Teaching Respect And Values In Todays Society

The girl's jaw dropped in horror as the police officer spoke these words:

"Don't go there. Have you any idea how many kids have been stabbed in the past year? They'll kill you as soon as look at you. They have no respect for life."

The mother breathed a sigh of relief. She had come in to school to seek my help, as I was her daughter's Guidance Counsellor. We needed to convince the girl that the places she was frequenting were putting her very life in danger.

Fortunately a police officer was in school that day to speak to a Social Education class - and I got him to sit in on the interview.

So where was the young girl going that put her life in such peril? What underground haunts were enticing her?

None other than an area of the city where two school friends lived. But as you may guess, it was an area rife with drug abuse and its attendant crimes. Many people there had lost respect both for themselves and for life in general.

So how do we teach respect and values in a society that's rapidly becoming valueless?

Believe it or not, it's relatively easy!

All we have to do is go back to basics. Remember what Grandma used to say? - "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".

This might sound a bit 'corny' or 'naff' in today's world, but if ever a saying deserved to be revitalised and repeated again and again, this is it!

Today our kids need to learn RESPECT for themselves; for other people; for other people's rights, customs and valid beliefs; for property; for materials; and for the earth itself.

The more people who do this, the more we will have a counter-balance to the uncaring and disrespectful trends we see all around.

Yes, that's all very well, but HOW do we do it?

In two ways - and as I said, it's easy!

First and foremost MODEL the values and respect you wish your children to develop.

That's it. SHOW them by your own lifestyle. You don't even need to articulate these values - but as we'll see later, discussing them and commenting on them can make an even bigger impact.

Many successful parents are neither educated nor articulate, and they say very little. They let their actions speak louder than words.

There's nothing new in this. To use an old-fashioned phrase, these parents give a good example. (Some of today's psychologists think they've come up with a new approach when they talk about 'modelling appropriate behaviour patterns'. Yes . . !)

To be fair, many parents I talk to are unaware of the potential they have to influence their kids. It comes as a surprise to many to learn that THEY are the most influential teachers their kids will ever have.

Our children are like sponges. They soak up our attitudes, our habits, our speech patterns - our way of seeing the world.

So if YOU show respect for yourself, for others, for property and for the earth, you won't go wrong.

But you can enhance or reinforce this process by instructing your kids.

Without lecturing or 'sermonising' we can give guidelines for everyday activities. For example:

* leave the bathroom as you'd like to find it
* use resources like water carefully
* consider others by playing music softly or by using headphones
* give a helping hand in the classroom, in the playground, at home
* treat others with kindness, gentleness, care and sympathy
* look after yourself in the same way.

When bad or undesirable behaviour is modelled on TV or elsewhere, comment on it and discuss why we wouldn't do that.

In a multi-cultural and multi-ethnic society, let's help our kids to tolerate, appreciate and even celebrate differences. Help them realise we all have different customs and habits, and there are pros as well as cons in these differences.

Help your child to be assertive. There's no need to be aggressive or offensive when defending our values. We should assert them proudly and courageously, and we should avoid a passive denial when others are mocking.

Lastly there's self-control. If you give a good example - sorry, if you 'model appropriate behaviour'! - AND teach your kids why it is important, then you and your family can face the future with confidence.

Happy parenting!

Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail? Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. If you want to develop your parenting skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.ht ml AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/for-parents.html

In The News:

---

Teach Your Children - Without Them Knowing They Are Learning!

The great thing about children is they absorb knowledge like... Read More

Back to School - Disappontment?

Our back-to-school buying habits do not help kids succeed in... Read More

Missing The Bus

As a step daughter and step grand daughter, I followed... Read More

How To Teach Your Children Social Skills

As our children grow, they will be going to schools... Read More

Eating Disorders in Children

If I had a dollar for every time I persuaded... Read More

?Gimme? Proof Your Kids: How To Keep Your Child?s Materialism In Check

It's the first day of the summer holiday. Five year-old... Read More

Top Ten Things My Six Year-Old Son Has Taught Me (So Far...)

I've learned numerous, important lessons on life, motherhood and men... Read More

Graduated Driver Licensing (GDL) for Teen Drivers

Drivers 16 years of age have little driving experience, putting... Read More

How Illiteracy Can Ruin Your Childs Life

It may seem obvious to many people why literacy is... Read More

Home For The Holidays: Ask Yourself Some Questions

Annie easily slipped into becoming the sole caregiver of her... Read More

How Do You Find the Best Car Seat to Protect Your Child

Choosing a good car seat for your child's protection is... Read More

Bless Your Child With The Name

What a dreamer I am when thinking about parenthood. Most... Read More

The Importance of Mothers

Moms, did you ever question your value as a role... Read More

Going Out to a Restaurant with Kids

Dining in a restaurant with kids can be very enervating... Read More

Dad, Go Ahead and Cry

She slipped her small, soft eight-year-old hand into mine. Her... Read More

Revering the Crayon Marks

"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine,... Read More

Is it ADHD or Bi-Polar Disorder?

Bi-Polar Disorder, or Manic Depression, is characterized by mood swings,... Read More

The Parent Teen Relationship: How Effective is Yours?

It was the homework that did it. Each night became... Read More

Reading Activities Parents Can Use For Their Children

Using 14 "at" Flashcards To Teach Reading:This exercise helps your... Read More

Kids Party Etiquette for Parents

Ever feel like you're out of the loop when it... Read More

Is Your Child Ready For an Allowance?

Children think money grows on trees. Maybe not literally, but... Read More

For School Success, Dont Coddle Your Kids

Parents want their children to succeed in school. However, sometimes... Read More

What Do You Teach Your Children About Money?

Whether we realize it or not we teach our children... Read More

Effective Troubled Teen Programs

Not all parents subscribe to the notion of "tough love,"... Read More

Children and Mom and Paper

Memorabilia ? Children can create enough artwork for an entire... Read More

EEG Biofeedback Training as a Treatment Option for ADHD

The popularity of EEG Biofeedback Training continues to grow both... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: But everyone else gets to do it!

Q. We are getting to the stage with our kids... Read More

Childrens Friendships Made Easy

Most research into children's friendships shows that those children who... Read More

How Effective is Attend in Helping Children with Attention Disorders?

In 1996-97 we were contracted by VAXA International of Tampa,... Read More

The 5 Babysitter Commandments

Having a babysitter take care of your kids is sometimes... Read More

Parenting Skills - Five Ways To Turbo-Boost Your Confidence

The 'phone conversation had nothing at all to do with... Read More

Whos Your Daddy? How to be a Great Dad in 5 to 7 Minutes

I am a dad. I have been now for over... Read More

Lets Read! The Benefits of Reading to Your Children

Parents, when you help your children learn to read, you... Read More