Fear of a Broken Heart

Dear Candace,

I am in the process of getting divorced and have met a very wonderful man who touches my soul. I am scared of a relationship because of a fear of not being perfect, and my main fear is that of a broken heart. I am wondering how this relationship will work out and how I should handle it so that no feelings will be hurt. I want to be with this man. Will I be? Will it be a forever relationship? Thank you. ~ Maggie

"Greetings and blessings to you precious one. You ask how to have this relationship without any feelings being hurt. Well, you will have to roll yourself up in cotton batting, lock yourself up in a closet and not have contact with anyone or anything, and then not allow your mind to think any thoughts. Perhaps then, with a little luck, you may not have your feelings hurt, and yet, even that is probably not possible.

"So, in the prospect of beginning a relationship, what you must do is expect and look forward to the opportunity to have your feelings hurt so that you can come to know yourself better, know the areas where you are challenged and pray that those places become healed and whole and filled with faith and love rather than fear, as they are now. To have a fear of your heart breaking will allow you first and foremost to focus on your heart breaking rather than to focus on your heart opening and allowing more love, more joy, and more capacity for love to be within you.

"The fear of a broken heart is what will create a broken heart. Nothing else can actually do it. You can be abandoned, abused, violated, unloved, rejected, and none of that need cause you to have a broken heart; it is how you handle the experience as to whether or not you will experience a broken heart. You can also have lots of love, support, and kindness in your life and still walk around believing that your heart is broken or will be broken. It is strictly your perspective and your experience of this situation that will cause you to have a broken heart or not.

"To want to be with this man is one thing and to have it be what is best for you may be something different altogether. For you, the most important thing is to pray only for that which is in your highest good and to avoid the prayers that specifically ask to be with this person forever. You cannot focus on or worry about the future. It is something that is ever-changing based on your own evolution and where you are in your life. Something may be perceived as forever and then you could shift your perspective in an afternoon and change the course of your life entirely. The future is not important; it is the now that is important. How do you perceive now? How do you love now? How open are you now to that which is for your highest good? Allow yourself to pray for peace and openness within your own heart so that you can receive and give love in the ways that you truly desire. That is your birthright, and if you truly want it, it will be done.

"Blessings to you precious one. Amen."

Inspired by A Course in Miracles, Candace Doyle has been hearing and sharing the Voice of the Holy Spirit within her as a discernible, conversational Voice for over 10 years. Her spiritual advice column, Advice From Within, shares this small, still Voice with others in their times of need. Candace and her husband, DavidPaul, are also the authors of The Journey That Never Was, a guide to hearing God's Voice regardless of one's faith, religion, or personal beliefs. For more information, please visit their website at http://www.rightmindedness.com

---

Put Some Z.I.P. Into Your Relationships

Relationships are really what makes the world go 'round, aren't... Read More

Are Women Really Superior to Men?

While doing my search for this idea, I came across... Read More

The 4 Deadly Mistakes of Wife Seduction

When a guy gets turned down over and over again... Read More

Love Advice: Are You Frozen in Time?

Falling in love is a process that one cannot stay... Read More

How Can I Get My Partner To Change?

How much energy do you spend trying to get what... Read More

Jinxed Relationships -- Are Yours?

Do you consider yourself unlucky in love? Have your relationships... Read More

How to Get Over a Breakup

This is one of the most difficult parts of a... Read More

Womens Cosmic Personality Quiz: Are You a Star Woman or an Earth Mother?

Star Women are visionary leaders, and focused on the future.... Read More

8 Keys to Lasting Love

My granddaughter, Merritt Miles, was the inspiration for this CD,... Read More

I Have A Secret to Share

Dear Candace,I have been through a lot over the last... Read More

Can a Male and Female be JUST Friends?

Introduction Have you ever heard or have you ever seen,... Read More

A Recipe For Romance

So, tonight's the night. You want to have a Romantic... Read More

Trust Starts with You

"I have a hard time trusting people.""I never feel like... Read More

A Gift From the Heart of a Friend

She stares at me and then closes her eyes. A... Read More

A Womans World

Women are simply wonderful don't you think? This question is... Read More

10 Crucial and Surprising Steps to Build Trust in a Relationship

1. Be predictable.When do seeds of suspicion emerge? When one... Read More

Hunter and Gatherer

Deep down, we haven't evolved as much as we would... Read More

True Love - Part 1

True Love! We all dream of being in love with... Read More

What Men Want From Women

Actually, it's pretty simple. Deep inside the heart of every... Read More

Great Relationship Advice: The Ability to Communicate

In my workshops with couples, I start with this question:"How... Read More

Relationship Advice - 5 Sure Fire Ways to Mess Things Up

1) Stay committed to your "right to be right."Argue for... Read More

Rediscovering Love and Intimacy

Wendy started counseling with me because Terence, her husband of... Read More

Home For The Holidays: Start That Conversation

Annie waited too long to have that talk with her... Read More

Dating Women From Russia: Important Tips The Marriage Agencies Never Tell You

I want to share with you information that the Russian... Read More

Its Your Fault I Had An Affair!

When you read it like that, out of context, you'd... Read More

Relationship Advice: Wash that (Bad) Man Out of Your Hair

Stuck on a guy who cheats on you? Lies? Claims... Read More

Rhubarb Romance: A Little Honey Works Wonders

Spring is in the air. It is a time of... Read More

What is a Red Flag

The focus of many of the last few articles has... Read More

How Often do you Think About What you are Going to Say?

How often do you think about what you are going... Read More

Adultery as Sexual Addiction: Should You Stay Married?

I outline 7 kinds of affairs in my E-book, "Break... Read More

Let Kissing Liven Up Your Meetings (and More Kissing Tips)

Every now and then a quarrel breaks out down at... Read More

Men and Relationships

Ever since the women's movement began, women have empowered themselves... Read More

The Sound of His Laughter

When you're searching for your Mr. Right, I want you... Read More