Build your Social Support Network

A social support network is a group of people who you can count on to support you. They may be the first people you call when something upsetting has happened, when you have a difficult decision to make, or when you have fantastic news to share. Some of the people in your social support network might be professionals and support you in very specific ways (i.e. your family doctor or your life coach), and other people in your network you might live with or be in contact with every day.

First, let's talk about why social support is important and why it matters to your self-care. Research has shown that a lack of social support (isolation) can contribute to an ongoing state of chronic stress, which will negatively impact your immune system and put you at risk for dangerous conditions.

Now, what can strengthening your social support network do for you? Social support can improve the functioning of your immune system, protecting you from disease, and it can increase your vitality, decrease your stress and improve your self-esteem.

WHAT MAKES A SOCIAL SUPPORT NETWORK SOLID?

STRENGTH ? Make sure that you're not counting on one or two people to provide all the support you need. That can be hard on them, and on you (if they're suddenly unable to be there for you). Reach out regularly to several people.

VARIETY ? Similarly, having many people in your support network gives you access to their different skills, perspectives and experiences.

COMMON GROUND - If you're dealing with a particularly difficult challenge or have a very specific goal, then finding and regularly interacting with others in the "same boat" can have extremely beneficial results. Whether it's finding out how others have handled a situation, or sharing some of your experience, groups like this can be a great boost to your self-care program.

SOMETHING TO REACH FOR ? Make a point of building or strengthening your relationships with people who inspire, encourage and support you, and who empower you to grow and to be your best self. For instance, someone who is very committed to his or her own self-care will inspire you to make positive self-care choices. And someone who is very loving and supportive will help you to feel good about yourself.

5 WAYS TO NURTURE YOUR SUPPORT NETWORK

1. Call or write when things are good as well as when they're not. Sharing your gratitude and appreciation can help to deepen your relationships and will also intensify your good feelings.

2. Be open to new people. You never know when someone new is going to come into your life or the unique gifts they will bring. I believe that sometimes we're meant to connect with certain people only briefly ? so instead of thinking, "I don't have time for a new friend,", go with your heart and get curious about what you can learn from interacting with this person.

3. Offer to help. Whether it's people you know or people you haven't met yet (i.e. through a volunteer position), helping others can be a wonderful boost for your own self-care. AND remember that YOUR self-care still comes first!

4. Live by the Four Agreements, as created by Don Miguel Ruiz - Be impeccable with your word, don't take anything personally, don't make assumptions and always do your best. For more information about the Four Agreements, visit http://www.miguelruiz.com/agreements.html.

5. If you don't feel like talking to anyone, talk to someone. Sometimes we choose to be isolated. It can be really difficult to reach out when we feel like this. Do it anyway.

It's important to remember that your social relationships can also have a negative impact on your self-care. Unspoken truths, unintentional sabotage, or continuously taking on the role of care-giver can all add stress and affect your commitment to self-care.

So instead, nourish your positive relationships and keep your social support network strong and working for you.

© Copyright 2005, Genuine Coaching Services. All rights reserved.

Linda Dessau, the Self-Care Coach, is the author of "The Everyday Self-Care Workbook". To find out more about the book, or to receive one of her free monthly newsletters, visit http://www.genuinecoaching.com/resources.html.< /a>

In The News:

pen paper and inkwell


cat break through


To Know You Is To Love You

How do you show someone you love them? Do you... Read More

Diamond Solitaire Rings - The Ultimate In Engagement Rings

There are no better rings to seal your engagement than... Read More

Better Than Help

One thing that women in abusive relationships and their family... Read More

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places? - How to fine tune your relationship radar

I don't think a week goes by that I don't... Read More

Is This The One?

Isn't that the million dollar question? How can I tell... Read More

The Key to Ending Pain With Others

It has taken me 40 years to learn exactly how... Read More

7 Myths About Good Guys

It is every woman's dream to meet a "Good Guy"... Read More

Live Like You Were Dying: Help for Overcoming an Affair

In the recovery phase of my husbands last affair I... Read More

Womens Cosmic Personality Quiz: Are You a Star Woman or an Earth Mother?

Star Women are visionary leaders, and focused on the future.... Read More

The Sting

Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 28,... Read More

My Life

My sister is 45 and having an affair with an... Read More

5 Surefire Ways to Arouse Your Woman

As there are different types of women, there are different... Read More

Calling All Single Parents! Why not Try Online Dating?

Forming a relationship when you're a single mother or father... Read More

Easy Ways to Turn Any Evening Romantic

If you don't have the time, money or energy to... Read More

Great Relationships: Checkbook Battles and How to Solve Them

"You can't hold on to a dime. Do you own... Read More

Hey There, Whats Your Money Personality?

Guys who come up to women in bars and ask:... Read More

How to Get Over a Breakup

This is one of the most difficult parts of a... Read More

The Friend Who Taught Me

Knowing her day can be dreadfully tiresome when she mounts... Read More

Is Your Soulmate an Idiot?

Lately, I think people are investing too much energy in... Read More

The Counsel of Caution

Caution is a word with a fine old-fashioned ring. The... Read More

Five Telltale Signs That A Role Reversal Relationship Could Be Right For You

Powerful, accomplished women intimidate some men, but fascinate others. If... Read More

Discerning The Loving Heart

How often have you had the experience of connecting with... Read More

Relationship Advice - How to Get Out and Stay Out of Relationships Ruts

"The only difference between a rut and a grave are... Read More

Relationship Advice: 6 Secrets for Great Relationships

The Law of ContentYou can get into trouble in a... Read More

9 Myths About Being Single

More than 48% of US households are headed by unmarried... Read More

Set Your Relationship Up for Success

A quarter of thirtysomething couples are unhappy in their relationships,... Read More

Being A Friend Through A Divorce

We used to joke amongst the couples we are close... Read More

Ounce of Prevention

"To love, honour and cherish", easy words to say during... Read More

How To Develop A Grateful Mind

There is one sure fire medicine that cures all difficulty... Read More

Don?t Snuff Out Expressions of Liking

It is hard to express all the emotions to somebody... Read More

Keep the Fires Burning

The toys are put away, homework's done and the kids... Read More

Great Relationships: 7 Secrets You Must Know to Make It

1. CommitmentTrue commitment means much more than simply committing to... Read More

Why Its Important to Stay in Contact with Your Friends when Youre in a Relationship

So often when we begin to enter into a new... Read More