Are You Addicted To Your Activities?

Activities - such as sports, creative projects, reading, work, TV, meditation - can be a wonderful way to relax, express yourself, or connect to yourself. Or they can be an addiction. How can you know the difference?

• Angie would surf the channels whenever she felt stressed or alone.

• Karen would lose herself in a book when things felt overwhelming.

• Keith would retreat and meditate when his wife wanted to talk.

• Patty's work schedule left her little time at home.

• Carl spent more time in the garage fixing things than with his family.

• Patrick's love of running was interfering with his family time.

Whether or not an activity is an addiction depends upon your INTENT.

• When the intent of an activity is to avoid the pain of aloneness and loneliness, it is an addiction.

• When the intent of an activity is to avoid the pain of rejection or the fear of domination, it is an addiction.

• When the intent of an activity is to put off doing something you don't really want to do but need to do, it is an addiction.

Whenever an activity is used as a way to avoid something - painful feelings, difficult or boring tasks - it becomes an addiction. It's really no different than using substances such alcohol, drugs, or food to avoid painful feelings or challenging tasks. The problem with using addictions to avoid painful feelings is that the feelings don't actually go away. They are just numbed for the moment but are silently eroding one's sense of self. We can get away with it only for so long before it shows up in some way - illness, divorce, depression, and so on. And avoiding tasks means that the tasks pile up, eventually causing the very stress we want to avoid. Our society is filled with ways to avoid. Yet it is avoidance that leads to the very feelings we are striving to avoid!

When the intent of an activity is to take loving care of yourself by providing yourself with fun, creativity and expression, relaxation, personal growth, spiritual growth, physical health and well-being, then it is a loving action rather than an addiction. It all depends on your INTENT.

Next time you want to participate in your favorite activity, you might want to notice your intent. Do you want to relax and watch TV or are you avoiding some difficult feeling or task? Do you find yourself scheduling more work than you can really handle to avoid dealing with aloneness, loneliness, or conflict with a mate, or are you really loving your work and feeling fulfilled by it? Are you exercising to support your health or to avoid feelings?

Once you become aware of using an activity to avoid, here's what you can do about it:

Welcome the feeling you are trying so hard to avoid. Pay attention to the feeling - fear, loneliness, aloneness, agitation, boredom, anxiety.

Make a decision to learn what YOU might be doing to cause this feeling rather than continuing to avoid it.

Explore what you might be doing to cause this feeling. How are you not taking care of yourself that is causing your painful feeling? Are you procrastinating, judging yourself, or not standing up for yourself in conflict? How are you avoiding responsibility for your own well-being? Are you allowing yourself to be a victim, waiting for someone else to make you feel better?

Once you understand what you are doing to cause your distress, then you need to ask "What would be the loving action for myself?" You are asking this question of your highest self, or of your spiritual guidance if you are connected with a source of guidance. If you open to learning about what is loving, ideas will pop into your mind.

Now you need to take the loving action on your own behalf - complete a task, stand up for yourself and speak your truth with someone, and so on.

Re-evaluate how you are feeling. Are you feeling more peaceful and more powerful? You will feel more peaceful if you have taken the loving action. If you are not feeling better, don't just turn back to your addictions. Look for another loving action until you find what really makes you feel safe on a deep level, not just the temporary pacification of an addiction.

You will find your addictions fading away as you learn to take loving care of yourself.

About The Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

In The News:

---

7 Destructive Habits of Incompetent People

WARNING! If you want to have a fantastic life, never... Read More

Are You Addicted To Your Activities?

Activities - such as sports, creative projects, reading, work, TV,... Read More

Living In The Now

I hope you are sitting down as you read this!... Read More

The $10,000,000.00 Question

When I asked my client, Amanda, what she would do... Read More

A Live It

Real change happens only when it becomes part of our... Read More

Seeing Your Energy At Work

Our bodies are made of pure energy. With Quantum physics... Read More

Difficult Challenges? -- What If?

Sometimes life can seem like one long series of unsolvable... Read More

Recreating Yourself

So it's time for a change. You've taken that hard... Read More

How to Save Yourself from Negative Influences

Watching the news can be hazardous to your health.It's a... Read More

Essence of Awakeness

Be conscious, aware, and alert. Pay attention. Remember when you... Read More

Parts that Make the Whole? or Not

There are many parts that make up you.There's the Musical... Read More

What Do You Really Want ?

Being a coach is such a rewarding profession. The enormous... Read More

101 Winning Choices

Personal missions statements (PMS) are just nothing but the winning... Read More

Magic Potions We All Need This Time of Year

As winter descends we begin to feel the chill of... Read More

How to Make $100,000 Dollars as a Personal Trainer ? Part C for Client!

My name is Greg Ryan. For the last twenty years... Read More

How to be Your Authentic Self

Most of us play many different roles in the course... Read More

Priorities: Are You Living Yours?

In the Charles Dickens classic, "The Christmas Story", Scrooge is... Read More

How to Solve Disputes with the Helicopter Talk Technique

Do you ever find that when a friend asks for... Read More

6 Practices for Achieving Excellent Self-Care

Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) often feel like they... Read More

How Can Sceptics Get the Proof They Need

Are you one of those folks that needs to figure-it-out... Read More

The Need to Feel Special

From the time Jennifer was a little child, she was... Read More

Business Career, Executive Coaching Article - Leadership: Understanding the Human Condition

"Nothing is more practical than for people to deepen themselves.... Read More

How To Deal With People Who Dislike You

When you read books on personal development and articles about... Read More

Simple Tips to Move Forward on the Job

Someone I know wants to move into another job in... Read More

The Power of Online Memberships

Have you ever noticed geese flying overhead, whether that be... Read More

Do You Want to Make More Money as A Life Coach

There's a lot of coaches out there not making any... Read More

Drop and Gimme Ten!

Every one of us have dreams, desires and goals that... Read More

How to Jump-start Your Emotional Health

You've probably heard the expression: "It's not what you're eating.... Read More

5 Keys to Powerful Communication

As a coach that specializes in marriage, couples and family... Read More

How to Get a Grip on Your Money

Most people have no idea where their money goes. They... Read More

Coaching for Results

He's a very successful sales manger who craves results. He... Read More

Overcoming Work Addiction

Why are you so busy? Do you really have too... Read More

Saying NO to Good Opportunities!

Tracey started her video production company 2 ½ years ago,... Read More