Role Models for Your Teen

By the time your children reach their teens, there is only a limited amount of time left to influence them and get them started in life in the right direction.

The teen years are a critical time for role models in your children's lives. Often you will find teens have a hard time talking to their parents. This isn't always the case, but even in the closest families, teens often feel more comfortable talking to another trusted adult about some of the things going on in their lives.

Of course you would prefer your teen would go to an adult when they need to talk something important out, instead of relying on their friends who may not have the insight an older, more experienced adult would have.

Obviously you have no real control over who your teen goes to for advice, but there are a number of ways you can steer your teen in the right direction.

The best chance your teen has for interacting with other adults is in extracurricular activities. There are all kinds of activities your teen can be involved with, here are some that come to mind: church youth group, scouts, sports, music, school clubs, community service, just to name a few. Personally I don't encourage parents to involve their teens in so many activities that it leads to burnout for both the parents and the teen, but carefully selected activities led by good and capable leaders will enrich your teen's life in a way few things can, and will increase the likelihood that your teen will establish a relationship with one of the group leaders.

One word of caution, however. Talk to your teen about their activities and get a feel for yourself the effectiveness of the group leader. Not to say that they have to excel in every way, but just make sure that they are a good role model, and not a negative influence in your teen's life. There is the potential of bad leaders in any activity, including in a church setting, and it is the parents' responsibility to make sure their teen is in a positive atmosphere, influenced by mature leaders.

Involvement in group activities is especially great for teens of single parents. Teens who don't have regular contact with mature adults of both sexes often have a hard time later in normal adult relationships. Being exposed to "normal" at this age very much increases the teen's chances of growing into a well-adjusted adult. I have seen this often with boys who are raised by their moms with not much influence or negative influence from their dads.

Placed into group settings, with responsible adult male leaders, these teen boys have much less difficulty transitioning into adulthood. It also takes of a lot of the pressure off the often overworked mothers.

From my own experience, I have found that often other adults can help my teen in ways that I can't, mostly due to big differences in our personalities. I am more of a quiet introspective thinker, and my daughter is very outgoing, and has a lot of potential leadership qualities that are hard for me to help her develop because I do not possess those qualities myself. Knowing how important it is to help her develop her natural abilities at this impressionable age, I make sure there are other adults in her life who can help influence her in ways I can't. My daughter and I are very close, but there are just a lot of things that I can't help her with, so I encourage her in developing relationships with adults who do have those abilities.

My daughter and I both respect our different abilities. It is very easy to be critical of people who are not like us, and parents and teens very easily fall into this trap. The best thing to do is be honest about your own abilities, and of the abilities of your teen, and do whatever is necessary to find outside influences for your teen. The more you can help your teen develop their abilities now, the less they will have to do on their own later (often, the hard way).

And don't forget, you are a role model too. Get involved in the lives of your teen's friends, or volunteer to help in a group activity in some way, even if only occasionally. There are teens out there who really need to hear what you have to say.

About The Author

Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom of four. For more inspirational articles and tips for everyday living, visit her web sites at http://www.creativehomemaking.com and http://www.christian-parent.com

---

Help! My Kids Dont Listen to Me

Does this sound familiar? Have your kids not listened to... Read More

Teaching Children Good Manners

Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that... Read More

Wholism and Materialism

Perhaps I could make a lot of money by founding... Read More

Guilty of Not Following Her Heart

Karen, a single never-married thirty-year old attorney has a four-year... Read More

Watering Your Young Child?s Mind

Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow? With... Read More

Sometimes Our Childrens Questions Answer Our Own

I was changing Ford's diaper the other day when he... Read More

Your Checking Account

Checking accounts are an absolute necessity these days. You can... Read More

Adoption: Laughter and Tears

If you ever walk through an orphanage, it will be... Read More

If your child is being bullied - 20 top tips for parents

Keith is now in the fourth grade and he dislikes... Read More

The Scientific Breakthrough That Allows Every Couple To Choose The Gender Of Their Baby

The advances in science over the past century have been... Read More

How Effective Is EEG Neurofeedback Training in Treating the Symptoms of ADHD?

Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More

Poker Parenting: 4 Ways Poker Skills Produce Parenting Thrills

Even as a busy parent, I'm sure you've seen a... Read More

What Julia Roberts has to Say about Motherhood

Julia Roberts recently gave birth to twins: Hazel and Phinnaeus.... Read More

My Best Buddy

My son, Dakota is now 7 yrs old. He is... Read More

Friendships - Helping Children Develop Friendship Skills

Reasearch into children's friendships shows that those children who are... Read More

Moms - Get More Energy Now

Let's be honest! When it comes to parenting, men expect... Read More

A Place For Everything: Its Childs Play

What parent hasn't gone into a son's or daughter's room... Read More

Toxic Chemicals, Are Your Children Being Exposed?

You do what you can to keep your little ones... Read More

The Financially Intelligent Parent: 8 Steps to Raising Successful, Generous, Responsible Children

What you say and do about money has a profound... Read More

Effective Troubled Teen Programs

Not all parents subscribe to the notion of "tough love,"... Read More

How to Parent Your Teen Effectively

Maintain CommunicationEven though teens need to separate from their parents... Read More

Working Moms vs. Stay-at-Home Moms, Lets Stop Debating Each Other and Debate the System Instead!

I could nearly fund my children's future education if I... Read More

STOP Parental Alienation Syndrome before It Gets a Chance to START

Parental Alienation Syndrome was probably first identified and codified by... Read More

How Two Quarelling Kids Helped Invent the Better Behavior Wheel

When David was nine and Laura was twelve, the battles... Read More

Child Discipline - Be Consistent With Your Child

The biggest complaint you hear from parents about their children... Read More

Childrens Discipline: How To Resolve Divorce Parenting Differences?

Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives... Read More

Single Parents: Give Yourselves Credit

Single parents are not often thought of as good parents.I... Read More

Over-Focused ADHD

The least flexible character in all of the stories of... Read More

New Mom...New Baby...New Debt?

Ah, there is nothing like being an expectant mom. Along... Read More

14 Romantic Time-Outs for Parents

Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to help you... Read More

Dealing with Lying: The Dos and Donts

Jason Roberts listened to his son's explanation of the missing... Read More

A Dads Thoughts On Dads day

21 Reasons I Love Being A DadWhat you will read... Read More

Games Of The Past Meet The Present

Recently, our family had the opportunity to care for sisters'... Read More