Parenting Your Teenager: 6 Tips for Dealing with Bad Report Cards

One of the basic issues we need to understand is that parents and teens view school very differently. This is important because often we believe that our kids look at school the same way we do.

In many cases, nothing could be further from the truth.

For parents, we work and want to do well in our jobs. So we think because our kids don't work full time or at all, then school is their full-time job, and they should want to excel.

For teens, as well as many younger kids, school is their social world interrupted by six to seven classes a day.

This different view is the cause for many dinner-table squabbles.

Every now and then, as parents describe the problems with grades, they will say, "We got a D in that class."

I've thought of many responses to that statement, most of which I don't share. What I do say is, "Excuse me, who is this we? Do you go to class or does your child?"

The point is that at some time - the earlier the better - school must become more important to your child than it is to you.

Having laid out these two basic principles, let's look at some solutions for handling a less than exciting report card.

1) You'll want to meet with the teacher of a class in which your child has done poorly. You should ask the teacher: What he thinks might be in the way of your child doing well in this subject; does she think your child has the tools to do well in this class; how are other kids of equal ability doing in this class; what does he recommend your child (notice, not we) do to improve in this class?

2) Learn how to read a report card. There is much more information there than just grades. There's also conduct and attendance to check out. Look for patterns. If your kid got a good grade and great conduct in one class and poor grades and bad conduct in another, take a look at what the differences are between those two classes. Obviously, the child has the ability in one class. What's in the way in the other?

3) Often kids will blame the teacher. "She doesn't like me!" This is an opportunity to teach real-world living in which not all people, bosses included, are going to like you. At the same time, you still need to know how to do well in a situation, even when there are people who don't like you.

4) Here's a little trick of the trade: Determine which class comes right before your child's lunch period. If grades, attendance and conduct are significantly different after lunch than before, the next question is what's happening at lunch that is getting in the way?

5) Make two copies of your child's report card _ one for you and one for your child. Draw a horizontal line to the right of each letter grade. Next to the end of that line, write the next letter grade up. For example, if the grade is an F, write a D. If it's a D, write a C, and so on. These one-step-up grades are the goals for the next grading period.

This may sound like settling for less, but it really is not. It gives your child a manageable goal to reach. Over a couple of grading periods, this strategy can move low grades to high grades. If they go higher than the goal, then that's a good thing. If they go lower than the goal, it's time for some consequences.

6) It's been my experience that grounding a kid for the entire grading period is in most cases counterproductive. For adults, nine weeks is not that long. For kids, however, it's forever, and you get rapidly diminishing returns.

Instead, start with strong consequences, and then as effort, behavior and grades improve, let the rope out a little at a time, just enough for them to grow themselves.

It's also useful to link grades to something that is important to them. As one father said to me last year, "In our family, Ds don't drive."

For more leading edge tips and tools for back to school success, you are invited to visit parenting coach Jeff Herring's BacktoSchoolSuccess.com

---

Summer Survival

Summer Survival The... Read More

Why Fathers Are Such a Necessary Component in the Raising of Their Children.

The first year of a child's life is the most... Read More

When Parents Disagree

Moms and dads, are there times you think that parenting... Read More

Over-Focused ADHD

The least flexible character in all of the stories of... Read More

Consistent Boundaries Makes Discipline Easier

Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many... Read More

How To Entertain A Child While Working From A Home Office

There is no doubt that the benefits of being a... Read More

Family Meetings Are Now On The Agenda

"Not another meeting!"That tends to be the reaction from many... Read More

Will My Doubts and Fears Affect My Child?

"Will my doubts and fears affect my child?" This father... Read More

Selecting and Hiring Childcare Employees

In today's fast-paced society, many families depend on some form... Read More

Parents - Create An Emotionally Healthy Connection With Your Child

"I could have helped you if I would have known,... Read More

Aquini Potty Training Dolls - A Great Tool For Potty Training!

Corolle Paul or Emma Drink-and-Wet SET potty dollsThis is the... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Truth or Lie?

Attention all parents of teen-agers. Here is an important, groundbreaking... Read More

Parenting Styles - Overcoming Your Differences

If you spend any time in the parenting section of... Read More

Top Five Ways To Stay In Touch With Your Child

Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may... Read More

Back to School Success Tips

Q. With the school year just beginning, what can we... Read More

The Forgotten Secret of the Ancient Greeks that Shows Us How to Keep Our Teenagers Out of Trouble

To every thing there is a season, and a time... Read More

Theres Never a Bad Time To Start Helping To Spread The Word of God

Q. What's the right age to start giving a Bible... Read More

What Should I Know About Strattera for ADHD?

Strattera came out around January of 2003, and is becoming... Read More

Discipline

Discipline is a necessary part of parenting yet it makes... Read More

A Chart for Everything

For every season, check, check, check, There is a chart,... Read More

Babys First Month at a Glance

Congratulations on your new baby! You have just brought your... Read More

Promote Physical Fitness for Your Child

If your child is to derive the benefits of physical... Read More

Five Ways To Build Super-Strong Relationships With Your Children

One of the questions I ask in parenting presentations is... Read More

End Babysitter Abuse

Not many things are more upsetting than discovering that your... Read More

What is Child Sexual Abuse?

What is child sexual abuse? Any sexual activity that is... Read More

Graduated Driver Licensing (GDL) for Teen Drivers

Drivers 16 years of age have little driving experience, putting... Read More

Kids Party Etiquette for Parents

Ever feel like you're out of the loop when it... Read More

How Much Water are You Wasting?

Are you being smart about water conservation? Do you consider... Read More

How to Prepare for Labor

Although nothing anybody says can ever completely prepare a woman... Read More

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: What Do We Mean by Attention Anyway?

When we talk about attention, we are talking about two... Read More

A Dads Thoughts On Dads day

21 Reasons I Love Being A DadWhat you will read... Read More

The Real Dangers to Kids Online and How to Avoid Them: Top 5 Internet Safety Tips

The Real Dangers to Kids Online and How to Avoid... Read More

Organizing a Car Wash Fundraiser

The key to a successful car wash fundraiser event is... Read More