Q. When you consult with a family with teens, what are the typical bottom-line issues?
A. Not surprisingly, the bottom line issues for parents are very different than the bottom line issues for the teen.
For the parents, the bottom line issues look something like this:
They see the kid they raised from an infant changing right before their eyes, usually getting more and more out of control. Their concerns can run through a whole range of problems - from slipping grades, bad attitudes and little or no communication all the way to depression, running away or drugs.
The bottom line is that the parents are scared, and they want their nice kid back.
For the teens, the bottom line issues usually look something like this:
"If Mom and Dad would just get off my back and trust me, everything would be OK. I'm not a little kid anymore!"
The bottom line is: "I just want to be more and more in charge of myself!"
One useful tip for both sides is to learn to pick your battles.
For the parents, not every issue needs to be a battle for control.
For the teens, not every issue has to be a battle for independence.
Visit ParentingYourTeenager.com for tips and tools for thriving during the teen years. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 5 day e-program on The Top 5 Things to Never Say to Your Teenager, from parenting coach and expert Jeff Herring.
In the news, we hear and see an increasing number... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 31,... Read More
For many adults, reading a book or newspaper seems effortless.... Read More
Beyond cases reported to authorities, little knowledge exists on the... Read More
Age 1: Invite only family members and close friends only... Read More
Having a high level of emotional intelligence in your children... Read More
Search for Assurance: The Power of BelongingThe job hunt is... Read More
Oh Please, Don't Say Maybe!!!!Are you often a participant in... Read More
One of the challenges for parents with a gifted child... Read More
There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques... Read More
My neighbours' kid impressed me the other day.I was busy... Read More
Did you know that many people retire broke?It's true. After... Read More
Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not... Read More
Imagine having no television for an entire season. Such was... Read More
There is a front line and a back end to... Read More
What Children Look for in a Friend?Is this child fun... Read More
There is no doubt that mothers play an all-important leading... Read More
A tall, weary-looking mother with glasses, walked into my counseling... Read More
When is a person brilliant? When does a person show... Read More
Child Car Seat Safety:We know you love your children, but... Read More
Creating and making special memories with your child is very... Read More
Many parental units are not "techies" and openly admit they... Read More
Q: My husband and I are at a loss as... Read More
Many children are jittery on the first day of school.... Read More
Most day cares are non-profit organizations that must operate within... Read More
The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes... Read More
"Get down from the table top right now! What are... Read More
Bi-Polar Disorder, or Manic Depression, is characterized by mood swings,... Read More
Did you know that the number of twin births have... Read More
Is your babysitter watching the kids and your k9 family... Read More
Back in college, I wrote for a five-day-a-week, award-winning campus... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
What is Happening in the brain of children, teens, and... Read More
How excited do kids get with the start of school... Read More
What do you do when your child begins talking to... Read More
As a parent, you probably know that the birthday party... Read More
Sitting by her Pinocchio lamp, she smiled at me as... Read More
When I was pregnant, we knew that we had some... Read More
1. The Law of the BeastAs parents we need to... Read More
Now is an excellent time to have your child's vision... Read More
It was a day that I will forever be etched... Read More
As part of the whole-language (or "balanced") reading-instruction philosophy, many... Read More
In the first premise, some films and video tapes which... Read More
Although many parents are concerned with our children's intelligence quotient... Read More
A growing body of scientific evidence shows that the way... Read More
Thank you for all that you do in the classroom!... Read More
Hey Parents! I hate to tell you, but there is... Read More
Bath time can be fun or it can be a... Read More
Nanny 911 Interview with Montel WilliamsI saw an interview with... Read More
The citizens of the early Roman Republic enjoyed an education... Read More
In June, elementary school children across North America cheered as... Read More
Many public schools not only fail to educate our children,... Read More
The cost of being a parent and raising a child... Read More
The following spelling games can be used by parents to... Read More
"No thank you. Don't bother to send me the report... Read More
"I WON'T DO IT!" "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"Whether parent or... Read More
Encouragement comes when you focus on your child's assets and... Read More
Children are notoriously bad at drinking enough liquids. They are... Read More
I've often thought that in 6 million years, archaeologists will... Read More
Here is something that you might want to keep if... Read More
Vacations are fun ! Weekends with the family are nice.... Read More
Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted... Read More
There are times when my ideas of raising a child... Read More
Maintain CommunicationEven though teens need to separate from their parents... Read More
Imagine yourself lying flat on your back, totally strapped down... Read More
How many times have you flipped through the pages of... Read More
Parenting |