Restaurant Manager Gives Out Sexual Favors As Performance Bonus, Raise

While many restaurant workers worry and sweat in anticipation of an imminent job-related performance review, employees at Applebee's in Westland have adopted an entirely different attitude toward the employment evaluation process. This is due in no small part to the fact that the general manager, Lisa Blanco, rewards superior employee performance the old fashion way.

"We have the lowest turnover rate in the company," said Blanco, beaming. "I'm proud of the fact that when I get an employee, I know how to keep that employee happy and productive."

Blanco started this unusual practice with her subordinates about five years ago, shortly after being promoted to management and immediately after her first husband died. This particular motivational technique is, however, deeply ingrained in her nature, and has served her well in many other areas, and at many other times in her life.

"When I was a waitress with this, and other, companies," said Blanco, "I loved my job, and I was continually looking for ways to increase my tips while making the customer happy. Hell, I remember understanding this philosophy way back in high school. I learned there had to be balance, it had to be a win/win situation for everybody...I've always had high values and integrity. I learned that to get what I want it only made sense that I needed to give the customer what he wants, and I knew I already gave above-average service. Now I needed to give above-average head."

Blanco's track record is excellent. Her store outperforms virtually every other Applebee's in Michigan -- and is consistently in the top-five out of all the Applebee's in the country -- in sales, service, customer satisfaction, product quality, penmanship and, for obvious reasons, employee satisfaction. In addition, her restaurant has maintained almost the exact same staff for the last three years, well beyond any previous company records.

"Yeah, it took me a couple of years to get to know my staff," said Blanco, absently stroking an Applebee's pen while gazing reflectively into the distance. "Working in a busy restaurant can be a high-pressure experience. We are a melting pot of diverse personalities, working under often stressful circumstances. You never know how someone is going to react.

"I learned their likes and dislikes, and what motivated them to the point that they'd willingly give me that something extra...that, whatever it is that comes out at that moment of truth when they've reached the point of maximum heightened activity. Is it hot in here?"

Not that her employees are complaining. Several suggested to the corporate office that Blanco's philosophy be adopted company-wide, and because of those suggestions two senior corporate managers plan a visit to observe, and possibly make recommendations, later this month.

"It's great timing," said Larry Ward, who was brought over by Blanco after working with her at another restaurant. "I think most of us are up for review right around the time those big-wigs are supposed to be here. They get to see hands-on what gives us such a strong unit. Sure, we go against almost every modern axiom pertaining to manager/employee relations, but she took the single most important principle -- keeping your employees happy -- and she does it better than anyone else could ever dream."

Said Ward, "While everyone else is looking outside the box, we're all looking inside hers."

After over 12 years as a waiter and bartender, Dennis Rymarz walked completely away from the business and launched Don't Tip the Waiter, a one-of-a-kind satirical publication that reports fictional news and events from the restaurant industry.

Initially intended specifically for servers and bartenders, the publication is now read by a rapidly growing audience that includes just about anyone who goes out to eat.

Don't Tip the Waiter is distributed free-of-charge to bars and restaurants in the Detroit area, and can be read on line at http://donttipthewaiter.com

---

Saving SpongeBob Using High Tech

Put Active RFID Satellite Tags in SpongeBobsSpongeBob has been in... Read More

Poor Rixs Almanac 8-13-05

Dear Poor Rix: A guy just invited me to a... Read More

Short Story: Take a Trip To The Temple Of The Great Tomato

Jimmy Jenkins Jr. is not an adventurer, traveler, or pioneer.... Read More

Tales of a Spectator Spectator

Watching the fans at a minor-league baseball game is just... Read More

Stopping Bad Breath Bart

"Pee-ew! You smell like a skunk soaking in sardine nectar... Read More

Sweet Vengeance Purrfected

I love animals but cats are my favorites. There's just... Read More

Discover the Lighter Side of the Internet

We all know the Internet is a great tool for... Read More

Cheer-Leadership or All I Need to Know About Business I Learned from Cheerleading

Thanks to teen movies, many people have this stereotypical idea... Read More

Do Americans Really Understand Irony?

Let me start by saying that 'I am an American'... Read More

Bad Days and Bad Timing

Have you ever noticed how family members always misbehave at... Read More

Voodoo Munchies

Looking for a lighthearted and fun way to remove the... Read More

New Orleans First to Experience Housing Bubble Burst

Are we starting to see the Housing Bubble Burst in... Read More

Fried Green Tomatoes Recipe

My next-door neighbors found a human bone in their backyard.... Read More

To See Or Not To See

I went to the eye doctor the other day. I... Read More

Poor Rixs Almanac 8-27-05

Hey, Poor Rix: What do you think about school food?... Read More

The Language of Appalachia

Imagine my surprise when I went to Jamaica a few... Read More

How To Marry A Wealthy Guy

How To Marry A Wealthy Guy(or Girl... Or at least... Read More

The Worlds First Comedian?

If you ever saw Aristophanes live on stage, you must... Read More

Finding Lost Children

A couple of days ago I had to go to... Read More

When It Rains, It Pours: Creating a Plan

It's time for me to announce that I have a... Read More

The Patience of Job

Voltaire said, "God is a comedian playing to an... Read More

Its All About Seeing the Signs

Ace of Base hasn't seen the sign for quite some... Read More

Freudian Slippage

Saturday morning. I went, in the early morning, to the... Read More

A Lawyers Favorite Lawyer Jokes

Lawyer JokesQ: How does a pregnant woman know she is... Read More

Bed Bugs Bite

I just turned on the news a minute ago and... Read More

When Humans and Dogs Collide: Negotiations for Todays Changing Times

This morning I decided to find myself. I originally looked... Read More

Mexican Spaminator

When we decided to move to Mexico, one of the... Read More

Humor Quotations - Top 35 Funny Quotations by Famous Comedians

"Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with... Read More

The Top 10 All Time Worst Jokes About Piano Players

Here, for your barfing pleasure, are the top ten worst... Read More

Essential Laughter

Take time to laugh at yourself and the ridiculous in... Read More

Health Club Regulars ?- Some of the People Youre Likely To Meet at the Gym

One of the great benefits of belonging to a health... Read More

Norm Goldman Interviews Comedienne Fran Capo,the Guinness Book Worlds Record for the Fastest Talking

Today, Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel & Bookpleasures is delighted... Read More

The Spare Parts Gremlins

Don't you just love getting a little something extra? Sure... Read More