Soul Mate - a Pain in the Neck

"and they lived happily ever after...

That is how our favorite childhood fairytales have always ended.

That is how the romantic movies from Hollywood always end.

And that is what the media agencies advertisements promise will happen if we'll purchase the right toothpaste, car, T-shirt or life insurance policy.

In short, ""...and they lived happily ever after..."" is what we have been conditioned to believe our intimate relationship should look like.

WAKE UP FOLKS!

I hate to tell you this, but... GROW UP!

We were conditioned to believe that life was going to be a bed of roses... a piece of cake... a walk in the park.

Of course, what 'they' forgot to mention when we were kids, was that roses have thorns, cakes contain calories, and a walk in the park significantly increases your odds of stepping in dog's you know what...

One of the major myths we were led to believe in, since the 12th century, is the myth of romantic love.

A myth that nowadays has its new-age label - the well-known 'Soul Mate'.

Romantic love is probably the most popular path to personal satisfaction and self-esteem in the western world.

In our modern culture, we replaced religion with romantic love as the means by which we seek ecstasy, meaning and wholeness.

Romantic love does not only mean 'loving someone', it also means 'being in love'.

When we are in love we believe we have found the ultimate meaning of life, as revealed in another human being - our Soul Mate.

We feel 'instantaneous completeness' and believe that the so-called missing piece to our life and to ourselves, has finally been found.

Life suddenly seems to have a wholeness, meaning, direction and purpose.

There is this intensity, which lifts us high above our usual perception of reality.

For most people, these exciting feelings are assumed to be the definite signs of the ultimate lover.

Unconsciously, we immediately create a demand that our lover always provide us with this feeling of ecstasy and intensity.

Despite that ecstasy, within a few weeks (or months) we usually encounter feelings of loneliness, alienation and frustration over our inability to create intimate, loving and committed relationship.

Usually we blame our lover for failing us.

What seldom occurs to us is that, it is we who need to transform our own unconscious beliefs, expectations and demands, which we impose upon our lover.

Once aware of it, we realize that this relationship brings unhealed emotional 'stuff' into our conscious mind.

Only from this perspective, can we assume our responsibility for the situation and begin to deal with what comes to the surface.

From this point of recognition, we can then begin to heal ourselves.

I am convinced that we join in relationship with another person with the purpose of supporting each other's personal-growth process.

In order to support us on our path we need this private trainer or coach to walk with us.

Imagine one of those famous football or basketball trainers, as your personal coach, 24 hours a day, all year round...

I can see your horrified expression from here...

Well, this personal coach is your Soul Mate.

... not exactly what you had in mind when you saw that gorgeous someone at a party...

The role of your Soul Mate is to confront you when you're losing your integrity, to kick your ass when you're getting lazy, push your buttons until you gain clarity of your destructive patterns, and so on...

If you and your partner had both attained enlightenment, you probably wouldn't have so much trouble.

Your partner would have all the compassion in the world, and you would have the overview to see your partner's contribution to your life.

And then of course, if both of you are fully enlightened, then you probably don't need a Soul Mate...

However, assuming that both of you haven't reached that stage of full self-realization yet, life is a bit more complicated...

As Karen Scalf Linamen suggests, the phrase ""And they lived happily ever after"" is actually a long-forgotten medieval punch line that, when translated, means, ""And, boy - ha ha! - are they in for the surprise of their lives!""

Have fun..."

About The Author

Article by: Nisandeh Neta, author of the best-seller book Jump-Start Your Life: http://www.jump-start-your-life.com

When you are ready to live a life of purpose, passion, happiness, freedom, and success - download one of his free books at: http://www.inspiration2go.com

info@inspiration2go.com

In The News:

pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


The Tablet of Venus

In the 17th century, divination devices called The Tablets of... Read More

What Does a Dangerous Man Look Like?

When you are dating you try to keep from a... Read More

What Is A Boundary In A Relationship?

You might ask yourself, I have heard this word boundary,... Read More

Calling Forth a Soulmate

How do I draw a soulmate into my life? You... Read More

How Do I Get Him or Her To Talk To Me?!!!

This is a common concern in our society for single... Read More

Anniversary Blues

Jamie and Kurt are a sweet, successful couple in their... Read More

Great Relatinship Advice: The Ability to Meet Emotional Needs

Harville Hendrix, in his book ``Getting the Love You Want''... Read More

Why Anger is Essential to Healthy Relationships

Many of us have some very definite ideas about anger.... Read More

Things Every Couple Should Know

In my family law practice, one of the most common... Read More

Relationhip Advice: 10 Magic Words

Just about every night at our house, we read a... Read More

The Five Second Flirt Technique

The first thing you want to do is to get... Read More

Its Your Fault I Had An Affair!

When you read it like that, out of context, you'd... Read More

Relationship Advice - 10 Ways to Put Sizzle Back in Your Relationship

It seems that no matter how much we love someone,... Read More

Is Your Relationship Worth Fighting For

Sometimes when a relationship has gone sour, our efforts are... Read More

How a Three Letter Word Kills Good Relationships

"You know, I really do love fish!" My friend... Read More

8 Keys to Lasting Love

My granddaughter, Merritt Miles, was the inspiration for this CD,... Read More

Sometimes You Got to Spy ? Dealing with Online Infidelity

Online infidelity is more prevalent than you think. This includes... Read More

No More Lonely Weekends!

How do you react when you are faced with spending... Read More

Finding Love With Feng Shui

If true love has been eluding you, you could increase... Read More

Great Relationships: 4 More Dumb MIstakes and 4 Smarter Moves to Make

1) Treat the family you have come from as more... Read More

Love Problems

Often times when a couple gets married, things get pushed... Read More

Can We Still Be Friends?

Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve... Read More

The Three Levels of Soul Mates

From my own personal experience of being involved in certain... Read More

How realistic are we?

So often when we think of our ideal mate we... Read More

Ridding Yourself Of Being A Manipulator To Better Your Relationships

One of the oldest character flaws in humans is their... Read More

8 Reasons Why Your Man Isn?t More Romantic On Valentine?s Day

What is supposed to be the most romantic day of... Read More

Easy Ways to Turn Any Evening Romantic

If you don't have the time, money or energy to... Read More

How Can Empathy Shape Your Values?

One of the most underrated concepts that most people overlook... Read More

Relationship Advice: 5 Tips to Make a Strong Marriage Even Better

1. Time together is time during which the complete focus... Read More

Love Advice: Let Fate Decide?

One of the most commonly asked questions, What is Love?... Read More

Q & A: Reuniting With a Lost Love

>1. Who are the prime candidates to rekindle a romance?The... Read More

Interview with Tigress Luv: How To Get Over A Breakup

Recently I had the opportunity to interview my personal favorite... Read More

Relationship Advice: Wash that (Bad) Man Out of Your Hair

Stuck on a guy who cheats on you? Lies? Claims... Read More