Dangerous Relationship?

I will in this article cover some of my own experiences living with a person with a dysfunctional personal disorder of type borderline. I call these person BP (BorderlinePersonality) to make things easier.

Why is it so hard to live with these people? What are the warning signals? What is there to do?

At first this persons are very charming so it's very hard to detect these disturbances. I also want to state that each and every one of us has some kind of borderline in our selves. Most of us don't have it to such a degree though that it could be classified as an illness.

Everything worked out fine for the first of couple of months and then suddenly BANG.

The first emotional outbreak appears and you don't even know what hit you.

I lived with a person like this for six years until I finally decided that enough is enough. We have two adorable children together that we both love more than anything on the world. The children have of course also suffered but I know that there are people out there in much worse situation others then mine.

As a relative in a family with persons like this it can be hard and also embarrassing to take this up with somebody else since you have the feeling that no one really understands you. The last couple of years I was so deep in it that I truly believed that everything was my fault.

Now, you know the saying "it takes two to tango" so I of course contributed to the situations and to the relationship. It did heart a lot finding out that I couldn't see this coming. So I had a big part of it naturally.

One of the things these persons are an expert in doing is getting the partner to feel guilty about things even though this is not the case. Many relatives complain about the emotional and physical fights that they keep getting into with almost no way to protect them selves from it.

Even though they know it's pointless to go into a fight like this it happens anyway.

The most known sign of a borderline personality is their emotional emptiness. To be a relative is like filling up Grand Canyon with a water gun. The only difference is that Grand Canyon actually has an end.

One other thing is "whatever you do is wrong". Do you recognize this? For a BP everything is either black or white there is no in-between. "You are either with me or against me" is also one of these statements you can hear.

Ending a relationship with a borderline personality is hard it's like having a delicious pizza slice in front of you with lots of mozzarella cheese on it. No matter how far you try to take the slice from your mouth, the cheese "string" only gets longer and longer without braking. For you as a relative there is only one advice use knife and fork.

As a relative be consequent at all times (this is very hard but it works).

We all have a choice, mine was to simply get out of the relationship and move on. There are still moments of fights every now and then but I think since the relationship ended both of us and our children has gained a lot more than if we would have stayed together.

There was of course times that where good in our relationship. Never knowing when the next outbreak would come took unfortunately away those moments.

The first step for me to come out of this was actually to read and learn about BP.

Maybe this article has the same impact on you, I sincerely hope so.

I wish you all the best!

Rate this article

Oliver Troll
The Croftbiz Team
Croftbiz

---

Second Fiddle

I have been seeing a married man for the past... Read More

Secrets of the Opposite Sex

Secrets of the Opposite SexMany jokes, problems, and conversations revolve... Read More

Anniversary Blues

Jamie and Kurt are a sweet, successful couple in their... Read More

Happily Single v Happily Married

Have you noticed how so many people spend their lives... Read More

Is Your Soulmate an Idiot?

Lately, I think people are investing too much energy in... Read More

Is It Love or Money?

What do women or men want out of a relationship?... Read More

Why Its Good To Be Alone

Have you noticed that there's an ebb and flow to... Read More

Has The Magic Gone From Your Relationship?

Kathleen and Dan have been together for several years now.... Read More

Lovers Quarrel

One minute you seem like lovesick turtledoves teasing, laughing and... Read More

Thick Slice, Or Thin?

Malcolm Gladwell's book "Blink" is a fascinating read. The subtitle... Read More

Spouse Improvement: Influence Your Partner to Change in Just 7 Steps

Everyone has something they'd like to change in their partner.... Read More

How To Make Hooking Up With Your Ex More Thrilling Than It Ever Was Before!

Now I really have seen everything.The other day, I saw... Read More

Assuming Personal Responsibility in Relationships

Stephen Covey in 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families says... Read More

Who Should Relocate In A Long Distance Relationship?

My Dear Lover,Soon or later, you and your beloved will... Read More

How a Three Letter Word Kills Good Relationships

"You know, I really do love fish!" My friend... Read More

To Love Forever

Emotionally healthy men and women almost always share their lives... Read More

Communicate through Body-language!

Consider a person very important to you. He or she... Read More

10 Ways to Seduce A Woman

I have written this article by request but want to... Read More

Choosing a Diamond Engangement Ring That She Can?t Say No To!

So you've decided to propose ? congratulations! This is a... Read More

How to Start a Conversation With a Woman

Last week I had the easiest pick up and seduction... Read More

Recognizing Unhealthy Relationships

One of the keys to obtaining a better life or... Read More

Are you (or are you with) a Commitment-Phobe?

We hear it all the time. "He just won't make... Read More

How to Have an Affair - Beware!

People decide to have an affair for many reasons. They... Read More

Relationship Advice: 6 Secrets for Great Relationships

The Law of ContentYou can get into trouble in a... Read More

Power Struggle!

The greatest asset we have in human existence is our... Read More

Infidelity Excuse: I Fell Out of Love... and Just Love Being in Love

I find this dilemma rather common for younger couples, probably... Read More

Zodiac Love Match ? Can the Stars be Right?

As a somewhat older gentleman (but still fairly good looking... Read More

The Fine Art of Flirting

Did you know that it is not necessarily your looks... Read More

Your Beloved Soldier Is Coming Home ? Now What?

Your Beloved Soldier Is Coming Home ? Now What?Laura anxiously... Read More

How to Use Your Brain to Seduce Women

CHESS-MATEIf you're one of those guys telling to yourself that... Read More

10 Tips For A Happy Relationship

It's not working. Your relationship with your partner is not... Read More

Energize Your Relationship By Celebrating Hoodie-Hoo Day February 20th

What is Hoodie-Hoo Day and what does it have to... Read More

Five Telltale Signs That A Role Reversal Relationship Could Be Right For You

Powerful, accomplished women intimidate some men, but fascinate others. If... Read More