A World of Possibility

When I started my sales career over 25 years ago, I worked for a small company selling telephone answering equipment. Hard to believe it but in those days I had to explain to prospects what the equipment was for and why they might want to use it.

The company I worked for got business in several different ways. First each of the 4 sales people handled incoming calls and also made calls to people he/she thought could use the equipment. The company advertised so sometimes people called in to inquire about the products we offered. Finally the manufacturers of the equipment sent the company names of people (leads) who called the manufacturer because they were interested in the equipment.

No one particularly liked making cold calls so if we could get an incoming call we took it hoping it was a potential customer. Cold calling was part of the job however so I learned to do it in a way that made it a game. One of the other sales people really hated making the calls so he very rarely made any.

Instead of calling, this fellow would complain to whoever was available that the company didn't provide good leads, that the company should advertise more so people would know what the equipment was, and that the company should move its location to a high traffic mall so we would get walk in traffic. (We were located in a building that housed the mattress factory of the parents of the owner!)

Needless to say he didn't make many sales but it always struck me that he truly believed the problem was with the company not with himself.

Jack Canfield in his book "The Success Principles" says, "If you want to be successful, you have to take 100% responsibility for everything that you experience in your life. This includes the level of your achievements, the results you produce, the quality of your relationships, the state of your health and physical fitness, your income, your debts, your feelings-everything!"

The fellow may have been right about the company and its support (or lack of support) of sales but he couldn't change that. It didn't help any of us that he continually complained about the leads, location, and lack of advertising. He needed to take responsibility for his own sales process and begin to think about possibilities not problems.

Instead the focus on the problems put him in a negative mood so that he was somewhat snide when he talked to potential customers. Needless to say they rarely bought from him. His negative mood made him totally unattractive to the rest of us. I knew that I couldn't talk with him too often or I would also get caught up in his negativity.

My colleague's conversation is what Ben Zander and Rosamund Stone Zander call "downward spiral talk". They say in the book "The Art of Possibility", "Focusing on the abstraction of scarcity, downward spiral talk creates an unassailable story about the limits to what is possible and tells us compellingly how things are going from bad to worse."

Obviously it would be good to stop that kind of talk-if you can. This can be difficult especially if you are paid to find the problems with something. Lawyers look for holes in the other person's case, engineers look for problems to solve, and accountants often look for ways the numbers don't work.

There is energy in finding what is wrong with something. The key is to use that energy even if the use is to write a report or argue a case. My colleague needed to take the energy of his negativity and use that energy to find innovative ways to make the job interesting. That is what I had done when I made a game of it. Getting stuck in the negativity makes you a victim of circumstances rather than being 100% responsible for your own results.

Take Action:

1. Where are you being negative? Are you aware of a downward spiral talk in your work? How can you use the energy of the talk in a different way?

2. Read "The Art of Possibility" by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander and "The Success Principles" by Jack Canfield.

3. Another perspective on the issue of negativity: Julie Norem's The Positive Power of Negative Thinking: Using Defensive Pessimism to Harness Anxiety and Perform at Your Peak. Take a look at this book and website: http://www.defensivepessimism.com/

4. David Caruso and Peter Solovay in their book The Emotionally Intelligent Manager give these four key emotional skills:

a. Identifying Emotion: Emotions contain critical information and data.

b. Using Emotion: Different emotions help our thinking in different ways.

c. Understanding Emotion: Emotions follow a logical pattern, if you know how to look at them.

d. Managing Emotion: You cannot be effective without the wisdom of emotions.

How might these skills help you with downward spiral talk?

Alvah Parker is a Business and Career Coach as well as publisher of Parker's Points, an email tip list and Road to Success, an ezine. Parker's Value Program© enables her clients to find their own way to work that is more fulfilling and profitable. Her clients are managers, business owners, sole practioners, attorneys and people in transition. Alvah is found on the web at http://www.asparker.com. She may also be reached at 781-598-0388.

---

The Tolerance Effect

While working with a client several months ago, we went... Read More

Discover The Coach Within You

One of the three basic roles of leadership is the... Read More

Top Ten Tips for Living Authentically

1. Know your purposeAre you wandering through life with little... Read More

The Harvest: Shared Power

The fall harvest comes upon us once a year. The... Read More

A World of Possibility

When I started my sales career over 25 years ago,... Read More

Theres Gold in that Silence

Can you recall a time where you utilized silence to... Read More

3 Easy Steps to Low Stress Communication

Life is all about choices. And so is the way... Read More

Two Pillows and One Dead Husband

That's what I needed when I delved deeply into my... Read More

The Incredible Rightness of Being

An Age-Old QuestionSearching for more meaning in our lives has... Read More

Do You Ever Give Up Coaching Employees?

In principle, we don't want to give up coaching employees.... Read More

Coaches, Do You Make These 7 Deadly Cash Flow Mistakes in Your Practice?

Managing cash flow is every small business owner's most important... Read More

Control, Helplessness, and Love

During my 35 years of counseling individuals, couples, families and... Read More

We Are the Five People We Associate with Most

Last month I was invited to participate in a charity... Read More

Is The Apprentice Bad For Your Health?

If you know who I mean when I say Kwame,... Read More

Being an Emotional Victim

None of us like to think of ourselves as victims.... Read More

The Pitfalls of Procrastination

We all put off making decisions and taking action sometimes... Read More

Coaching for Success

Coaching is perhaps the most effective method of increasing performance... Read More

How to Create Your Ideal Life - Excerpt from Individual Power

When I lost it all, I felt powerless. During my... Read More

Coaching May Be For You

Are you looking for someone who will hold you accountable... Read More

Making Changes in Your Personal Life

Making changes in your personal life can be a tough... Read More

Guilt: Is it Getting in the Way of Your Self-Care?

When Do We Usually Feel Guilty? When:We're not feeling ok... Read More

Emotional Dependency or Emotional Responsibility

Emotional dependency means getting one's good feelings from outside oneself.... Read More

5 Keys to Powerful Communication

As a coach that specializes in marriage, couples and family... Read More

How Coaches Find Clients Online

At a recent networking meeting Jana asked for a recommendation... Read More

The Amazing Secret To Ridding Yourself Of Self Consciousness

One of the biggest challenges to developing superior communication skills... Read More

Choosing an Apprentice

Along the path from where you are now to millions... Read More

Relaxation Couldnt Be Simpler

Many people use their sofa and TV to help them... Read More

Coaching Skills

IntroductionThe question for leaders in organizations today is how do... Read More

4 Quick, Easy Ways to Say No to People Who Take You for Granted

No matter how wonderful you are sometimes other people will... Read More

Let?s Say You?re a Dog. Are You So Competitive You?d Eat a Carrot?

Seems like a gal always learns something out on the... Read More

Mid Life Crisis and the Great American Dream

One of the mainstays of American culture is the "Great... Read More

Why Things Are The Way They Are

Things are the way you think they are, because you... Read More

Making Communication Effective: 4 Language Filters

Language is a challenging way to communicate. It allows us... Read More