagine one of those famous football or basketball trainers, as your personal coach, 24 hours a day, all year round...

I can see your horrified expression from here...

Well, this personal coach is your Soul Mate.

... not exactly what you had in mind when you saw that gorgeous someone at a party...

The role of your Soul Mate is to confront you when you're losing your integrity, to kick your ass when you're getting lazy, push your buttons until you gain clarity of your destructive patterns, and so on...

If you and your partner had both attained enlightenment, you probably wouldn't have so much trouble.

Your partner would have all the compassion in the world, and you would have the overview to see your partner's contribution to your life.

And then of course, if both of you are fully enlightened, then you probably don't need a Soul Mate...

However, assuming that both of you haven't reached that stage of full self-realization yet, life is a bit more complicated...

As Karen Scalf Linamen suggests, the phrase ""And they lived happily ever after"" is actually a long-forgotten medieval punch line that, when translated, means, ""And, boy - ha ha! - are they in for the surprise of their lives!""

Have fun..."

About The Author

Article by: Nisandeh Neta, author of the best-seller book Jump-Start Your Life: http://www.jump-start-your-life.com

When you are ready to live a life of purpose, passion, happiness, freedom, and success - download one of his free books at: http://www.inspiration2go.com

info@inspiration2go.com

In The News:

pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Anniversary Blues

Jamie and Kurt are a sweet, successful couple in their... Read More

Ridding Yourself Of Being A Manipulator To Better Your Relationships

One of the oldest character flaws in humans is their... Read More

Relationship Advice: Starter Marriages

A man walking through the woods near a river hears... Read More

Buying Underwear For The Woman In Your Life - The Golden Rules

There are two golden rules for choosing underwear for the... Read More

Did Casanova Really Need the Oysters?

Scientists are rubbing their hands together with glee. A recent... Read More

How To Quickly Turn Platonic Friends into Lovers Using The New 5-Step Jealousy Technique

I'm going to get straight to the point. If you... Read More

Tune Up Your Relationship

Why do some relationships last forever and others fall apart?... Read More

True Love - Part 2

Okay, so why would one person feel strongly about the... Read More

Attraction vs. Love

When we first meet someone, regardless of the way or... Read More

Attraction: Is It Worth It?

The Common Scenario:Your partner is hardly ever home to give... Read More

Great Relatinship Advice: The Ability to Meet Emotional Needs

Harville Hendrix, in his book ``Getting the Love You Want''... Read More

Romantic Gifts ? 10 Sizzling Ways to Give Them

When it comes to giving a romantic gift, it's not... Read More

Real Solutions For Combatting Extreme Shyness

Most people experience some degree of shyness from time to... Read More

How to Increase Romance with Humor

Ask any single adult what qualities he or she wants... Read More

Relationship Advice: Closeness and Connection

In my work with couples, certain themes have emerged that... Read More

10 Clues of an Online Affair

1. Your spouse or partner spends excess time on-line. Who... Read More

Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE

Ultimately, you want a partner you can be your true... Read More

Power Struggle!

The greatest asset we have in human existence is our... Read More

Your Relationships Begin With You

As a single male in my mid-twenties, I find myself... Read More

The Ancient Wisdom of Matchmaking & Loving Y.O.U.

"Know Thyself" PlatoIsn't it curious how just about everything in... Read More

Lab Created Diamonds Are Now Exceedingly Good

When we think of precious gems, we usually spare little... Read More

Great Relationship Advice: The Ability to Communicate

In my workshops with couples, I start with this question:"How... Read More

Is Your Husband or Wife Cheating? Five Great Reasons to Hire a Private Investigator!

Discovering an affair in your relationship is indispensable, but that's... Read More

A Kernel of Truth about Relationships: 4 Steps to Improvement

It's all about relationships! proclaimed my father during our recent... Read More

Sound Seduction Advice for Dating and Romance Success

BackgroundSeduction is a subtle tool used with the ultimate goal... Read More

Communicate through Body-language!

Consider a person very important to you. He or she... Read More

How realistic are we?

So often when we think of our ideal mate we... Read More

Do Men Just Want Mommy?

Accomplished women are losers in romance claims NY Times columnist... Read More

Relationship Advice: 2 Beliefs for a Successful Relationship

Mark Twain once saidGod's great cosmic joke on the human... Read More

Lobster - The Food Of Romantics

Summer has arrived! Woo-Hoo! Do you know what always comes... Read More

The Relativity of Your Life

We live in the world of the relative. What and... Read More

The Healing Power of Forgiveness

People who experience bad health often have major league forgiveness... Read More

Amaze Your Lover - 16 Romantic Ideas To Keep Them Happy

Some people have a natural ability to romance the oppposite... Read More