One of the most powerful tools that parents have for raising their children is the natural emotional bond that exists between them and their child. Children who feel close to their parents will have a strong desire to obey them. No child with this type of connection to his parents will want to risk hurting that connection by disobeying them. When such a relationship exists, the mere look of dissatisfaction on the face of a parent will usually be enough to curb inappropriate behavior. This bond is so strong and so potent that it lasts even through adolescence when most of the disciplinary tools at our disposal are ineffective. Often, it is the only tool we have in guiding our teenage children. Parents who do not have such a connection with their children have lost a vital resource necessary for successful parenting.
In addition, this bond is essential for the child's emotional stability. A recent psychology experiment studied people in their forties, whose parent were emotionally distant from them. These people were often depressed and lacked a sense of emotional well being. They had more difficulty in adjusting to the work environment and new social situations.
How do you develop this type of loving bond with your child? It begins in your child's infancy and is built by giving your child the love and affection that he needs.
Many well-meaning mothers are completely unaware that their own children are suffering from the lack of physical touch. There are many reasons for this. Most people associate deprived children as those who are neglected, abused, or chronically ill. However, the truth is that many of our children who come from good homes are not getting the physical warmth and love that they need. In our two-income society, unaffectionate caretakers, who provide for the child's physical needs with as little warmth and contact as possible, often raise children. Also, many of us did not receive enough physical love and warmth as children. As a result, it is not natural to us to cuddle, coo, kiss, and love our children affectionately. In addition, some children naturally need more physical warmth. These touch-deprived children fill our schools. They are the ones who often look sad and depressed, suffering from not getting their physical needs for contact.
The United States is one of the richest countries in the history of the world. Yet, our children in general are touch starved. We are busy with our lives and our careers. We often raise our children in broken homes. We as parents are suffering under the burden of so much physical and emotional stress, that we are often just glad to make it through the day without hitting or screaming at our children. Who has time to give them affection? Yet, this is what our children crave most from us. We fill our houses with toys and things for our children, but it is us that they really need.
There is much talk about the generation gap. We all know that adolescents naturally rebel. Sometimes we look at our little children and wonder what is going to be in ten years when this cute little four-year-old turns fourteen. Will he be one of the children who abuses drugs? Is he going to steal? Is he going to do worse? What is going to be?
You need to take the time now, and give your child the physical warmth and love that your child needs. If you build strong bonds of love with your child now, while he is still young, then all these problems that you read about, will be just that; things that you read about. You will not experience these problems in your own home, because you have developed a strong relationship with you child.
About The Author
Anthony Kane, MD is a physician, an international lecturer, and director of special education. He is the author of a book, numerous articles, and a number of online programs dealing with ADHD (addadhdadvances.com/childyoulove.html) treatment, ODD, parenting issues (addadhdadvances.com/betterbehavior.html), and education.
You may visit his website at http://addadhdadvances.com. To sign up for the free ADD ADHD Advances online journal send a blank email to: subscribe@addadhdadvances.com?s ubject=subscribeartcity
Are you a professional?Notice how the questions differs from, "Do... Read More
So your little Susie wants to join a competitive gymnastic... Read More
How would you like to have more time? Of course... Read More
'Whose room is it anyway?'If you have a teenager, you're... Read More
Many children are jittery on the first day of school.... Read More
A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More
What's new and effective in the treatment of Attention problems?... Read More
Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent more than the... Read More
Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives... Read More
A tall, weary-looking mother with glasses, walked into my counseling... Read More
Karen, a single never-married thirty-year old attorney has a four-year... Read More
Our back-to-school buying habits do not help kids succeed in... Read More
Moving house can be an emotional experience for adults, so... Read More
Have you ever wondered why toys for babies tend to... Read More
Having a babysitter take care of your kids is sometimes... Read More
With the beginning of the new school year coming VERY... Read More
Software for parental control is a useful tool, if applied... Read More
It was at that time when our marriage was falling... Read More
When my son was 18 (and had finished school), he... Read More
Jason Meridith's two-year old son whines when he wants more... Read More
What one word best sums up summer fun? Water. I... Read More
Do you really want your child to enjoy playing with... Read More
Everyone in a private practice setting who works with children... Read More
The great thing about children is they absorb knowledge like... Read More
Hints from Ruowen Wang? Keep a small basket filled with... Read More
Everyone loves penguins. And now, everyone has a chance to... Read More
1. Tell me something you like about yourself? Help your... Read More
Teens can freely access the Internet from computers at school,... Read More
You send your child to school and the teachers teach... Read More
What makes parenting so challenging at times? One widespread research... Read More
Mealtimes together deserve an important place in any family. Around... Read More
Advocate: you've probably heard the term before. But what does... Read More
In "The Ring Bear," a picture book by Tigard resident... Read More
Ask parents what their biggest school year challenge is, and... Read More
1. Tell me something you like about yourself? Help your... Read More
Working with adults (as well as children and teens) for... Read More
Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room... Read More
Home-schooling removes children from public school. That alone makes home-schooling... Read More
1. Encourage Questions.Don't answer every question, instead ask what do... Read More
What do you mean average? Not good? Just doing good... Read More
Home schooling. What is it? What does it mean to... Read More
Winnie the Pooh is the classic picture of Inattentive ADHD.... Read More
Do you remember how you first learned the alphabet? I... Read More
What is Happening in the brain of children, teens, and... Read More
Do you want to create a deeper, more loving relationship... Read More
Parental Alienation Syndrome was probably first identified and codified by... Read More
I don't know how people raise daughters because I have... Read More
Valentine day has always been a special day in my... Read More
Many families do not want to believe their child is... Read More
It was a hot summer day in august and The... Read More
Do your children have a McChildhood? Do they experience the... Read More
Imagine having no television for an entire season. Such was... Read More
I have always found the notion of toilet training a... Read More
Q. My daughter is a junior in high school and... Read More
Here we will come to know who are the most... Read More
LOS ANGELES (May 19, 2005) - With Memorial Day weekend,... Read More
Potty training fears, often called toilet terrors, are common among... Read More
For every season, check, check, check, There is a chart,... Read More
Would you like your child to be the best that... Read More
Child Safety Restraints and children in work vehiclesIf you take... Read More
As Mother's Day approaches I would like to give a... Read More
Words are truly powerful things. They are something that becomes... Read More
If you really want to get your children to eat... Read More
"In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't... Read More
Are you looking for the Ultimate Airplane Themed Party Games... Read More
This time, I would like to talk about a subject... Read More
Parenting |