The Enchantment of Tribes to Belong To

I am remembering and have a desire to share with you, a beautiful story told to me by a young lady. It was the end of the World War II and her dad was returning home. He came from a very close network of Italian families that lived near each other in New Jersey.

He had a ride back from where his ship had docked. Of course he was filled with emotion as he came closer and closer to home. Suddenly, about five miles from home, he asked to be dropped off. He had decided to walk the last few miles himself and give himself time to emotionally "arrive". He wanted to savor every moment of coming home! This was a time to feel the essence of the town he came from, to savor pleasant memories of growing up as he walked and to allow his anticipation to build even further. Every step took him closer to friends and loved ones! He looked at every tree. He enjoyed every house he passed. He didn't even feel the weight of his duffel bag flung over his shoulder. He took his time walking. His parents knew that he was coming home soon, but they didn't know exactly when. Thank G-d he was alive! That knowledge was enough to sustain them.

Meanwhile, as he walked several people recognized him. Some called out "hello" and several ran up to him and hugged him. He was offered rides, but refused. However, behind closed doors the magic began. As he passed by these people, the news was quickly transmitted on the telephone that he was coming! Joe's son was home from the war. Pass the word. And they did.

By the time he got down to his street the street was filled with friends and family waiting for him. Would you believe several hundred? People shouted and clapped. He was hugged and kissed. His bag was taken from him. Everyone wanted to be near him. "Make room for Joe and Rosie! For goodness sake, let them get near their own son!" He literally had to work his way through the crowd of neighbors and other relatives to fall into the arms of his mom and dad. How good it felt to be held again by the two people who loved him so much! And where was that pretty young woman that he meant to look up now that he was home? Oh, well, that would have to wait at least one more day. The rest of today was filled with fresh Italian foods, wine, hugs, stories and a place to come home too.

What a beautiful story. We all need a place to come home to--a place to be loved, to feel connected and with purpose. In The Enchanted Self I teach about belonging to tribes and how important it is. I even feel the energy of the tribe that this young man belonged to and I wasn't there. The positive energy was so strong that it not only filled his granddaughter--and could still be transmitted to me--and I hope to you.

He needed his tribe and his tribe needed him. He needed his time to re-enter. The energies connecting him and his tribe were so strong that he could not just be dropped off. He had to re-enter slowly at first and prepared himself for the intensity of connection. His tribe likewise prepared itself by a wonderful signal system--smoke coming up in puffs on the desert. The system worked so well that by the time he arrived a celebration was already up and running.

Tribes are our gift to ourselves. They offer us a gateway so we can come back again and again. They offer us a signal system so that the important things are transmitted in a timely fashion, and they offer us the welcoming arms that help us belong, feel appreciated and have a place. May each of us have the gift of the right tribes in our lives.

About The Author

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, downloadable e-books, and free gifts at http://www.enchantedself.com. Chat with others in Dr. Holstein's e-group, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself/join, and sign up for her free e-group at www.enchantedself.com. Order her book, THE ENCHANTED SELF: A Positive Therapy, or the CD-rom or tape version and her book RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT: The Secret Ingredient is YOU!, or the ED-rom version, at http://www.enchantedself.com/ordering/ordering.htm.

encself@aol.com

---

What Does It Take To Have It All In Life?

Many people have asked me why I wrote my book,... Read More

Truth About Life Coaching School Accreditation

With life coaching becoming "the" career choice in this millennium,... Read More

How to Choose the Right Coach for You

So you want to hire a coach but with so... Read More

Have a World-Changing Conversation

I know what you're thinking? "Here I am, completely stressed... Read More

Strategic Checklists

I've been through a couple of checklists in the past... Read More

Can I Be My Own ADD Coach?

Quite often I am in contact with people who discuss... Read More

The Right Time and Place

(Channelled)Roy?I am sending you this quote from Sōtō Zen, Dōgen's... Read More

COACHING: When it?s Beyond Oprah and Dr. Phil

How many more servings of the daytime self-help salad will... Read More

Reduce Anxiety About Decison Making

What's the alternative to making decisions?Allowing someone else, or circumstances,... Read More

Coaching for Physicians

Is Having a Professional Coach a Solution to Optimizing your... Read More

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: How Do You Change the World?

Recently, I saw an exhibition of paintings by a very... Read More

Eureka! I?ve Found It!

OK, so it wasn't quite that big of a deal.... Read More

The Student Who Knew Too Much

This article is for those of you who coach or... Read More

How to Adopt a Losing Attitude

We have all heard the expression, "Where your heart is?,... Read More

Coaching is Asking the Right Questions

Have you ever known anyone who asked themselves "Why me?"... Read More

How to Solve Disputes with the Helicopter Talk Technique

Do you ever find that when a friend asks for... Read More

The Role of Grief Group Facilitators

Technically, there are two types of grief groups. Informational and... Read More

Top Ways to Maximize Your Talents at Work

Are you maximizing your strengths and promoting your talents at... Read More

Let?s Say You?re a Dog. Are You So Competitive You?d Eat a Carrot?

Seems like a gal always learns something out on the... Read More

Why Daily Planning is So Important for Adults with ADD

For adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), details are a... Read More

How to Forgive Another for Past Hurts

No one gets through life without being hurt by another... Read More

Mailey?s Introspections [Monday, December 6th 2005]

As I work with clients as their introspective Inner Peace/Relationship... Read More

Cause and Effect! Choose a Path

Three steps to your Personal Transformation:Awareness and PerceptionLaw of Cause... Read More

The Power of Online Memberships

Have you ever noticed geese flying overhead, whether that be... Read More

What You See is What You Get

H. Jackson Brown Jr. once wrote, Your mind can only... Read More

Plug in Your Systems for Success

Have you ever noticed that so many of us who... Read More

4 Quick, Easy Ways to Say No to People Who Take You for Granted

No matter how wonderful you are sometimes other people will... Read More

Solution-Focused Therapy

Most types of psychotherapy involve exploring feelings, being validated, finding... Read More

What Can Be Changed In Management To Improve Bottom Line Results?

If you don't have the full support and understanding of... Read More

Two Leadership Strategies: Don?t Lose Your Mind & Be a Coach

Are you feeling overwhelmed, a lack of confidence or under... Read More

How to Deal Effectively with Anxiety

Every human feels anxiety on occasion; it is a part... Read More

Use a Journal for Self-Discovery and Self-Expression

As a therapist, I often suggest to clients that they... Read More

How Coaches Find Clients Online

At a recent networking meeting Jana asked for a recommendation... Read More