Role Models for Your Teen

By the time your children reach their teens, there is only a limited amount of time left to influence them and get them started in life in the right direction.

The teen years are a critical time for role models in your children's lives. Often you will find teens have a hard time talking to their parents. This isn't always the case, but even in the closest families, teens often feel more comfortable talking to another trusted adult about some of the things going on in their lives.

Of course you would prefer your teen would go to an adult when they need to talk something important out, instead of relying on their friends who may not have the insight an older, more experienced adult would have.

Obviously you have no real control over who your teen goes to for advice, but there are a number of ways you can steer your teen in the right direction.

The best chance your teen has for interacting with other adults is in extracurricular activities. There are all kinds of activities your teen can be involved with, here are some that come to mind: church youth group, scouts, sports, music, school clubs, community service, just to name a few. Personally I don't encourage parents to involve their teens in so many activities that it leads to burnout for both the parents and the teen, but carefully selected activities led by good and capable leaders will enrich your teen's life in a way few things can, and will increase the likelihood that your teen will establish a relationship with one of the group leaders.

One word of caution, however. Talk to your teen about their activities and get a feel for yourself the effectiveness of the group leader. Not to say that they have to excel in every way, but just make sure that they are a good role model, and not a negative influence in your teen's life. There is the potential of bad leaders in any activity, including in a church setting, and it is the parents' responsibility to make sure their teen is in a positive atmosphere, influenced by mature leaders.

Involvement in group activities is especially great for teens of single parents. Teens who don't have regular contact with mature adults of both sexes often have a hard time later in normal adult relationships. Being exposed to "normal" at this age very much increases the teen's chances of growing into a well-adjusted adult. I have seen this often with boys who are raised by their moms with not much influence or negative influence from their dads.

Placed into group settings, with responsible adult male leaders, these teen boys have much less difficulty transitioning into adulthood. It also takes of a lot of the pressure off the often overworked mothers.

From my own experience, I have found that often other adults can help my teen in ways that I can't, mostly due to big differences in our personalities. I am more of a quiet introspective thinker, and my daughter is very outgoing, and has a lot of potential leadership qualities that are hard for me to help her develop because I do not possess those qualities myself. Knowing how important it is to help her develop her natural abilities at this impressionable age, I make sure there are other adults in her life who can help influence her in ways I can't. My daughter and I are very close, but there are just a lot of things that I can't help her with, so I encourage her in developing relationships with adults who do have those abilities.

My daughter and I both respect our different abilities. It is very easy to be critical of people who are not like us, and parents and teens very easily fall into this trap. The best thing to do is be honest about your own abilities, and of the abilities of your teen, and do whatever is necessary to find outside influences for your teen. The more you can help your teen develop their abilities now, the less they will have to do on their own later (often, the hard way).

And don't forget, you are a role model too. Get involved in the lives of your teen's friends, or volunteer to help in a group activity in some way, even if only occasionally. There are teens out there who really need to hear what you have to say.

About The Author

Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom of four. For more inspirational articles and tips for everyday living, visit her web sites at http://www.creativehomemaking.com and http://www.christian-parent.com

---

Responsible Fatherhood - A Unique And Irreplaceable Role!

Something happened the other day that made me feel uneasy.... Read More

Adoption: Laughter and Tears

If you ever walk through an orphanage, it will be... Read More

How Illiteracy Can Ruin Your Childs Life

It may seem obvious to many people why literacy is... Read More

Exposing the Damage: TV and Kids

There are millions of young children in this country who... Read More

The POWER of Your Words

Words are truly powerful things. They are something that becomes... Read More

Is Your Child Becoming A Praise Junkie?

Do you praise your child when he fulfils a basic... Read More

How To Teach Your Children Courage

Courage means doing the right thing when it is hard,... Read More

Top Ten Common Sense Rules for Fathers

There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques... Read More

Sibling Fighting - Reduce Sibling Rivalry by NOT Keeping Score

Recently, a much-anticipated game of mini-golf with my children soon... Read More

Mothers Day Tribute

As Mother's Day approaches I would like to give a... Read More

Avoid Weight Problems In Children

Although, not a well publicized statistic, childhood obesity has more... Read More

Childhood Obesity

Economist John Kenneth Galbraith has said that more people die... Read More

If at First They Dont Succeed - What a Great Opportunity!

When kids try new things, sometimes it's a 'fit' and... Read More

Your Big Yellow Bus

The big yellow school bus is coming down my road... Read More

The Science of Mother Love

A growing body of scientific evidence shows that the way... Read More

How Fathers Can Step Up to Fathering

When our oldest son was 2, my wife went out... Read More

Communications for Family Emergencies

You know that children can get into trouble. The older... Read More

My Husband Prioritizes Making Money Above Family Time

"Money is tight, and my husband's obsessed with doing everything... Read More

Develop Your Childs Genius - Developing Leadership Qualities

Often I have heard that leaders are born, not made.... Read More

Sibling Rivalry: The Magic Trick That Stops It Instantly

It's a familiar scene: Kids screaming at each other, complaining... Read More

Graduated Driver Licensing (GDL) for Teen Drivers

Drivers 16 years of age have little driving experience, putting... Read More

Patterns For Plus Size Children

Plus size children and overweight children need patterns and clothing... Read More

Girls Gone Mild

Voices!So many voices crying out for adherence and so many... Read More

Lets Protect Our Children

There are software programs that you can purchase to keep... Read More

3 Rules to Making TeensTechnology Work For You

Isn't the technology of today is amazing?! Between the speed... Read More

A Man and His Baby

When a couple steps forth with a baby in tow... Read More

Raising Kids on a Budget

There are only two ways to get more money:1) Increase... Read More

Dealing with Lying: The Dos and Donts

Jason Roberts listened to his son's explanation of the missing... Read More

Natural Disasters: Help Your Child Cope With The Anxiety

How on earth can you help your family cope with... Read More

Reincarnation: Sacred Children Series - 1 of 3

Many years ago, my children were raised on the various... Read More

Whine Oh Whine Am I The Only One?

I thought I was the only one in the world... Read More

Ten Tips for a Great First Day of School!

Many children are jittery on the first day of school.... Read More

Three Sure-Fire Ways to Teach Your Child About Safety

Levels of SafetyBy teaching our children there are different levels... Read More