Everything in life, in order to be a success, requires knowledge and education to some extent. We read, study and take courses on several subjects that we as human beings require in order to live the life we choose to live. If we wish to improve on a certain area of life such as career and education we simply enroll in classes or find alternative methods that will provide us with the information we are seeking. However, we were not taught to educate ourselves on relationships-the most essential factor to living in this world. We must be able to relate to others in order to create an environment that we feel is desirable and supportive to us. Here I am providing 7 steps to having a healthy relationship. Whether you are in a current relationship or seeking one, these are key ingredients to creating and improving the relationship you desire.
1. Know What You Want
Knowing what you want is the foundation to having that which you desire. Have you ever felt like you were going around in circles not really getting anywhere? That is what happens if you do not have a destination in mind. When choosing a relationship you must think of all the things that make a relationship perfect for you. Not what is perfect for anybody else or what you think others want you to have. It must fit you and your life.
2. Being Your Authentic Self
From early on in our lives we have had to learn to play different roles in different situations. Relationships are one of them. How many times have you felt that you had to be or act a certain way in order for a relationship to be what you thought it was supposed to be? We have forgotten how to be ourselves. It is our past experiences and beliefs from the past that keep us from being who we truly are. As individuals in relationships it is our sole responsibility to see all the opportunities there are to heal ourselves and release the past so that we can continue to unfold and become authentic beings.
3. Communication
Saying what we desire, saying what we feel, expressing our deepest fears, sharing our joys and successes are all pieces to communication in relationship. Telling our loved ones what we need and lovingly working through any disagreements and differences are more than essential in a relationship. How can two people come together if they do not know what is going on in their loved one's world? In order to be crystal clear in relationships we must learn and create a system of communication based on both partner's needs that then becomes the middle ground where miracles take place.
4. Acceptance
Take me as I am. We love someone because of who they are. In relationships it is up to us to love our partner for who they are and where they are in life. Their lessons are not our lessons to learn. Our only responsibility is to love and accept them as they are. When we try to change someone to make them fit our mold not only are we placing them in a box we are dissociating ourselves from the relationship and ignoring our own fears and needs. Relationships are about accepting and growing at our own pace and together holding each other's hands along the journey together.
5. Trust
If there is no trust there is no foundation. Next to Love, trust is what makes or breaks a relationship. In order to trust, we must stay completely true to ourselves and to our moral and spiritual beliefs. When we follow what we know in our hearts to be loving then we can be sure that we are giving our partner all the reason to trust us. In order to know what is true we must accept the fact that relationships are where we have the opportunities to grow, become better individuals and free ourselves from all things that are hurtful. Trusting your partner and giving trust to your partner is the greatest gift that will carry a relationship through anything.
6. Play
We have taken everything in life so seriously that we have forgotten what it means to play. We have forgotten what it feels like to let go and play like a child again. Being child-like means letting all your worries, fears, doubts and insecurities go. It means to laugh and have a good time and do things that you normally wouldn't do. Notice a child' s behavior. Notice their innocence. Notice their playfulness. It is that same energy that when brought into a relationship opens doors to unlimited possibilities and tons of fun.
7. Self-Love
If you do not love yourself how can you truly love another? You cannot serve from an empty tray. We have learned to believe that everyone else comes first and we come last. We have learned to believe many stories and lies that keep us stuck in the same rut. As you go through the processes of relationships you learn to discover what works and doesn't work for you. When we can fully accept ourselves and our experiences for what they are and have been then you can really begin to love someone deeply and completely. When you choose to take full responsibility for your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health then you can truly experience blissful love.
Marilyn Rodriguez is a Master Level Rapid Eye Practitioner, Life and Relationship Coach and an Ordained Minister. She has helped many clients overcome, release and heal their past and achieve their goals. She currently resides in Huntsville, AL. For a FREE conditional consult email Marilyn at retblink@yahoo.com or call her directly at 256-797-1500.
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