After WLS: Goodbye Self-Loathing! Hello Self-Loving!

You won't believe what happened to me today!

I was getting ready for work and saw myself naked in the full-length mirror and I didn't hate what I saw! I actually gave myself an unrehearsed slightly passive self-compliment "You don't look bad today."

The reason this is monumental is because most of the time when I look in the mirror I do not like what I see and I give myself harsh criticism. I suppose after years of self-loathing that it is more comfortable to degrade my appearance than to appreciate it.

Many patients report hyper-judging their bodies after weight loss; it seems the thinner we get the more judgmental we are of our bodies. These days I'm critical of thighs that seem a bit jiggly and some very unattractive cottage cheese dimples on my rear end. Loathing these body parts keeps me from appreciating a thin waist, toned arms or those curious collarbones that were in hiding for so many years.

Body dysmorphic disorder is a mental image many victims of anorexia nervosa have that tells them they look fat, even when they are emaciated. Morbidly obese people and bariatric patients can suffer from body dysmorphia as well. One reader, ThereseD, posted this message regarding body perception:

"Body Dysmorphia is REAL! Over five years after my open RNY gastric bypass and I got hit with it again just last night, when I was cleaning out my closet. My daughter commented that my new shirt, which I was so proudly placing at the front, was too big and needs to go in the "go" pile. I checked the label and sure enough, it said "Large". Following my revision surgery of April 18, 2005, I still have my bandages and I'm probably wearing a size 4 Petite . . . and still I put on a smart and stylish new top in a size that's just too big for me! Oops!"

When we were morbidly obese our emotional coping mechanisms kicked in and many of us were able to convince ourselves we really weren't that big. It is emotionally kinder to avoid body criticism. The whole issue of obesity seems hopeless. In fact, many morbidly obese patients will say they see themselves normal sized. That is until rude moments remind them they are not normal sized: a skinny chair, a turnstile, a bathroom stall, a flight of stairs, a photograph. This false perception is a subconscious coping strategy to protect us from the brutal truth, the truth about how big morbidly obese really is.

After surgery, there is a tendency for the body dysmorphia to reverse. Before surgery we denied how big we were, after surgery we judge ourselves critically ? like the anorexic ? and fail to see an honest reflection. One woman, down from size 24 to size 10 wrote, "I feel fat daily. I never felt this at 248 pounds ? I saw a thinner person in the mirror than I see now. I look at my size 10 jeans and they look like tents. I don't feel as attractive as I did when I was heavy. I don't understand it," she continued, "but I think it has to do with learning to accept yourself fat so you didn't see all the fat. Now I just have to learn to accept myself as thinner."

It has been suggested that dressing in stylish clothes that fit is one way to beat the body blues. Another idea, as Therese suggested, is having a bystander who will be honest about our appearance. Therese wrote, "My daughter's the number one person I go to, when I need to cure the myopic view of myself that I've developed."

I wish I knew what magic happened this morning that I accepted and appreciated my own body. If I could package that magic I would personally mail it to every reader of LivingAfterWLS.com ? we ALL deserve to love and appreciate ourselves. It's time for the self-loathing to end and the self-appreciation to begin.

Kaye Bailey © 2005- All Rights Reserved

Kaye Bailey is a weight loss surgery success story having maintained her health and goal weight for 5+ years. An award winning journalist, she is the author and webmaster of http://www.livingafterwls.com and http://www.livingafterwls.blogspot.com

Fresh & insightful content is added daily, check in often.

To subscribe to the LivingAfterWLS monthly newsletter "You Have Arrived" click on http://www.livingafterwls.com and enter your details in the subscription box.

---

The One and Only Way to Lose Weight

There is only one way to lose weightThere really is... Read More

How Not To Lose Weight

Who really wants to lose weight? None of us, right?... Read More

What are the Benefits of the Low-carb Diet?

Are you one of those who hate dieting? Well, you... Read More

Easy Weight Loss

A really easy, fast way to weight loss is walking... Read More

The True Weight Loss Approach ? Five Step Common Sense Plan!

Some of you will not like what I have to... Read More

Plot Your Weight Loss Course

I'm sure you already know that weight loss and improved... Read More

Weight Loss Tips, Tricks, and Tactics - Part 1

I personal lost 60 pounds in 2003. Here are some... Read More

The Best Weight Loss Advice Youll Ever Get

"Who are you to give me weight loss advice?" I... Read More

Real Weight Loss Begins Today...With Cliff Kuhn, M.D.s Fun Factor Diet!

Weight Loss is something that many Americans struggle with. In... Read More

South Beach Diets and Fast Food Franchises

Franchised Business Models and American Diets could be at odds.... Read More

5 Tips For Weight Loss

Are you ready to lose some weight? Perhaps you're surfing... Read More

Law of Attraction Resolves Diet Controversy

Who'd have thought healthy eating could be so controversial? Lunching... Read More

Co-Dependency and Food: Trying to Fill the Void

Nice girls don't speak up. Nice girls take care of... Read More

What is the Glycemic Index?

Over the last 30 years, research into food and blood... Read More

Eating Habits That Can Help You Lose Weight And Stay That Way

There are certain eating habits that can make you gain... Read More

Top Thirty Weight Loss Tips and Tricks

Here are some everyday, helpful hints to get you started,... Read More

The Truth About Low Carb Dieting

Every day you walk down the street it is becoming... Read More

Can Weight Loss Improve Your Health And Make You Feel Better?

Many people today are interested in weight loss and weight... Read More

To Lose Weight or Not to Lose Weight... A Guideline for Men!

To begin this article I must start with it's conclusion.The... Read More

Taking Control of Your Cellulite

Cellulite happens to us for many reasons. Some reasons-- like... Read More

Winning at Post-Partum Weight Loss: Six Simple Strategies for New Moms ? Part 1

A healthy pregnancy almost always involves weight gain. But now... Read More

Side Effects of The Famous Ephedra Product

Ephedra has been used in Chinese medicine for thousands of... Read More

Weightloss Supplements - How Weightloss Patches & Diet Pills Can Control Your Appetite

All of us that have had a love-hate relationship with... Read More

Relieve Stress at Your Workplace: It Might Just Help You Manage Your Weight!

No doubt about it, when we feel stressed we want... Read More

Saint Valentine Never Had it So Good

There are several theories on the origins of Valentine's Day.... Read More

Walking: Its Never Too Late to Lose Weight!

How did a thin person like me become overweight? My... Read More

Food Intolerance and Low Carb Diets

Food intolerance is a pharmacological reaction to the consumption of... Read More

Give up the Diet

If you're thinking of going on a diet to lose... Read More

How To Lose Weight Quickly and Safely

"I eat like a bird, why do I gain weight?"... Read More

Fast Weight Loss for Special Occasions

Losing weight quickly is not advisable as most of the... Read More

Its All In The Numbers

Offer a woman the choice between a dress she likes... Read More

How Many Calories Can I Have And Still Lose Weight?

How to Estimate How Many Calories You Can Have and... Read More

The Maharishi Ayurveda Approach to Weight Loss

5 Easy Steps to A Healthier WeightAlthough different people have... Read More