Open your mouth. What do I mean? Talk ? say what's on your mind. Walking around with a chip on your shoulder will not strengthen your relationship. It will only create more distance between you and your mate. If you can't find the right words to say, write a letter. You may think that not saying something will make the issue or problem go away ? it won't. What it will do is build resentment towards your mate and open up the door for other problems to crawl in.
Zip it. You must think I'm nuts telling you to talk and now I'm telling you to zip it. What I mean is this ? after you have said your piece, listen with your heart for understanding instead of gathering information to be used as ammunition. Do your best to not interrupt while your mate is speaking.
Use tact. Say what's on your mind honestly and with as much love, kindness, respect and consideration. Remove criticism, contempt and defensiveness from your delivery. In your reply, use words like, "So what I hear you saying is??" or "If I heard you correctly, what you mean is this?? Statements like these let your mate know that you care.
Fix it. Repair any damage done in an argument immediately. If you've said something you know you shouldn't have said, apologize today ? not tomorrow and never go to sleep without saying "I love you." There is no guarantee that you will wake up.
Let it flow. Don't expect conflict to be resolved once and for all. Allow for continued discussion. Effective communication takes time. Trial and error is necessary in order to become a master at any skill. The same holds true for great communication.
Take a break. If the disagreement begins and continues in a harsh way, take a break and continue later. Little is accomplished with two hot heads in the room. Better results are guaranteed when you are calm, cool and collected.
Own up. I'm a huge fan of self-responsibility. Stop blaming your mate and acknowledge your responsibility in what's causing troubles in your relationship. If you screwed up and know you are dead wrong for what you did or said, own up!
"When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece."
Coach Yvonne Chase
http://www.availableandhappy.com
coachyvonne@availableandhappy.com
877-7-RELATE (773-5283)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|


What is the basic difference between loving someone and being... Read More
Destructive communication erodes self-esteem and harms relationships. Such communication patterns... Read More
It's not working. Your relationship with your partner is not... Read More
You know the scenario. You start dating a woman. After... Read More
"They may forget what you said, but they will never... Read More
A social support network is a group of people who... Read More
Hamlet has given this generation an awfully amazing and defensive... Read More
In my workshops with couples, I start with this question:"How... Read More
All females need sexual tension from a prospective or existing... Read More
1) Leave the relationshipThis is the most common alternative chosen,... Read More
I believe that we have all heard of the standard... Read More
Remember the Tom Cruise movie "Jerry Maguire?"From my seat in... Read More
One of the most commonly asked questions, What is Love?... Read More
How To "Slay The Dragon" In Your Life In Five... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 5,... Read More
Even preteens have relationships that are important to them. In... Read More
She stares at me and then closes her eyes. A... Read More
'Be yourself', isn't that what you've always heard? It certainly... Read More
Have you noticed that there's an ebb and flow to... Read More
The art of romance and the art of Zen are... Read More
Have you been plagued by the nagging feeling that your... Read More
Most people experience some degree of shyness from time to... Read More
Many guys are just too intimidated and full of anxiety... Read More
Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve... Read More
Why is it that even though I am not positive... Read More
The word infidelity brings with it fear to every woman... Read More
We have all heard the wonderfully romantic stories of pen... Read More
When we first meet someone, regardless of the way or... Read More
We are all members of a few families in our... Read More
1. It's addictive. Fighting, and the anger that comes with... Read More
Your best friend moves a thousand miles, your aunt retires... Read More
Many of us have some very definite ideas about anger.... Read More
Sometime in the 1950's, women's magazines started publishing relationship quizzes... Read More


While conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.The secret... Read More
How many of you have ever been involved with a... Read More
Everyone has something they'd like to change in their partner.... Read More
Before writing this article, I stopped and thought hard. By... Read More
Have you noticed the trend?You ever notice how on programs... Read More
I recently came across this quote:"There is a time in... Read More
SOMETIMES I'LL ask a couple I'm seeing in therapy to... Read More
Q: Could you help us settle a growing conflict in... Read More
1. The Perfect Phase is the first three months. If... Read More
Over the past few months, things in my life have... Read More
Men and women think differently about romance.Men are goal-oriented. They... Read More
You hate it, but it's happened ? the love of... Read More
In order to improve relationships, many people have increasingly turned... Read More
Parents and loved ones always seem to put a damper... Read More
Every woman dreams of meeting that special man that knows... Read More
I cannot tell you how many times I have heard... Read More
So what's new in the world of spirituality and the... Read More
For many of us, love has become a distant ideal.... Read More
"And they lived happily ever after.........."Yeah right.Perhaps I'm a little... Read More
Joke from a Woman to another Woman "Some husbands are... Read More
Body Language can tell you a lot about what is... Read More
No, this is not a rehash of primary-school grammar; nor... Read More
What is domestic abuse?There are many forms of domestic abuse,... Read More
When you are dating you try to keep from a... Read More
IntroductionDo you feel misunderstood by your partner? Seem to keep... Read More
One of the very worst mistakes a man can make... Read More
Searching for the perfect mate can be one of life's... Read More
When it comes to giving a romantic gift, it's not... Read More
Modern technology hasn't solved any of the problems of creating... Read More
Life after retirement separation can be a very lonely one... Read More
Fight or flight - our automatic response to danger. When... Read More
Relationships are really what makes the world go 'round, aren't... Read More
The first step in using feng shui to attract a... Read More
Relationship |