Judging by the extraordinarily positive reader response to Po Bronson's What Should I Do With My Life?, people are aching for a sympathetic outlook on their stories of career dissatisfaction. They tend to be their own harshest critics, often riddled with self-doubt and embarrassment about not getting this "career thing" right. Maintaining a constructive attitude is challenging. In spite of contrary statistics - such as, the average American changes jobs eight times over the course of his/her lifetime - we still tend to harbor the expectation that we "should" decide by our late 20's/early 30's what we want to do and follow that thread for the remainder of our working lives. As T. puts it, "My search for work I'm passionate about is regarded by my friends like a child's drawing that's put up on the refrigerator?isn't that cute!"
If you're in a career transition, what's the finger-pointing you're doing at yourself? Does any of these sound familiar?
If this were taking place in a courtroom instead of inside your head, your attorney would undoubtedly argue for extenuating circumstances. Ask yourself the following:
What did you learn in your formal education about making a good career choice?
When were you encouraged to match your abilities, values, and personality to career options, and shown how?
Would you ever consider marrying someone you hadn't dated first?
Are you ever told that what you're qualified to do something that earns a decent wage is not sufficient reason to keep doing it?
Do you know where you can get reinforcement for continuing to search for work you're passionate about?
Did you have models for matching changes in work with changes in life stage?
Did you know that having an identity crisis or upheaval every 10 years is considered normal and healthy, and identity is largely shaped by love and work?
Case rests. Support systems for people in career transition are lagging woefully behind the sea changes that are occurring in the way we do work. But you are ultimately responsible for your attitude. Every day, the single most important decision you make is your outlook toward your search. Here are some suggestions for maintaining positive momentum:
Don't be afraid to make a temporary job move, to buy time and diminish the financial pressure. You can use it to check out some components of your eventual choice.
Consider the territory between your ears ? worry, self-criticism, confusion ? a bad neighborhood. Don't hang out there alone. Talk with someone, a friend or a professional, who is more objective about you and your abilities than you are.
Don't shortchange your intuition. Trying to figure this out may not be the best way. Let some insights/hunches/visions come to you.
You're learning career development skills here. This will probably not be your final change.
Check out the Po Bronson's chatroom:http://groups.yahoo.com/group/life_goals. Your sense of being alone in your angst will dissolve.
And finally, here's a perspective I'd like to offer. Engaging courageously and wholeheartedly with the question "What should I do?" is the single most pro-active step you can take. After interviewing 900 people, Po concluded that the biggest obstacle to answering the question is guilt about taking it seriously. Work, when it's right, is how we forge our place in the world; the process of finding it clarifies and hones who we are and who we want to be. Asking the hard questions (What do I want? What impact do I want to have? Who do I want to become?) and giving time to the inner and outer research, is surely one of the most important life investments you can make.
About The Author
Nina Ham, certified coach and licensed psychotherapist, is principal of Success from the Inside Out, providing individual coaching and teleseminars to build the skills, attitudes and habits for sustainable success in your career or business. Mail to: Nina@womenssuccesscoach.com, subscribe in subject line, for free monthly e-zine, or visit http://www.SuccessfromtheInsideOut.com.
Our bodies are made of pure energy. With Quantum physics... Read More
As a manager you are constantly being asked to do... Read More
Recently, I saw an exhibition of paintings by a very... Read More
You got busy at work, got busy in your marriage,... Read More
Laughter may or may not be a shock, relieved, but... Read More
Can you recall a time where you utilized silence to... Read More
What is an ego? Well, in case you didn't know... Read More
In today's fast paced world, we are often confronted with... Read More
Do you realise that if you're green you're growing and... Read More
The war, taxes, the economy, increased health problems, crime on... Read More
He was just a teenager, but he was already displaying... Read More
Although many of us use self-help tools like affirmations, visualizations,... Read More
One day when I was in school, many years ago,... Read More
If you don't have the full support and understanding of... Read More
Perhaps no one better than a former U.S. president has... Read More
As a Life Coach I quickly identified most individuals wanted... Read More
Back in the 1920's when Polish-American entrepreneur Leo Gerstenzang invented... Read More
Disappointment is an inevitable part of home-based business. Clients won't... Read More
I was asked the other day : "Kate, is personality... Read More
Most people suffer from stress at some time during the... Read More
When you feel self-conscious it means you are putting too... Read More
Allen consulted with me because his wife of 18 years... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 15,... Read More
Organizations are finally creating cultures that support a work and... Read More
? Have you been working long hours? ? Have... Read More
IntroductionThese days in corporate sector, everybody is talking about the... Read More
Most of us know that assertiveness will get you further... Read More
"Part of what motivates me to write this book is... Read More
How often do you hear a parental voice in your... Read More
I'm almost always a calm and collected person. Or at... Read More
Feeling disappointed? It's time to float.The time-honored approach to disappointment... Read More
I don't know why, but it seems we trip over... Read More
WORDS THAT INSPIREA monthly quick shot to motivate you, in... Read More
I have been a member of a group called the... Read More
But people love being coached. It's respectful and considerate of... Read More
My name is Greg Ryan. For the last twenty years... Read More
Why should you bother to spend your valuable time learning... Read More
When I was first introduced to the profession of personal... Read More
I wrote you about four years ago, when my eight... Read More
Leaders today have many challenges when it comes to guiding... Read More
I'm a relationship coach and, unlike most, I deal with... Read More
Are you one of the millions of people who make... Read More
As a Life Coach I quickly identified most individuals wanted... Read More
If you know who I mean when I say Kwame,... Read More
The purpose of life is to live a life of... Read More
A recent study at the University of Florida found that... Read More
Most people have no idea where their money goes. They... Read More
Where I live there seems to be a a growing... Read More
What Is Your Definition of Success?If you want to create... Read More
We demand more from those who provide to us and... Read More
How are you smart?Let me count the ways.Harvard professor Howard... Read More
Do you find yourself striving upward in life yet making... Read More
My name is Greg Ryan. For the last twenty years... Read More
Thoughts are real things. As soon as you realize how... Read More
One of the three basic roles of leadership is the... Read More
Are you facing a difficult time in your life? Do... Read More
This morning I watched a news article about a young... Read More
Ellen was brought up to be invisible. She was taught... Read More
Have you ever thought about how sheep get lost? Even... Read More
I show my clients a way to answer the question,... Read More
I was asked the other day : "Kate, is personality... Read More
Is Having a Professional Coach a Solution to Optimizing your... Read More
When you invest your time in being a mentee you... Read More
Many people who come to my office say they have... Read More
Teachers enter the profession with the desire to help others,... Read More
The scenario?The company has decided it needs to eliminate costs.... Read More
Coaching |