God must love Top Ten lists because she made so many of them. They crowd my Inbox daily. They're right up there in popularity with offers to refinance my house and stock up on Viagra. Top Nine Lists are few and far between and Top Eleven lists unheard of. But for seem reason there seem to be ten nifty answers to pretty much any problem or life situation you can come up with.
In search of my own Top Ten favorites I had a hard time coming up with something that hadn't already been worked over. There seems to be a plethora of Top Ten lists designed to pump us up; increase our confidence and build self esteem. I thought it would be nice to let some of the air out. So here are my:
Top Ten Things to Build a Bridge and Get Over.
1. Nobody knows why anybody does anything. Imagine the time this one will free up. You don't need to figure out what happened to Aunt Bertha as a child to make her so mean and crabby; why your s.o. dumped you; why your neighbor ignores you. We humans are a product of our upbringing; environment, genetics and hormones. We do what we do when we do it. Let it go. Don't take it personally.
2. Nobody owes you a thing. When you think about all the time, love and attention it took to get where you are today you'll see that you can never repay the debt. Your mother and father who raised you; your teachers who pushed and believed in you; your friends who supported you; your community which nurtures you. Question is ? what have you given back in return?
3. You'll be balanced when you're dead. Not a moment sooner. Balance schmalanace. We chase it like the Holy Grail. What's the big deal if you work too hard some weeks and goof off others? If you're passionate about something maybe you'd rather have more of it in your life. Your kids won't knock over a bank if you miss a few softball practices. Exercise is overrated and TV's not evil incarnate
4. Multi-tasking is an oxymoron. Don't be intimidated by colleagues who do five things at once. Studies on "Attentional Blink" show that we don't actually do more than one thing at a time. We switch our attention rapidly between projects. A one man band plays many instruments passably but none well. Better to be a maestro than a journeyman.
5. You don't deserve anything you have. See # 2. Entitlement is a very unattractive quality. No matter how hard you worked or how much you planned you were never in control of the outcome of your efforts. God and luck and the support of others, along with your own hard work, played big parts.
6. You're ordinary. Relax it's a compliment. Ordinary people are reliable, industrious and consistent . Superstars are a pain in the rear especially when they read their own press. Who would you rather call at 2 AM when your car breaks down - Tony Robbins or your brother-in-law Al? Imagine the ride home.
7. You're not a victim you're a volunteer. (Unless we're talking about a trainwreck or a typhoid epidemic). The old saw about nobody being able to take advantage of you without your permission is true. If you don't want something to happen in your life don't set it up in the first place.
8. You're right. Life isn't fair. But it's always interesting and instructive if you keep an open mind.
9. There is no meantime. No place where time stands still and standards are lowered and second best is good enough. There's only now. What are you going to do now?
10. Gratefulness is second to Godliness. Cleanliness is waaay down the list. Get down on your knees and look at your life. Oh, the places you'll go!
Mary Rosendale is a writer, speaker and Founder of "The Constructed Life" - a unique Holistic Coaching service rooted in Buddhist psychology. If you liked this article you'll love her free newsletter. Visit her on the web at http://www.TheConstructedlife.com to sign up for it.
Most people suffer from stress at some time during the... Read More
It never ceases to amaze me that every time I... Read More
There are things that we do automatically internally that we... Read More
He's been around since the dawn of humanity. His profession... Read More
The other day I decided to skip cooking dinner and... Read More
In today's fast paced world, we are often confronted with... Read More
When I started my sales career over 25 years ago,... Read More
Six steps we can take to reduce our risks for... Read More
Are you using the Life Potential you have been given?... Read More
Good posture is seen to have many advantages. From an... Read More
Last month I was invited to participate in a charity... Read More
No matter how wonderful you are sometimes other people will... Read More
Jim, a 42-year old engineer was teaching his eight-year-old son... Read More
GOOD BUSINESS COACHING: Clearly, the right kind of coaching can... Read More
There are two kinds of peoples we generally face in... Read More
Have you ever found yourself in a hurry to leave... Read More
Is Having a Professional Coach a Solution to Optimizing your... Read More
For most of her fifty years, Barbara was at war... Read More
The name of the game is CHANGE -- that's true... Read More
My work in organizations involves dropping habitual ways of perceiving... Read More
Articulating repetitive statements with emotion will inevitably connect you to... Read More
When you invest your time in being a mentee you... Read More
Not long ago, I made a partnership pitch, on behalf... Read More
I've been through a couple of checklists in the past... Read More
How often do you hear a parental voice in your... Read More
What Is Self-Esteem?Self-esteem literally means to esteem, or respect, yourself.... Read More
Tracey started her video production company 2 ½ years ago,... Read More
Recently, I worked with a client who was having a... Read More
Teachers enter the profession with the desire to help others,... Read More
People of two opposing ideas can stir up arguments and... Read More
We all need to decide whether to "play it safe"... Read More
Did you hire a "life coach" to help you sort... Read More
Signs of Self-ConfidenceLet's explore the meaning of self-confidence by taking... Read More
Have you considered hiring a personal coach? Jack Canfield, in... Read More
The other day I was having a interesting conversation with... Read More
I was talking to one of my coaching clients and... Read More
So you want to hire a coach but with so... Read More
Have you ever thought about what really creates self-esteem? Having... Read More
H. Jackson Brown Jr. once wrote, Your mind can only... Read More
Viewpoints! Everyone has them and they are personal. However, when... Read More
Recently my friend Michelle was concerned about a professional conference... Read More
How would you like to get along even better with... Read More
Laughter may or may not be a shock, relieved, but... Read More
Personal missions statements (PMS) are just nothing but the winning... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 22,... Read More
Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve... Read More
Who do you consider as your worst enemy? The criminals... Read More
One of my clients gave me permission to tell you... Read More
Coaching is an effective process used to support individuals in... Read More
And ironically the more we worry about it, the more... Read More
I met my friend when we were in graduate school,... Read More
The intriguing Human psyche - more complex than the metamorphosing... Read More
We all need to decide whether to "play it safe"... Read More
Many people, particularly students, would love to be able to... Read More
One day when I was in school, many years ago,... Read More
I've told people for a long time that one of... Read More
The name of the game is CHANGE -- that's true... Read More
Last month I was invited to participate in a charity... Read More
"Fortune befriends the bold." - John DrydenI regularly work with... Read More
We all know the power of a scope if you... Read More
The other day I decided to skip cooking dinner and... Read More
When you use what you go through to grow through,... Read More
Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) often feel like they... Read More
In this article we would like to help you explore... Read More
Immediately post second world war W Edwards Deming went to... Read More
I am a "Loser". You're gonna learn from this writing... Read More
Coaching |