Why Me?

Why Me?

"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should also make our blessings count." --Neil Maxwell

Yesterday morning, my family and I got up at 5:30am in Mexico to begin our journey home from a holiday retreat. Eight hours of packing, driving, flying, and standing in line later, we arrived at the airport in Los Angeles physically intact but emotionally a bit worse for wear.

It was at this point, standing in yet another line with a screaming toddler in my arms, that my six year old daughter Clara decided she absolutely had to have a look at her passport picture. This was a seemingly innocuous request, but in fact would have involved my unhooking several bags from my shoulders and letting loose the toddler who, screaming aside, had already demonstrated her intention to leave no 'Do Not Enter' sign undisturbed in her exploration of the world of airport immigration.

Now, it would have been the easiest thing in the world to have thought 'why me?' when Clara was nipping at my ankles and the people around me in line were silently nominating me for a 'person I'd most like to not sit next to on an airplane' award. (Actually, many of the people around me may have been asking themselves just that.)

But after responding to Clara's continual requests like a six year old adult, (I believe the words "I'm not going to do it and you can't make me!" may have passed my lips), I took a deep breath, recognized that my reaction was more a function of my emotional state than her behavior, and I apologized for being mean to her.

"Mean?" she asked, incredulously. "You weren't mean to me. You're my daddy. Daddies can't be mean."

It was at this point that the question 'why me?' popped into my head. Why me? Why do I get to be loved so unconditionally by someone who is all too frequently in the line of fire when I lose my cool? How is it possible that her love and trust are still firmly intact after six years of sporadically positive parenting?

As I thought about some possible answers to those questions, the following story came to mind:

One day, a human went to heaven, in the way that humans often do. On arrival, the human was greeted by a host of angels and given a tour of all of heaven's wonders. Over the course of the tour, the human noticed that there was one room the angels quickly glided past each time they approached.

"What's in that room?" the human asked.

The angels looked at each other as if they'd been dreading the question. Finally, one of them stepped forward and said kindly, "We're not allowed to keep you out, but please believe us - you don't want to go in there."

The human's mind raced at the thought of what might be contained in that room. What could be so horrible that the angels of heaven would want to hide it away? The human knew that one should probably take angels at their word, but found it very hard to resist temptation. "After all", the human thought. "I'm only human."

Slowly walking towards the room, the human was filled with dread and wonder at what horrors might be about to be revealed. But in fact, the room was filled with the most wonderful things imaginable - a beautiful home, nice cars, great wisdom, a happy family, loving friends, and riches beyond measure.

Eyes wide, the human turned back to the angels. "But why didn't you want me to come in here? This room is filled with the most amazing things I've ever seen!"

The angels looked at each other sadly, then back at the human.

"These are all the blessings God wanted you to have while you were on earth, but you never believed you were worthy."

There is a notion in Jewish mysticism that the nature of the universe is not one of reward and punishment but rather one of receiving or rejecting God's blessings. When we connect with our sense of value in the world and connection to others and to life, we become like God - we share naturally and receive continually. When we cut off from our awareness of being of value and a part of all things, we become distinctly human. We retreat into ourselves and experience a world of pain, loss and suffering.

Maybe when good things happen to me, it's not so much a reward for good behavior as it is a case of an abundant universe sharing freely with one of its citizens. Maybe the reason I have a daughter who loves me unconditionally is to make it easier for me to be a really great father to her. And if you find yourself to be happy, or beautiful, or successful, or talented, or wealthy, maybe it's so you will be able to share your happiness, beauty, talent, and wealth with the world.

Michael Neill is a licensed Master Trainer of NLP and has written over 450 articles on in the areas of business success, money, relationships, health, happiness, well-being, and spirituality. His weekly coaching column is reprinted in newspapers and magazines throughout the world, and can be found online at http://www.geniuscatalyst.com

---

Is Your Teen Swamped with Homework and Tests?

I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More

The Real Problem With Todays Teenagers (And Why Most Parents Just Dont Get It!)

An address given by Rev. David B. Smith... Read More

Parenting: Blending Familes - 9 Universal Laws

The law of -ing.The law of -ing refers to a... Read More

Im a Mom, Shes a Mom: Being an Adult with Your Parents

On one of her quarterly visits to see her grandson,... Read More

Childrens Safety in Public Places - 10 Useful Tips

My kids ask me all the time to take them... Read More

Promoting Your Childs Motor Development

Assuming there are no serious motor problems present, what can... Read More

Why Creativity and Self-Expression are Important to Little Kids

Can you draw a straight line? Most adults don't consider... Read More

Develop Your Childs Genius - Right Brain/Left Brain Coordination

No matter how old your children are, you have an... Read More

Twin and Multiple Births are on the Rise

Did you know that the number of twin births have... Read More

Effective Troubled Teen Programs

Not all parents subscribe to the notion of "tough love,"... Read More

Powerful Tips for Increasing Your Childs Self-Esteem

Here is a list of ways to convey the message... Read More

Is Your Child Becoming A Praise Junkie?

Do you praise your child when he fulfils a basic... Read More

A New School Year

Depending on where you live school will be starting this... Read More

Parenting Confidence - Who Needs It?

It used to strike me as odd - but really,... Read More

Going Out to a Restaurant with Kids

Dining in a restaurant with kids can be very enervating... Read More

Fuzzy Names, Sweet Names

As with everything, names go through cycles of change with... Read More

The Hardest Job I Ever Had

I used to have a really challenging job. It was... Read More

Bird Flu Pandemic

What are the easiest things citizens can do to prevent... Read More

Public Schools Can Waste 12 Years of Your Child?s Life

For over fifty years, public-school officials and politicians have tried... Read More

How To Use Positive Child Discipline

I am a single mother of a 17 year old... Read More

Home For The Holidays: Avoid Aging Parents Becoming A Burden

By not planning for the future we guarantee that we... Read More

The Mystery of Picky Eaters

If you were to ask 100 parents why they think... Read More

Parents/Teens and Money ? 5 Ideas for Keeping the Peace

Children and teenagers are relentlessly bombarded with merchandise that entices.... Read More

Goal Setting for Kids

Goal setting is essential for building a successful life. However,... Read More

Getting Through to Your Teenager

Have you ever watched your teenager make a mistake (that... Read More

EEG Biofeedback Training as a Treatment Option for ADHD

The popularity of EEG Biofeedback Training continues to grow both... Read More

Encouraging Your Child to Write

How in the world do you get your child to... Read More

What Are Your Children Really Watching?

Saturday mornings. Cold cereal and Scooby Doo. How many parents... Read More

When A Parent Is Deployed

When a parent is deployed with the military it can... Read More

10 Reasons Why You Need to Ditch the Super Mom Syndrome

For any of you Moms out there that are doing... Read More

Potty Dolls to Accelerate Potty Training Success

Sometime the most effective training tool in rapidly accelerating the... Read More

Moms - Get More Energy Now

Let's be honest! When it comes to parenting, men expect... Read More

How To Teach Children Loyalty and Dependability

Individualism is a common thing in today's modern society. Many... Read More