Son, Can I Use The Car Tonight?

I recall somewhere in the recesses of my aging brain a time past when kids actually asked to borrow the family car for the evening. Heck, I even recall myself uttering that request to my folks many times. In fact, it was a science. If you had a hot date (in my case that was more a generic term for any reason to get away) you waited all day for the right time to pop the request.

Sometimes doing those little chores you normally avoided just to put the parental decision-maker (knowing which parent to ask was most important) in a good frame of mind. And then once you asked the question it was important that you grovel a bit and look sincere as the one granting your wish dangled the keys like a carrot on a stick while reciting the familiar drive-carefully-and-pay for the gas-you-use-and-I-want-you-back-by-eleven speech (sometimes with future 'chore' clauses you had to promise to accomplish). Without a doubt it was the artful application of psychology, persuasion, and negotiation, spawned by greed and selfishness, which in the end resulted in loving extortion. But it was the right of passage when you were a teenager.

Well, my friends, I am sorry to say that all that has passed into history like the Model T. Why, you ask? Well, for us it seemed to have all started when our three charming offspring entered high school. One of the 'advantages' to living in suburbia is that the school is generally on the other side of town. My wife and I hail from a large urban area and all the schools were within walking distance. We never complained about the walk because our parents had to walk 5 miles to school everyday butt naked in a blinding snowstorm during The Great Depression. But not our kids. They wouldn't even wait a block away for public transportation on a pleasant Summer's day (that's so un-cool). See, the problem is that thing in high school called 'extra-curricular activities'. It doesn't matter what sport, club, or activity it is, they all get out at different times. As a result my wife and I have spent our formative middle aged years schlepping our young not-so-innocents to and from the school.. sometimes multiple times a day. Couple that with catering to their social requirements of being dropped off or picked up at friends' homes (also across town)it's no wonder we were too weary to go to PTA meetings.

So one day as I sat in front of the school on slow burn as the fencing club was again going into overtime I vowed that this would all stop when the kids got their licenses. We are far from rich but I decided there and then to make sure all three of them have a car even if it was just rust and duct tape. I had more important things I could be doing, like earning money and paying bills and other fun adult things. Since my kids are all close in age they all pretty much got their 'passes to freedom' at the same time and all three were chomping at the bit at the idea of their folks buying them each a car. They were even quite willing to provide their own input as to their preferred vehicle of choice, even if it was going to be something used.. oh, maybe a year or two old. But, much to their chagrin (and much to the ease of our budget) we managed to provide three 'wonderful' vehicles from the previous decade with mileage to match; basic transportation. Alas, I was free! Three vehicles for the kids and one for my wife and myself!

Life was wonderful. Oh, sure, trying to fit our family fleet of four vehicles in the driveway or on the street was a challenge, as well as the inconvenience of doing the car shuffle to 'unbury' someone who had to leave the driveway (always the buried one who has to leave right away).. but it was worth it. But then one day the inevitable happened.. the parental vehicle broke down. This was not supposed to happen in my grand plan. I had a 'hot date' planned for that evening.. my wife and I were going to dinner and a movie. So I approached my oldest in some instinctive groveling manner, "Son, can I use your car this evening?"

I put on a face of empathy and sympathy as I listened to a tirade about how this was going to cramp his evening's social activities but in the end he dangled his keys on front of me and gave me the drive-carefully-and-make-sure-you-pay-me-for-the-gas-you-use speech, adding that I owed him big time for this 'favor'.

As I reached for the keys in his hand I found myself almost saying, "Thanks, dad!"

About The Author

Doug Burkland is degreed in the behavioral sciences and writes articles regarding family life, parenting, human sexuality, entrepreneurship, and current events. An aging baby boomer raised in the Mid-West and having liberal-conservative attitudes, Doug is an admitted 'survivor' of public education who thinks he has something to say that people might like to read; sometimes using a bit of healthy satire, mixed with friendly sarcasm, and at times tempered with thought provoking common sense. Along with being an entrepreneur (having had three businesses of his own), Doug has a broad perspective on balancing life and family.

http://www.dougburkland.com or email doug@dougburkland.com

---

The Real Problem With Todays Teenagers (And Why Most Parents Just Dont Get It!)

An address given by Rev. David B. Smith... Read More

Parenting Predicaments

Predicament:My son is 4 1/2 years old. His younger brother... Read More

Secret Of Your Genuis Child

Here is a top secret to make your child genius... Read More

The Neurology of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Part One

What is Happening in the brain of children, teens, and... Read More

When Your Childs Adoption Story Changes: Nothing But the Facts or is It Nothing are the Facts?

Elana, born in Russia, was told "We really don't know... Read More

Hearing Our Seriously Distressed Children

How do we deal with our seriously distressed children and... Read More

Old-Fashioned Ways to Inspire Children

"Walk through any toy store and you will see walls... Read More

Legacy to Your Children

John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comLegacy to Your ChildrenIt's 6:30... Read More

Honey I Can?t Afford The Kids

Sex has a lot to answer for ? babies usually... Read More

Alias: Aptitude

Be aware. You may become totally overwhelmed when you get... Read More

Parents - Create An Emotionally Healthy Connection With Your Child

"I could have helped you if I would have known,... Read More

Handling Failure -- Teaching Kids How to Profit From It

There is nothing pleasant about failure, at least not at... Read More

Picky Eater Kid Nutritional Guidelines

Although many children are picky eaters at some stage in... Read More

How To Teach Your Children Self-Reliance and Potential

Self-reliance and potential are two very important values that I'd... Read More

How Children Learn

Nurture and TeachThe single most important thing caregivers can do... Read More

Promote Physical Fitness for Your Child

If your child is to derive the benefits of physical... Read More

What Values Are We Giving Our Children?

On a bright Sunday morning, a couple of weeks ago,... Read More

Summer Survival

Summer Survival The... Read More

How Public Schools Coerce Parents Into Giving Mind-Altering Drugs To Their Children

Despite the potentially dangerous side-effects of Ritalin, public school authorities... Read More

Is Your Behavioural Change Strategy Working?

'How can I start getting my children to help out... Read More

6 Signs You?re A High Maintenance Parent

The children of Baby Boomers, the Echo Generation, are entering... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Kids and Money

Most teens go into the work world ill-prepared to manage... Read More

Top 20+ Reasons to Pay your Kid an Allowance

1. They can make mistakes under your guidance2. They will... Read More

Guide to Choosing LEGO Toys for Children

If you're looking for toys that are both fun to... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: 8 Things You Need to Be Doing

Get into their world. The world that teens are growing... Read More

Examining Drugs for ADHD, Particularly Strattera

In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year... Read More

Uses for Dirty Diapers

As the father of a toddler, I am an expert... Read More

Why Me?

Why Me?"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: When is it OK to Quit?

Q. My daughter is a junior in high school and... Read More

Two Means Trouble

You have two kids who are 14 months apart. How... Read More

Life Lessons Learned in My Underwear

For several years now, I've told the following story as... Read More

The Personality of a Virgo Child

Your Virgo Baby..August 23 - September 22Virgo children are honest... Read More

ParentingYour Teenager: Dont Buy the I Dont Know and I Dont Care Attitude

"I don't know and I don't care."I've heard those words... Read More