Relationship Advice: 10 Tips for a Blissful Relationship

1.Often in marriage, especially in the early years, there is a choice: You can be right or you can be happy - not both. Choose wisely.

As a friend of mine said after his first year of marriage: "I finally figured out that the sun will come up tomorrow if we do it her way."

2.Learn the gentle art of cooperation. Related to wanting to be right, competition in a marriage is corrosive _ it eats away at all the good stuff.

If you are going to compete, compete together to have the very best marriage you can have.

3.Talk about the important stuff. Most couples spend more time planning a vacation than they do planning for their relationship. Create a relationship vision by asking: "If we could have it exactly like we want, how would it be?"

Build from there. If you get stuck, ask or hire someone to help.

4.Forgive as much or more than you would like to be forgiven. Sometimes forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, especially when you do not feel like it. Forgiveness can release you from the pain of the offense.

5.Celebrate what you want to see more of. Appreciation can go a long way.

6.Listen to the heart more than you listen to the words. Focusing on the words can lead to endless and meaningless debate: "No, that did not happen on Tuesday, it happened on Monday!"

Focusing on the heart behind the words can lead to resolution of conflict and to taking care of each other.

7.Don't be a Darren Stevens.

In the old sitcom "Bewitched," Samantha merely had to wiggle her nose to make incredible things happen. Darren was always trying to get her to stop using her magical powers.

Even as a little kid, I thought the guy was nuts. He could have had anything he wanted. Instead he tried to get Sam to stifle her gifts. Encourage your partner in her gifts.

8.Check out your communication. While it's easy for two people to talk to each other, sometimes it is more difficult to really communicate with each other. Practice these two sentences: "What I think you're saying is . . . did I miss anything?" and "Please, tell me what you think I just said."

9.Take responsibility for your contributions to the struggle. In 20 years of doing marriage counseling, I've yet to see a relationship problem that didn't have two sets of fingerprints all over it. Yet, we tend to focus on what the other person is doing. "If only you would . . . . ,then everything would be OK."

One of the quickest paths to frustration and failure is to try to change someone else. Take responsibility to change your contribution to the problem, whether it's what you are doing and/or how you respond to what your partner is doing.

10.Don't assume that just because you are married, you know how to be married. Pay attention to what works for other couples. Read all you can. Go to seminars. Everybody needs a coach. Find one. It's a lot less expensive than divorce, financially and emotionally.

Jeff Herring is a Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Syndicated Relationship Columnist. Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for more relationship tips and tools, a free internet newsletter and free e-programs to enrich your relationship.

---

Relationship Problems: Solvable or Unsolvable

Every so often, I will hear a relationship speaker claim... Read More

Russian Brides - Who Are They?

In recent years, thousands of young Russian and Ukrainian women... Read More

Why We Chose The Person We Love

"Those who do not remember the past are condemned to... Read More

Great Relationship Advice: Dont Be a Darren Stevens

Q: I can't believe I'm asking this question, because I... Read More

Are You Paralysed By The Fear Of Future Regrets?

Edith Piaf remains an icon and her best loved song,... Read More

Affairs: Advice for the One Who Was Betrayed

You are hurt, you are angry, you are simply devastated.Things... Read More

The Five Second Flirt Technique

The first thing you want to do is to get... Read More

Power Struggle!

The greatest asset we have in human existence is our... Read More

7 Ways To Improve Your Relationship

Good relationships don't just happen. I've heard many of my... Read More

Understanding Your Teen Relationship

Teen relationships are touchy things. Girls are often ready for... Read More

Learning to Trust Again

Eleven o'clock on a weeknight I found myself phoning a... Read More

Relationship Advice: A Tip from Monica and Chandler of Friends

If you are looking for it, you can find relationship... Read More

Relationship Tune Up - 7 Key Points to Avoid a Break Up or Break Down

"Every three months or 3,000 miles."That's how the sticker in... Read More

Little Help Finding Love Online

Visit the dating sites.If finding love online is what you're... Read More

Playing the Part

A revelation came to me at the most unsuspecting time.... Read More

7 Unfailing Laws of Happy Relationships

Most think that relationships exist to make them happy. When... Read More

Men and Relationships

Ever since the women's movement began, women have empowered themselves... Read More

Is It Love or Money?

What do women or men want out of a relationship?... Read More

Honesty Accepted - Deception Denied

We've all done it at one time or another, or... Read More

Does a Woman Want a Strong Christian Man?

Most women say they want a strong religious man who... Read More

Abusive Relationships

Abusive relationships are so painful that I often wonder why... Read More

Stop, Look, & Listen: The 3-Step Approach to Understanding Your Partner

IntroductionDo you feel misunderstood by your partner? Seem to keep... Read More

Relationship Advice - 10 Ways to Put Sizzle Back in Your Relationship

It seems that no matter how much we love someone,... Read More

Great Relationships: How to Create a Nag-Free Zone

Q: My wife and I have a good marriage that... Read More

Valentine?s Day is Fast Approaching, So Gather the Chocolates and Lingerie

That lover's holiday we know as Valentine's Day is coming... Read More

Being Romantic for a Change

Honestly, I do not know anyone who is romantic nowadays... Read More

True Friendships - How to Get True Friends and Friendships

True Friendship - RecognitionHow can we find true friendships in... Read More

Revenge ? Serve It Cold!

Whether you caught him in bed with the local bimbo,... Read More

Relationship Advice - How to Improve Intimacy

A relationship requires intimacy. I don't think anyone would argue... Read More

To Apologize or Not to Apologize...That is the Question

We don't like to say it and we don't always... Read More

How to Start a Conversation With a Woman

Last week I had the easiest pick up and seduction... Read More

Unfaithfulness

AS I STARED at the sunset, I marveled at its... Read More

Players: How to Deal with Them

Eventually, we'll all either play or be played. I'd like... Read More