You Dont Have to Break Down, When You Break Up!

Very few people would argue with the fact that creating successful relationships is often one of the biggest challenges we face as human beings. The strange thing is that life can become even more challenging when they end. But is it really necessary to break down when you break up?

Below are three simple ideas that will help guide you to re-build your life on your own.

1. Become firmly grounded in the present moment.

If you find yourself on the other side of a relationship, it is important that you have a deep awareness of what you are feeling in the present moment. Continually check in with yourself. Notice what is going on with you if you are experiencing emotional upset. Your body is always in the present, but where is your mind?

It may be very tempting for you to delve into your past replaying events over and over again in your head. The reality is, you can't change your past, so trying to do so is futile. Just accept everything as it is. Find peace around the thought that both of you were operating to the best of your ability, given the circumstances, at any moment in time.

Equally futile is casting your mind into the future, wondering what life could have, would have, should have been like had you stayed with your partner. The truth is that your future is going to look somewhat different to what you may have previously anticipated. Do your best to accept it.

If you manage to stay in the present moment, most of the pain you will experience will be growing pains. You are transforming from one state of being to another. It's not going to be easy. Whether your new state of being is a good one largely comes down to the choices you make. If you take responsibility for where you are right now you will slowly begin to see you life unfold as it should.

2. Breaking up with someone is a creative as well as a destructive process.

It was Pablo Picasso that stated that 'every act of creation is necessarily an act of destruction'.

Whether you like it or not, breaking up with girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife is a creative process as much as it is a destructive process. What you are in fact doing is deconstructing your life with your partner and re-creating your life where your partner takes on a different role to the one they had previously. In extreme cases, you may even decide that your partner will have no future role in your life.

This creative process can be turbulent and it can also be profoundly enjoyable and exciting. What you have is an opportunity to start over. If it feels right for you, completely immerse yourself into the creative process. Take the opportunity to try as many new things as you possibly can. You may well astound yourself with what you are capable of doing on your own.

3. Allow yourself to regenerate.

If you are going through a break up allow yourself plenty of time to regenerate. Focus on the things that you can control. Make sure that you exercise regularly, eat properly and get plenty of rest. Read, spend time with family and close friends and spend plenty of time in nature.

Take things slowly, look after yourself and create the time and space in your life necessary to allow yourself to start growing again.

Remember two things.

However you choose to adapt to this change process, it is of critical importance that you remember two things;

i) be kind to yourself and
ii) be kind to your ex-partner.

Whether your break-up was hard fought or amicable, extending compassion to your old friend will help you both immensely in the healing process. Remember that you are both beautifully human, doing the best you can to navigate through this world.

Copyright Damien Senn 2005. All rights reserved.

Damien Senn is a Life and Business Coach as well as a fully qualified Chartered Accountant. He helps people create compelling futures.

He is the author of the 'Senn-Sational Success Journal' and has developed his own coaching model called the 'Senn-Sational Success System'.

For your free download '101 things to do before you die' please click the following link:

http://www.senn-sational.com/freeresources.htm

---

Making Passion More Passionate

Somewhere between the first kiss and growing old together, many... Read More

Dont Avoid Conflict and Confrontation with Your Spouse

"I just let him handle things his way." "We're not... Read More

The Spiritual Connection of True Romance

In the springtime, with the flowers budding and the birds... Read More

False Forecasts Lead to Matchmaking Hell

False ForecastsThe typical methods for finding a partner are based... Read More

Extended Family Relationships: Staying Friends with Former Lovers and Spouses

Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve... Read More

Relationship Tips 101

In this article I'd like to share what the research... Read More

Relationship Advice: A Tip from Monica and Chandler of Friends

If you are looking for it, you can find relationship... Read More

The Path of Relationship

Each month after completing and fine tuning Letters on Life... Read More

Coping with Your Difficulties in Yourself

Ashleigh Brillant once said""Coping with difficult people is always a... Read More

Ive Gotta Hand It to You

What would I do without my wife? Not much. What... Read More

A Little Help Finding Love

A little help finding love online.Visit the dating sites.If finding... Read More

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places? - How to fine tune your relationship radar

I don't think a week goes by that I don't... Read More

Attention Guys: Impress Your Girls - Send Flowers!

Remember that big hug she gave you when you got... Read More

American Women Really Don?t Like You

Any man who has dated Asian ladies who live in... Read More

Relationship Advice: Words Can Hurt or Heal

"Stick and stones, may break my bones, but words will... Read More

For Soul Mates: Will you grow or stagnate? Divine Source through Barbara Rose

Some soul mate couples refuse to grow. They refuse to... Read More

A Kernel of Truth about Relationships: 4 Steps to Improvement

It's all about relationships! proclaimed my father during our recent... Read More

An Introduction to Relationships

"Love makes the world go around" was true when it... Read More

The Type of Woman Men Fall in Love With

I'd like to shed some light on something that women... Read More

Love Advice: Are You Frozen in Time?

Falling in love is a process that one cannot stay... Read More

How to Find Out If Your Wife or Girlfriend Is Cheating On You

What drives a woman to cheat may look a lot... Read More

Choosing an Online Dating Service

The problem with choosing a dating service is choice --... Read More

Two Kinds of Love

Love is something we all need, and want. For love,... Read More

Are You Chasing Dollars or Your Kids?

Striking a perfect balance between work and home today can... Read More

Parasitic Relationship

Something in my life is weighing heavily on my mind,... Read More

The Best Break Up Advice

Extreme Breakup Recovery Maximum Healing ? Minimum TimeIf you are... Read More

Flirting For A Long-Term Relationship

Have you ever wondered why we flirt? I mean, we've... Read More

Amaze Your Lover - 16 Romantic Ideas To Keep Them Happy

Some people have a natural ability to romance the oppposite... Read More

How to Spot a Cheater

Is your man the cheating type? Here are some clues... Read More

Womens Cosmic Personality Quiz: Are You a Star Woman or an Earth Mother?

Star Women are visionary leaders, and focused on the future.... Read More

Real Friends

About a year ago, I was talking to a friend... Read More

Swinging! Will My Spouse Be Interested?

How does one talk his/her spouse into living the Swinging... Read More

Learn the Six Secrets of Chemical Romance

What is Chemical Romance? It's a scientific approach to seduction... Read More