Poor Rixs Almanac 8-13-05

Dear Poor Rix: A guy just invited me to a football game. I do not understand this event. Can you explain it? -- Sport WatcherThis game begins with the entrance of referees, people with striped shirts who enforce the rules. Occasionally, someone with striped shirt and long stick may appear,... Read More

The Top 10 All Time Worst Jokes About Piano Players

Here, for your barfing pleasure, are the top ten worst jokes of all time about piano players. Nothing personal, you understand, since I am one. But a little comic relief laughing at ourselves is good for both our soul and our humility.So without further ado, here are some of the... Read More

The Patience of Job

Voltaire said, "God is a comedian playing to an audience afraid to laugh." Translated, if you're a tight ass, there's a two drink minimum to read this article. Let me just say, I believe in God but like many, I've questioned His existence. Most people... Read More

The Work-from-home Fashion Primer

Last week, I reported how writers, stay-at-home parents and online marketing geeks had chosen careers as hermits:http://www.thehappyguy.com/hermit.htmlThousands of work-from-home hermits responded, confessing that they were wearing their pajamas while reading my column. Fortunately very few sent me photos. Here are some of the questions they asked:Q: Is it... Read More

Miss Cleo Was a Fake... NO - Really? YES Maaan!

With her Jamaican accent Miss Cleo, a self proclaimed psychic and shaman would give you the answers to all life's mysteries... for up to 9.95 per minute.Turns out, Miss Cleo was not born in Jamaica at all. A birth certificate showing that Miss Cleo was in reality Youree Dell Harris,... Read More

A Dogs Guide To... Getting Your Dog to Stop Barking

I like to bark. I mean, I like to bark A LOT. So, whattya gonna do about it? Well, if you're Amber and Terry, you're going to do NOTHING about it. Ain't nobody going to silence the Rubinman, you know what I'm sayin'? If you're NOT Amber and Terry, though... Read More

When Humans and Dogs Collide: Negotiations for Todays Changing Times

This morning I decided to find myself. I originally looked forward to the spiritual journey that would define who I was as a person. But then I looked into my mirror and realized that the person I saw in that mirror was me. So I then figured, why spend all... Read More

Got Originality?

There are many ways to be original these days. But unfortunately I cannot reveal any of these ways because the followers would then not be original, would they? Now, I realize that somewhere between one to two people would have followed the advice I gave, but just in case my... Read More

How I Spent my Summer Vacation

One of the best parts of a vacation is the positive outlook you derive from pleasant anticipation. Another benefit is the afterglow, allowing you to feel right with the world. A general guideline I have is to live in the present and not yearn too heavily for the past or... Read More

Pee Here Now

Several years ago, I switched health insurance companies and my new insurer sent a uniformed nurse with short black hair to my house to conduct a health assessment. We sat at my kitchen table and she officiously asked questions about my health history."Diabetes?" she asked, as if accusing me of... Read More

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Nine Movies That Make You Want To Yell, Stop Saying That

Movie moments are nice things to share with the people... Read More

A Dogs Guide To... Getting Your Dog to Stop Barking

I like to bark. I mean, I like to bark... Read More

Internet is My True Agent

You know the type -- that doodling type. Every time... Read More

Maybelle Misfire Joins Mega Corp

To: Maybelle Misfire From: I. M.. Power, VP Welcome aboard!... Read More

Dog Poo - And You Thought You Had Problems

In Southern Germany in a town by the name of... Read More

New Orleans First to Experience Housing Bubble Burst

Are we starting to see the Housing Bubble Burst in... Read More

Mexican Spaminator

When we decided to move to Mexico, one of the... Read More

Your Stars Part 3

LibraHit TV show 'The X Factor' is back on our... Read More

Do Americans Really Understand Irony?

Let me start by saying that 'I am an American'... Read More

Psychiatric Psychiatrist - A Joke on Psychiatry

A few weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist.We... Read More

Short Story: Take a Trip To The Temple Of The Great Tomato

Jimmy Jenkins Jr. is not an adventurer, traveler, or pioneer.... Read More

Valet Parking: Theft with Consent

This column is long overdue. To put it in library... Read More

The Restaurant Chronicles, Part 1

Have you ever heard that saying, "The show must go... Read More

How To Get Attention, or: As You Read This, You Feel an Irresistible Urge to Go On Reading!

We all want attention. As children we crave the attention... Read More

If Real People Ran the Bank - I (a spoof for the heart)

Banish Loans ForeverIf ordinary, hard-working, people ran the bank... the... Read More

Used Condom Found In Restaurant Salad Bar; Waiter Embarrassed To Tears

Evidence of after-hours activity turned up at a Big Boy... Read More

Its All About Seeing the Signs

Ace of Base hasn't seen the sign for quite some... Read More

11 Alternative Garden Games

Tired of the same ol', same ol' when it come... Read More

The Army Corp of Engineers Having Issues Fixing Breach

The Army Corp of engineers is having a tough time... Read More

How To Marry A Wealthy Guy

How To Marry A Wealthy Guy(or Girl... Or at least... Read More

Health Club Regulars ?- Some of the People Youre Likely To Meet at the Gym

One of the great benefits of belonging to a health... Read More

Voodoo Munchies

Looking for a lighthearted and fun way to remove the... Read More

3 Surefire Ways To Combat Rising Gas Prices

I have heard the rumblings of many of you in... Read More

Bad Days and Bad Timing

Have you ever noticed how family members always misbehave at... Read More

Beyond Black and White

Over visiting a neighbor the other day?"Would you like a... Read More

Cheer-Leadership or All I Need to Know About Business I Learned from Cheerleading

Thanks to teen movies, many people have this stereotypical idea... Read More

Miss Cleo Was a Fake... NO - Really? YES Maaan!

With her Jamaican accent Miss Cleo, a self proclaimed psychic... Read More

Finding Lost Children

A couple of days ago I had to go to... Read More

How I Spent my Summer Vacation

One of the best parts of a vacation is the... Read More

How to Build a Cobblestone House

He huffed and he puffed and he blew the house... Read More

The Hidden Driveway

I won't lie: there are a lot of things I... Read More

I Got to Play an April Fools Joke Before I was Born

I will start this by saying that yes, I did... Read More

The Language of Appalachia

Imagine my surprise when I went to Jamaica a few... Read More