Great Relatinship Advice: The Ability to Meet Emotional Needs

Harville Hendrix, in his book ``Getting the Love You Want'' has some interesting and helpful notions about the process of falling in love. According to Hendrix, as we fall in love with someone, we believe that this person will be able to meet all of our emotional needs.

But eventually the infatuation wears off and the day-to-day grind sets in. Partners begin to think or even say things such as ``You are not the person I married,'' or ``You're just like your father/mother'' or whatever. Emotional connections start shutting down.

The trick to getting out of this stage of the relationship is to recommit to meeting your partner's emotional needs. Let's illustrate the point with a story.

One night, a man has a dream in which he goes on a tour of heaven and hell. It turns out that hell is this huge banquet room with tables full of food and drink. The people at the tables, however, are all thin and wasting away. It seems that the silverware in hell is about four feet long and can be picked up only at the very end. The people in hell are unable to feed themselves.

So then he visits heaven, which is also a huge banquet room with tables full of food and drink. The silverware is exactly the same as in hell, four feet long and can be picked up only at the very end. The people in heaven, however, are full, content and happy. The simple yet profound difference is that in heaven the people are reaching across the table and feeding each other.

This is the shift that needs to occur if partners are to meet each other's emotional needs.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

In The News:


pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


Are You Really Ready For a Relationship?

So often I hear, I want a boyfriend, I'm married... Read More

Are You Paralysed By The Fear Of Future Regrets?

Edith Piaf remains an icon and her best loved song,... Read More

Bedroom Treason

Just a note to ask if there are other married... Read More

Are You Codependent or Independent?

Why is it that depending on others to fulfill our... Read More

The Evolution of Dating at 40 and 50

I am sick of the dating scene at 40. The... Read More

The Three Levels of Soul Mates

From my own personal experience of being involved in certain... Read More

Washroom Break

Picture yourself at a bar with some of your buddies.... Read More

Great Relatinship Advice: The Ability to Meet Emotional Needs

Harville Hendrix, in his book ``Getting the Love You Want''... Read More

Celebrate Friendship Day with Fresh Flowers!

Send flowers this Friendship Day, Sunday, August 7th! Across the... Read More

Yellow and Orange Flags in Relationships

It's been said that love is blind. It may also... Read More

Romantic Tips ? Gift Giving

I believe that we have all heard of the standard... Read More

Think INSIDE the Square to Keep Those Love Fires Burning

I was sitting in my sanctuary in my back yard... Read More

How do We Change our Self Esteem Perception?

Many of us have heard about the power of positive... Read More

Five Tips for Breaking Free of The Drama Habit and Developing a Healthier Arguing Style

We all feel angry from time to time, but feeling... Read More

Anniversary Blues

Jamie and Kurt are a sweet, successful couple in their... Read More

5 Surefire Ways to Arouse Your Woman

As there are different types of women, there are different... Read More

Russian Brides - Who Are They?

In recent years, thousands of young Russian and Ukrainian women... Read More

Secrets To Get To The Heart Of Your Loved One

The other day, I was home with my sweet love... Read More

Link Romantic Feelings To The Sight Of Your Face

Anchoring is an NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) term used to describe... Read More

Romantic Relationships: An Internal Process

If you grew up in the 80s like I did,... Read More

Ladies, Is Your Valentine The Cheating Kind?

According to statistics, 50% to 70% of men cheat on... Read More

What Does a Dangerous Man Look Like?

When you are dating you try to keep from a... Read More

Valentine?s Day is Fast Approaching, So Gather the Chocolates and Lingerie

That lover's holiday we know as Valentine's Day is coming... Read More

African Dating - Pride and Ambition

It is no secret that African culture is known for... Read More

The Type of Woman Men Fall in Love With

I'd like to shed some light on something that women... Read More

Finding a Life Partner

Dear Candace,I'm 35 years old and ready to open my... Read More

Married and ECheating ? A Dreadful Alliance!

In Homer's Odyssey (a Greek Myth) sailors were lured to... Read More

Recharging Your Relationship

Now you may ask why we would write an article... Read More

What You Should Know About Domestic Abuse

What is domestic abuse?There are many forms of domestic abuse,... Read More

Great Relationships: 4 More Dumb MIstakes and 4 Smarter Moves to Make

1) Treat the family you have come from as more... Read More

Extreme Breakup Recovery: Maximum Healing / Minimum Time

If you are going through the emotional rollercoaster of a... Read More

Your Next Relationship - Heaven or Hell?

We've all had relationships that we've looked back on and... Read More

Extra-marital Affairs...Yes or No!!!

Extra-marital Affairs?Yes or No!!! (Think and Tell)"Human Relations", a complex... Read More