That one guy at work that always has to be right; your buddy's wife who can't eat anywhere they serve burgers, or the monster-in-law, I mean mother-in-law, with too many opinions for your own good, difficult people, we all know them. So the question is, is there a right and a wrong way to deal with them? The answer is yes, if you want to avoid unnecessary confrontations.
First, keep in mind that it is very unlikely you will ever change the other person, so dealing with their difficult personality won't be just a one time Incident, but an every time skill. Don't sit back saying nothing until you absolutely can't take it one more second. Your pent up frustration will only result in a catastrophic blowout. The best approach is to confront and handle the situation as it occurs.
Just Practice These 5 Steps
1. Decide what the exact problem is and face them alone and in person to discuss it.
- Keep your posture open and inviting, avoiding crossed arms or negative facial expressions.
2. Have a clear outcome in mind and strive continuously throughout the confrontation to reach it.
- May be as simple as getting the other person to listen to your viewpoint.
3. Organize your thoughts before you meet.
- Think of supporting arguments, specific instances, and any documents to build a solid case and avoid generalities.
4. Keep calm in your body language and tone of voice, but stand your ground.
- Remind yourself that this is a situation you are dealing with, so don't turn it into a personal attack.
5. Listen to what the other person is saying and show them that you are taking their feelings into consideration, and then get them to do the same.
- Show them you are listening by keeping eye contact and repeating back what they have said in your rebuttal. Kindness, calm and rationality are your tools for getting them to do the same.
Most importantly, keep communicating! The more you practice these five steps, the easier confronting difficult people and situations will become. Taking the cool, calm and kind approach to handling the situation will throw them off guard leaving the door open for you to take control. Just as you must plan for success in all other areas, you must also plan in order to successfully derail the difficult people in your life.
Frank F. Lunn is an expert in leadership, marketing, and small business entrepreneurship. In his book, Stack the Logs! - Building a Success Framework to Reach Your Dreams, Frank outlines a simple 5-step strategy that will lead you to success in all areas. Find more useful article by Frank at http://www.stackthelogs.com
? Have you been working long hours? ? Have... Read More
Knowing more about who you are will give you the... Read More
When we are ill and don't know it, we are... Read More
"There is a time for departure, even when there's no... Read More
Work addiction is very common in our society today, yet... Read More
When we see people do things we cannot do, or... Read More
Most of us know that assertiveness will get you further... Read More
Anybody who has visited my website at Motivation & Self... Read More
Small talk used to be really hard work for me.... Read More
The effective coaching of employees by their line managers is... Read More
You may be just starting, or contemplating, your first online... Read More
As an ADD Coach, I usually begin my conversations with... Read More
Can you hear your compassion? It's time to crank it... Read More
Feeling disappointed? It's time to float.The time-honored approach to disappointment... Read More
The promises of THE AMERICAN DREAM (to have it all... Read More
In the movie, "The Gladiator," Emperor Commodus' rose to power... Read More
Being a lifelong student, I am regularly attending seminars etc.... Read More
Early one morning, Robert awoke, made his wife of 41... Read More
Along the path from where you are now to millions... Read More
For a self help book to work, we have to... Read More
Many of us will do anything to avoid another's anger,... Read More
Have you ever noticed how the way you feel about... Read More
Many of you reading this will be running businesses, or... Read More
What is an ego? Well, in case you didn't know... Read More
The underground train in London can get you anywhere when... Read More
Remember that Coke contest from the 80s? If you collected... Read More
Many business coaches deny the power of suggestion while using... Read More
Are you one of the millions of people who make... Read More
Signs of Self-ConfidenceLet's explore the meaning of self-confidence by taking... Read More
Most types of psychotherapy involve exploring feelings, being validated, finding... Read More
Updating my will has been on my mind for quite... Read More
In my work with individuals and couples, I see many... Read More
Recently I have been watching a TV show called Blowout.... Read More
Many people have asked me why I wrote my book,... Read More
Executive coaching is an investment for you and your business... Read More
Did you know that the area that you call your... Read More
From grimaces to stomach knots, talking about marketing seems to... Read More
Personal missions statements (PMS) are just nothing but the winning... Read More
A recent study at the University of Florida found that... Read More
When we are ill and don't know it, we are... Read More
Anybody who has visited my website at Motivation & Self... Read More
"Joan, I'm working so hard and I'm not getting anything... Read More
Have you ever found yourself in a hurry to leave... Read More
Recently, I have received several emails asking me about coaching... Read More
Why are you so busy? Do you really have too... Read More
Last month I was invited to participate in a charity... Read More
Activities - such as sports, creative projects, reading, work, TV,... Read More
Are you one of the millions of people who make... Read More
The war, taxes, the economy, increased health problems, crime on... Read More
There is a Buddhist saying that goes like this: "If... Read More
You are going to meet a very important client for... Read More
OK, so it wasn't quite that big of a deal.... Read More
Many people, particularly students, would love to be able to... Read More
"Nothing is more practical than for people to deepen themselves.... Read More
As a coach that specializes in marriage, couples and family... Read More
For adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), details are a... Read More
Recently, I saw an exhibition of paintings by a very... Read More
IntroductionThe question for leaders in organizations today is how do... Read More
How would you like to get along even better with... Read More
1. Get a life purpose statement.A well thought out life... Read More
Ever find yourself stuck in that awful loop of inactivity?... Read More
Online counseling may be the latest and greatest improvement in... Read More
Do you start your day with anger, frustration and annoyance... Read More
The name of the game is CHANGE -- that's true... Read More
The other day I decided to skip cooking dinner and... Read More
Helen Keller once remarked that there was one thing she... Read More
Coaching |