Stress Management: Holding On Vs. Dropping It

One of the dumbest things I have ever done is grab a hot iron by the bottom.

We were rushing out of the house for a trip a few years back. The last time I had used it was hours ago that morning, and had left it on the ironing bourd in the bed room. I didn't know Lauren had used it just a moment before.

I've never dropped anything so fast before or since!

Most of you are probably a whole lot smarter than me and have never picked up a hot iron. At the same time, I bet everyone has had the experience of picking up something hot, getting burned, and dropping it right away.

Would it make any sense to keep holding something hot like that? Of course not.

That's why we drop them so quickly.

Then why do we hold on so tightly to hot emotional issues and allow them to keep burning us?

Yet we do it all the time. Something inconvenient, bad, or even traumatic occurs, and we hold on to it for dear life. I've worked with people who had experienced trauma and were doing fairly well not too long after. I've also worked with people who had experienced trauma years and years ago, yet it seemed as if it had just happened.

How to Hold On

Holding on to something that is burning us requires a lot of conscious attention, just like flunking gym class in school. Here's a few "tips" for holding on:

*Play the situation or offense over and over in your mind. Be sure to make a little "mental movie" for your own viewing pleasure.

*Make sure it's the first thing you think of in the morning and the last thing you think of at night.

*Tell everyone who will give you an ear the whole entire story, in play by play detail.

*Make it the defining moment in your life.

*Isolate yourself from other people

*Rant and rave about the injustice and unfairness of it all.

*Look at yourself as a victim.

How to Drop It

Just as holding on to something requires conscious attention, dropping something requires a conscious decision. Here's a few tips for dropping it:

*as stated above, decide to. You must decide to do it before any ot the other tips will work.

*take away from it what you can learn, leave behind anything else.

*find a symbol of the event and burn it, bury it, or both. I know this might sound a little silly, but it works.

*remember the saying "Success comes from good judgement. Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement."

*and perhaps the most important: make a place for it in your life, because it did happen. And then put it in it's place, which is behind you.

Hold on and get burned or drop it and move on. It's a choice.

And it's yours to make.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

---

Stress Management: Ditch Thinking or Destination Thinking

Imagine driving down the road. You are driving with a... Read More

Strategies for Eliminating and Managing Stress

To combat modern day stressors, you need to realize that... Read More

Manage Stress and Fear: Visit The Secret Garden!

Recently I completed some new workshop engagements in addition to... Read More

Dont Let Technology Psych You Out!

We've all experienced it-computerized technology that doesn't function properly. PCs... Read More

Stress Managment: How to Beat the Get By Syndrome

I'm sure you have heard of IBS, irritable bowel syndrome,... Read More

Stress

Stress. The word brings to mind many different definitions doesn't... Read More

Putting Your Life in Perspective

Do you often overreact to situations? Are you a constant... Read More

Combat Stress by Creating Your Own Oasis

Stress and anxiety can prematurely age our mind and body.... Read More

Create Your Own Home Spa

No need to go spend money at a spa! There... Read More

Stress - What We Say is Half the Problem

Everywhere I go, I hear the same unpleasant sentence repeated... Read More

Stress Management and Mastery: What We Can Learn from 9 Trapped Miners

Think back a few years to the nine coal miners... Read More

Stress Management and Relief Techniques - Quit Running from Bears!

Fear, and its accompanying seriousness, causes our suffering. Fear restricts... Read More

Stress - A Modern Cause of Disease

Every day we are faced with a situation where our... Read More

Canadian Physicians on Slippery Slope of Burnout

In a recent CMA survey of 2251 physicians, over 45%... Read More

Stress Mangement and Mastery: How to Defeat Sunday Night Syndrome

Picture the following scene:It's Sunday evening, the weekend is winding... Read More

Setting High Personal Standards

In his book, The 22 Non-Negotiable Laws of Wellness, author... Read More

Why Stress Is Not Necessary

We are not designed for long term stress.It causes us... Read More

Seven Steps to Reducing Stress and Reclaiming Your Life at Work

According to the StressPulse survey by ComPsych Corporation completed at... Read More

Occupational Stress

Statistics tell us that more people have migraine headaches on... Read More

Stress Managment: Worry is the Prescription for an Ulcer

Have you ever listened to someone, perhaps even to your... Read More

Stress Management and Mastery: Frustration or Fascination

"Learn how to turn frustration into fascination. You will learn... Read More

Stress Management and Mastery: 3 Powerful Tools to Beat Stress

Q: We recently had someone come to our company to... Read More

Anger Management: Is It Finally Time To Forgive?

In order to free ourselves from the pain of anger... Read More

Adventures in Relieving Stress

Whether we are at work, traveling, or at home, we've... Read More

Mental and Physical Stress

All people experience stress and anxiety in one form or... Read More

Stress Management

The fast pace of life is taking toll on every... Read More

Stress Relief

Traffic jams. Toddler tantrums. Deadlines at work. Money troubles. Too... Read More

Stress & Burnout: The Adrenal Factor

I was a psychotherapist for... Read More

The Art of Worrying

I am worried. I have been biting my nails for... Read More

Rising to the Top: Overcoming Bad Situations

We've all been there, right? We find ourselves living with... Read More

Stress Management--Getting the Better of the Daily Grind

There are many kinds of daily grinds. In the U.S.... Read More

Worry: Do We Have A Choice?

As Montaigne said, "he who fears he will suffer, already... Read More

The Top Seven Causes Of Workplace Stress And Fifteen Ways To Get Rid Of Them

Anyone who has ever worked knows that stress is part... Read More