Intent

Over the past few months, things in my life have been better than ever. New home, new friends, and wonderful career. Yet I found myself uncharacteristically asking, "Self, why am I feeling so frustrated? Why am I getting upset at the smallest of situations?"

I did a little digging (soul searching, if you will) and realized that as wonderful as things were going at the moment, like most of us, I had some unfinished business out there.

There were a handful of people and negative relationships that were still on my mind and wanted to do something about it.

What I came up with was the realization that out of all the people or things I was angry with, none of them (did I believe) truly meant to cause me harm. In other words, they had no intent for malice; it was only the interpretation of the event or situation that caused me anger and pain.

Think about this for a second. How many times have you gotten into arguments over the silliest of things, only to later realize how foolish you were being and to acknowledge that you'd simply gotten caught up in the moment?

After pondering this question for a bit, I decided to do something I should have done long ago. I thought about the few relationships in my life that were less than perfect or had ended on a sour note. I then committed myself to research what had caused the upheaval and to do my best to rectify the relationships that lacked a harmful intent.

I asked myself whether my ex-wife had really intended to slander me with the things she said, or whether she'd been speaking through her frustration and uncertainty of losing a relationship that she had shared for over half her lifetime. Had my father intended to discard our relationship, or was he simply avoiding me to save himself from having to deal with his own ex-wife who may have said some terrible things to him as well?

Get the picture?

Now, as personal as this is, I share it with you this month because what happened next was truly amazing. By taking action toward repairing the past and eliminating the negative feelings I was carrying, I rekindled some of the best relationships I'd ever known.

Look, I'm not asking you to play God and pretend to know what people think. However, you can use common sense and make an educated guess. For example, if someone borrows your car and crashes it, ask yourself whether they meant to do it. More than likely, they didn't, so why end a relationship over it? However, if someone takes a bat to your car and smashes it to pieces, you're probably safe in assuming they had a negative intent.

Now let me ask you, do you have any relationships that may have been severed from an accident or misunderstanding? In retrospect, do you think the person truly intended to destroy, upset, or provoke you? Was a bat involved, or just angry words and misguided thoughts? If you can't find evidence of a harmful intent, pick up the phone, say hello, and let go of your resentment.

Best wishes, and keep smilin'.....

Gregory Scott Reid, #1 best-selling author, speaker and Radio personality. Please visit my website at http://www.AlwaysGood.com and sign up for my free monthly newsletter.

---

I Love You!

The famous three words we never hear enough of in... Read More

Affairs: Advice for the One Who Was Betrayed

You are hurt, you are angry, you are simply devastated.Things... Read More

If You Love Me

If you love me, you will keep my commandments?In the... Read More

Fight, Flight, or Loving Action

Fight or flight - our automatic response to danger. When... Read More

To Apologize or Not to Apologize...That is the Question

We don't like to say it and we don't always... Read More

Why Doesnt She Leave Him?

It's very easy to look, from the outside, at another... Read More

Stop Making Relationship Mistakes! Avoid Another Unhappy Relationship!

It is possible for women to steer clear of an... Read More

10 Crucial and Surprising Steps to Build Trust in a Relationship

1. Be predictable.When do seeds of suspicion emerge? When one... Read More

Forgiveness

"The important thing to remember when it comes to forgiving... Read More

Being A Friend Through A Divorce

We used to joke amongst the couples we are close... Read More

The Fine Art of Flirting

Did you know that it is not necessarily your looks... Read More

What Every Woman Should Know About Men and Romance

Men and women think differently about romance.Men are goal-oriented. They... Read More

American Women Really Don?t Like You

Any man who has dated Asian ladies who live in... Read More

Great Relationship Advice: Dont Be a Darren Stevens

Q: I can't believe I'm asking this question, because I... Read More

A Womans World

Women are simply wonderful don't you think? This question is... Read More

Why Do Men and Women Misunderstand Each Other So Much

Joke from a Woman to another Woman "Some husbands are... Read More

A Friend in Need

Here's the scenario: Julie, a hardworking secretary, lent money to... Read More

If You Cannot Make Friends, Make Foes

There are few desires (if any) stronger than the deep... Read More

Rhubarb Romance: A Little Honey Works Wonders

Spring is in the air. It is a time of... Read More

Travel to Find a Russian Bride

Do you agree that the best lessons are lessons given... Read More

Attraction vs. Love

When we first meet someone, regardless of the way or... Read More

A Gift From the Heart of a Friend

She stares at me and then closes her eyes. A... Read More

5 Ways to Tell Your Man You Love Him

Telling your man that you love him is part of... Read More

Guys Guide To Flowers

We are here to help! With these helpful hints on... Read More

Relationship Advice for Women - Beyond the Happy Ending - Part 1 The Nothing Syndrome

We've all heard the stories. The princess finds her prince... Read More

The Economics of True Love

In the real world, can there be romance without finance?... Read More

Thick Slice, Or Thin?

Malcolm Gladwell's book "Blink" is a fascinating read. The subtitle... Read More

How Do I Get Him or Her To Talk To Me?!!!

This is a common concern in our society for single... Read More

Flirting For A Long-Term Relationship

Have you ever wondered why we flirt? I mean, we've... Read More

Relationship Advice: A Tip from Monica and Chandler of Friends

If you are looking for it, you can find relationship... Read More

A Guide to Relationship Quizzes

Sometime in the 1950's, women's magazines started publishing relationship quizzes... Read More

Great Relationships: 7 Secrets You Must Know to Make It

1. CommitmentTrue commitment means much more than simply committing to... Read More

Relationship Tips to Grow Close and Stay Close

Relationship Tip 1My family loves movies. In the theater, on... Read More