[Emotional Health] Are You Feeling In Control?

When it is all said and done, do you feel like you stay on an even keel emotionally most of the time? Here is a story about how easy it is to lose one's emotional balance.

Recently, I was coming home from an evening business meeting in Tokyo. I walked a block, and like all good citizens do in Japan, when I got to the corner and the light was red, I stopped and waited for it to turn green before crossing.

Just as the traffic signal turns amber, to warn drivers to slow down and stop, a motorcycle and its rider slowly grind to a halt. The guy has on a backpack, there is a huge bundle tied to the back seat of the bike, and he has other stuff hanging from the bike handles. He looks like a homeless person who still has enough money to own a bike.

With the bike stops the man uses his feet to balance himself, just as riders always do. The only thing different in this case, is that the man and his bike are leaning quite heavily to the left, as if he has no sense of straight up and down, and can't feel the pull of gravity.

He wobbles once... he wobbles twice... and then swoosh... . The man, his motorcycle, and all of the stuff he is carrying with him, slide down to the ground.

My first thought is "Wow, this guy must really be drunk, I better get him off his bike and make sure he can't drive for a while." As I weigh all the variables that might be involved, I notice that everyone else is simply crossing the street as if nothing has happened.

As the guy struggles to get back up, the light turns green and now cars start to whiz by, and I get worried that he will get hit. So as fools often do, I rush in where wise men fear to tread.

I say hello in a loud voice to let him know I am nearby. As he turns to look, I reach out and take the handlebars and right the bike, and walk it over to the side of the road. As I had hoped, he follows along after me, dragging his belongings.

I put the kickstand of the bike down, and the guy starts apologizing profusely, while also thanking me and pointing out how clumsy and foolish he is in general. This act of contrition is a lovely art form in Japanese culture. And I must admit, for the average Westerner, it takes quite a good deal of trial and error practice to reproduce.

I smile at the guy, and playfully ask him if he has had a tough night, and a bit too much to drink. "No, no, nothing at all to drink." he says. "My girlfriend just broke up with me, and I am broken hearted. We divided everything up as equally as we could. I kept the bike and all the rest of what I am carrying. She kept her belongings and the sidecar for the bike, which she always rode around in with me. I guess it's going to take a while to get used to no longer needing to balance her weight."

I nod my head and smile, to signify that I understand what he is talking about, and indeed, what he says, somehow really touches me.

We look at each other for a moment or two with a sense of brotherhood, and then his face suddenly livens up and he says, "Now that I think about it, maybe I'm the lucky one. I can still get around, but she's left sitting all alone by the side of the road!"

***

As human beings we have an emotional system, a physical system, an intellectual system, and a spiritual system all working together (hopefully!) at the same time.

Homeostasis comes about when the dynamic range that a person's multiple systems operate in, create a harmonious balance, and flow together at their optimum. Take in enough food to fuel the system, but not enough food to overburden the system or give yourself a negative emotional image. Take in enough oxygen to fuel your creativity and all of your physical activities, but not enough to hyperventilate. Depend on a friend or loved one to support you, but not to the point that you lose your own sense of balance, and self. Life is a balancing act, and as long as we are alive, the need to maintain, lose, and once again regain our balance, goes on constantly. We don't so much maintain our balance as a constant. Much more so we need to lose and regain our balance over and over again.

Charlie Badenhop is the originator of Seishindo, an Aikido instructor, NLP trainer, and Ericksonian Hypnotherapist. Benefit from his thought-provoking ideas and a new self-help Practice every two weeks, by subscribing to his complimentary newsletter for individuals and professionals devoted to Somatic Intelligence. Read the articles of Leading Practitioners on Somatics and discover how intelligent our body is and why we should understand the language our body speaks. You can also try the Somatic Self Hypnosis Practice to understand how the way you use your body creates a different experience of the challenges you face.

---

7 Tips to Relieve Stress At Work

Do you feel stress at work? Do you carry your... Read More

Workplace Stress: What to Do During Down Times?

The main problem in a down economy is that workplaces... Read More

Improving Self Esteem with Affirmations and Therapeutic Relaxation Music

Positive self-esteem is very important for our general health and... Read More

Stress Management: Are You a Workaholic - Humorous View

As we celebrate yet another Labor Day, I thought it... Read More

Rested? The Three Keys to Finding True Rest, Just in Case

What do you think of when you see that word?... Read More

Just Moved -- and Miserable!

Q. Help! I moved from the Dallas to Denver. I... Read More

Ten Easy Relaxation Techniques

Stress is more than just unpleasant. It's dangerous. Try these... Read More

The Underlying Cause of Nervous Breakdowns

Life can offer us many challenges having to do with... Read More

Dealing With Frustration

If you're like most people, you have your bouts of... Read More

Stress Management and Mastery: The Power of REST

Rest.It's a good thing to do. As the story goes,... Read More

Stress Managment: 5 Things to Clean Out of Your Mental Closet

ExcusesWe all have them. It amazes me how creative I... Read More

Stress: Daily Self-Care Habits to Manage Stress

Today we have more stress in our lives than ever... Read More

How To Recognize Stress And Its Effects Before It Takes You Over

Stress affects different people in different ways, but affect them... Read More

Stress Management: 12 Stress Busters for Speedy Stress Reduction

Are You Too Stressed?Is your stomach all tied up in... Read More

5 Easy Ways to Pamper Yourself

Life is so busy and as mothers we spend so... Read More

The Top 10 Steps to DeStress

Do you feel tense and anxious at work? Do your... Read More

Stress Management: How to Change Limiting Beliefs

Mark Twain once said, "It's not what we don't know... Read More

High Stress Means Low Self Esteem

Do you have the desire for a stress free life?... Read More

7 Unique Stress Relievers

Too much driving, too much shopping, too much rushing around,... Read More

Stress In The Workplace

According to the Australian Council of Trade Unions' (A.C.T.U.) 1997... Read More

The Art of Worrying

I am worried. I have been biting my nails for... Read More

Quick Steps On Handling Stress

Looking for some quick stress relief?Edward W. Smith, motivational speaker,... Read More

10 Tips To Reduce Stress

1. Determine your "unique ability" and capitalize on itDelegate the... Read More

6 Ways to Release Stress

We are currently living in a capitalist society where money... Read More

Keeping You Stress Free!

We function at our best when we are free from... Read More

9 Warning Signs of Stress

Stress is the nastiest 4 letter word you ever met.... Read More

Wholistics

I have yet to see a scientist talk about the... Read More

The 3 Rs of Taking a Vacation Without Leaving Home

This summer, get away, without going away. Take a mini... Read More

Overwhelm: Love It or Leave It!

Amazing thing, overwhelm!You don't usually see it coming. It just... Read More

Stress Management and Mastery: The Value of Vitamin NO

What part of no don't you understand? - Bumper stickerThe... Read More

Some Tips for Mental Well Being - Ways to Help Yourself!

Get at least 15 minutes of sunshine daily.Daily Exercise -... Read More

5 Ways to Create Reserve Energy Everyday

Did you ever feel like your "get-up-and-go" got up and... Read More

Spontaneous Play

"We do not stop playing because we grow old. We... Read More