Be A Champion Communicator by Becoming a Chameleon

Recently, I worked with a client who was having a problem with some of the women in her organization. The organization had just undergone major changes, which resulted in different reporting relationships for many of the women. The problem was that the women were having trouble effectively communicating with their new bosses.

Before the changes, the women were able to work with their supervisors very successfully. They and their supervisors shared similar communication styles, so they complemented each other quite well. However, when the women were reassigned, their communication styles differed dramatically from those of their new supervisors. Instead of being able to get along with their new bosses, they experienced a lot of conflict every time they spoke to them.

What happened? Why were these women who were so successful in dealing with one type of person having so much trouble dealing with a different type of person? It is because the communication styles no longer matched and when styles don't match, problems are almost certain to develop. (One point worth mentioning ? while we are talking about women in this situation, this problem occurs equally as often with men if they mismatch the people with whom they are communicating).

Many of us make a critical mistake when we interact with others. We believe that everyone perceives the world the same way we do. This assumption can lead to strained relationships, conflict, or worse. People are different and while we may find a large number of people who are like us, we will find an even greater number of people who are not like us.

People make unconscious decisions about whether or not they feel comfortable with us. If our styles of communicating are like theirs, we can usually develop rapport with them easily. However, if our styles are very different from theirs, they feel an unconsciousness sense of tension whenever we are around. Tension between people usually does not lead to successful interactions.

To be champion communicators, we need to change our approach to match the specific style of each individual we wish to influence. This is a powerful way to get people to feel comfortable with us; when people are comfortable with us, they are more willing to be open to what we have to say. There are four major communication styles. While everyone has some of each style incorporated into his or her own unique personality, each of us has a predominant style.

Amiables ? Are very cooperative, they get along with others, they are self-controlled, systematic, stable, patient, perseverant, accommodating, and logical. They are motivated by feeling secure, being part of a team, and feeling appreciated. They dislike conflict, taking risks and change.

Analyticals - Are rational, detail oriented, organized, unemotional, process-oriented, logical, and cautious. They are motivated by being right, doing things themselves, and being noticed for their accuracy. They dislike aggressiveness, conflict, or being forced to make quick decisions.

Drivers - Are aggressive, impatient, and results oriented. They are motivated by being in control, being number one, having personal choices, fast actions, and change. They dislike details, long drawn out conversations, and not being in charge.

Expressives - Are friendly, talkative, emotional, optimistic, people oriented, and enthusiastic. They are motivated by being liked, having fun, being noticed, and receiving approval. They dislike conflict, details, and focusing only on the business at hand.

When you recognize someone's predominant style (especially if it differs from your own), use that style when communicating with him or her. Going back to our example with the women who were reassigned, most of them used an amiable approach, which is somewhat slow paced. However, most of their new supervisors were drivers who wanted information quickly and succinctly. After learning about different communication styles, the women used a quicker, more results oriented approach with their bosses and they were able to work together successfully.

A champion is someone who can be successful no matter what the circumstances. By adopting a chameleon communication strategy, you can change your style to match the person you are with and then you can be a champion too.

Della Menechella is a speaker, author, and trainer who helps organizations achieve greater success by improving the performance of their people. She is a contributing author to Thriving in the Midst of Change and the author of the videotape The Twelve Commandments of Goal Setting. She can be reached at della@dellamenechella.com. Subscribe to free Peak Performance Pointers e-zine - send blank e-mail to subscribe@dellamenechella.com.

---

Home For The Holidays

In my husband's family, family members send Christmas cards to... Read More

Our Worst Enemy

Who do you consider as your worst enemy? The criminals... Read More

Crisis: Danger or Opportunity?

I have often heard motivational speakers say that the word... Read More

Plug in Your Systems for Success

Have you ever noticed that so many of us who... Read More

Passport to Passion

Passion is a feeling of excitement and intensity. The energy... Read More

5 Steps to Derail Difficult People - Your Surefire Way to a Peaceful Resolution

That one guy at work that always has to be... Read More

The X-factor

Would you agree that today most of us have the... Read More

Mind the Gap

The underground train in London can get you anywhere when... Read More

Saying NO to Good Opportunities!

Tracey started her video production company 2 ½ years ago,... Read More

The Student Who Knew Too Much

This article is for those of you who coach or... Read More

Say Adios to the Fear of Rejection!

Do you ever get an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach... Read More

Is Your Attitude Destroying Your Health?

A positive attitude may bring good health and success. If... Read More

Guilt By Association & Wealth By It Too!

"Tell me what company thou keepst, and I'll tell thee... Read More

A Perrverse Confidante

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 15,... Read More

5 Minute Morning Balance Ritual

"3 Questions, 5 Minutes a Day: Make leaps towards greater... Read More

7 Destructive Habits of Incompetent People

WARNING! If you want to have a fantastic life, never... Read More

Finding Peace: A Taste of Mindfulness

When we are ill and don't know it, we are... Read More

Is The Apprentice Bad For Your Health?

If you know who I mean when I say Kwame,... Read More

Mentors and Coaches: How to Be a Great Mentee or Learner

When you invest your time in being a mentee you... Read More

Can Versus Cant

It is my personal opinion that there are two words... Read More

The Story ?From the Chicken Coop??

Many years ago my grandfather, had a small farm and... Read More

Solution-Focused Therapy

Most types of psychotherapy involve exploring feelings, being validated, finding... Read More

Ten Benefits of Having a Relationship Coach

As a Master Certified Relationship Coach, I work with singles... Read More

Do you know WHAT MAKES ME MAD?? It makes me SO MAD I just want to...

Sound familiar? If you want to manage anger, the only... Read More

7 Steps to Take Control of Your Life

Taking control of your life is getting in touch with... Read More

What is Life Coaching?

An recent article in Money Magazine said that "A coach... Read More

Skills for Change

The name of the game is CHANGE -- that's true... Read More

Are You A Work Addict?

Work addiction is very common in our society today, yet... Read More

Executive Coaching -The Business Benefits

Executive coaching is an investment for you and your business... Read More

Coaching Skills

IntroductionThe question for leaders in organizations today is how do... Read More

Top Ten Things to Build a Bridge and Get Over

God must love Top Ten lists because she made so... Read More

Strategic Checklists

I've been through a couple of checklists in the past... Read More

Think Twice Before Youre Nice

A few months back I had a disturbing dream. In... Read More