Searching For Your Calling ? Quest or Curse?

Judging by the extraordinarily positive reader response to Po Bronson's What Should I Do With My Life?, people are aching for a sympathetic outlook on their stories of career dissatisfaction. They tend to be their own harshest critics, often riddled with self-doubt and embarrassment about not getting this "career thing" right. Maintaining a constructive attitude is challenging. In spite of contrary statistics - such as, the average American changes jobs eight times over the course of his/her lifetime - we still tend to harbor the expectation that we "should" decide by our late 20's/early 30's what we want to do and follow that thread for the remainder of our working lives. As T. puts it, "My search for work I'm passionate about is regarded by my friends like a child's drawing that's put up on the refrigerator?isn't that cute!"

If you're in a career transition, what's the finger-pointing you're doing at yourself? Does any of these sound familiar?

• If it doesn't look good on my resume, it doesn't count

• Maybe I should stop worrying about my calling and get a job

• I've never been happy in a job?I need to look elsewhere for fulfillment

• I have responsibilities. I can't afford to look for work I love

• What if I find my dream job and I'm still dissatisfied?

• How will I explain to people??

If this were taking place in a courtroom instead of inside your head, your attorney would undoubtedly argue for extenuating circumstances. Ask yourself the following:

What did you learn in your formal education about making a good career choice?

When were you encouraged to match your abilities, values, and personality to career options, and shown how?

Would you ever consider marrying someone you hadn't dated first?

Are you ever told that what you're qualified to do something that earns a decent wage is not sufficient reason to keep doing it?

Do you know where you can get reinforcement for continuing to search for work you're passionate about?

Did you have models for matching changes in work with changes in life stage?

Did you know that having an identity crisis or upheaval every 10 years is considered normal and healthy, and identity is largely shaped by love and work?

Case rests. Support systems for people in career transition are lagging woefully behind the sea changes that are occurring in the way we do work. But you are ultimately responsible for your attitude. Every day, the single most important decision you make is your outlook toward your search. Here are some suggestions for maintaining positive momentum:

Don't be afraid to make a temporary job move, to buy time and diminish the financial pressure. You can use it to check out some components of your eventual choice.

Consider the territory between your ears ? worry, self-criticism, confusion ? a bad neighborhood. Don't hang out there alone. Talk with someone, a friend or a professional, who is more objective about you and your abilities than you are.

Don't shortchange your intuition. Trying to figure this out may not be the best way. Let some insights/hunches/visions come to you.

You're learning career development skills here. This will probably not be your final change.

Check out the Po Bronson's chatroom:http://groups.yahoo.com/group/life_goals. Your sense of being alone in your angst will dissolve.

And finally, here's a perspective I'd like to offer. Engaging courageously and wholeheartedly with the question "What should I do?" is the single most pro-active step you can take. After interviewing 900 people, Po concluded that the biggest obstacle to answering the question is guilt about taking it seriously. Work, when it's right, is how we forge our place in the world; the process of finding it clarifies and hones who we are and who we want to be. Asking the hard questions (What do I want? What impact do I want to have? Who do I want to become?) and giving time to the inner and outer research, is surely one of the most important life investments you can make.

About The Author

Nina Ham, certified coach and licensed psychotherapist, is principal of Success from the Inside Out, providing individual coaching and teleseminars to build the skills, attitudes and habits for sustainable success in your career or business. Mail to: Nina@womenssuccesscoach.com, subscribe in subject line, for free monthly e-zine, or visit http://www.SuccessfromtheInsideOut.com.

Nina@womenssuccesscoach.com

---

Your Mindset Determines Your Success in Life

To keep at the top of your game you have... Read More

Be A Champion Communicator by Becoming a Chameleon

Recently, I worked with a client who was having a... Read More

Leadership Coaching at Gettysburg

The battle at Gettysburg is one of the most notable... Read More

Are You Addicted To Your Activities?

Activities - such as sports, creative projects, reading, work, TV,... Read More

I Give Free Consultations... So, Why Dont They Hire Me?

I show my clients a way to answer the question,... Read More

Time Travel

Let me quote something you wrote. "When you reach the... Read More

Learn to Say No!

How many times have you agreed to do something that... Read More

The Difference Between Approval and Appreciation

Having worked with individuals, couples, families and business partners for... Read More

Change the Words and Change the World

Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve... Read More

Strategic Checklists

I've been through a couple of checklists in the past... Read More

Discover The Coach Within You

One of the three basic roles of leadership is the... Read More

Masterminding Success - How to Start a Masterminding Meeting?

Masterminding is about a group of like-minded, achievement-oriented individuals who... Read More

How to Effectively Balance Your Work and Family Life

What Is Your Definition of Success?If you want to create... Read More

3 Secrets to Developing Superior People Skills

1. If What You Are Doing Is Not Working Change... Read More

Truth About Life Coaching School Accreditation

With life coaching becoming "the" career choice in this millennium,... Read More

Ten Ways to Make New Years Resolutions That You Can Actually Keep!

Are you one of the millions of people who make... Read More

4 Steps to Successful Goal-Setting

Successful people have always had clear, focused goals that guide... Read More

Fear Is Nothing To Be Afraid Of!

What do you do when fear shows up? Do you... Read More

Be The One With Something Interesting To Say

How Do You Learn Something New?If you could learn fast... Read More

Transform Your Image And Accelerate Your Success

Being a lifelong student, I am regularly attending seminars etc.... Read More

Top Ten Reasons to Hire a Personal Coach

Have you considered hiring a personal coach? Jack Canfield, in... Read More

Become More Self-Confident

Signs of Self-ConfidenceLet's explore the meaning of self-confidence by taking... Read More

The Rewards and Risks Of Personal Freedom

We all need to decide whether to "play it safe"... Read More

Personal Power

All of us would love to have personal power ?... Read More

7 Steps to Take Control of Your Life

Taking control of your life is getting in touch with... Read More

An Example of Allowing a Desire to Arrive on Its Own

I don't know why, but it seems we trip over... Read More

Profitable Idea Generation in 4 Steps Using Improv

A large percentage of business are stuck, tied to narrow... Read More

Four Common Rapport Building Mistakes and How to Fix Them

1. Pretending You Are Interested When You Are NotDo yourself... Read More

Coaching May Be For You

Are you looking for someone who will hold you accountable... Read More

Coaching is Asking the Right Questions

Have you ever known anyone who asked themselves "Why me?"... Read More

The Benefits of Coaching

When I was first introduced to the profession of personal... Read More

A Numbers Game!

Three years ago, Paul left his corporate job to launch... Read More

COACHING: When it?s Beyond Oprah and Dr. Phil

How many more servings of the daytime self-help salad will... Read More