Childrens Discipline: How To Resolve Divorce Parenting Differences?

Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives double messages, produces anxiety and can be very confusing to your children? Children need to know where they stand in their behaviors. It is therefore critical for parents to resolve their differences in matters of children's discipline.

Since divorce parents leave on a separate house, they often differ in their rules and expectations for their children. People tend to view individual differences in terms of right and wrong. The adage holds: "If you are not with me, you are against me." In marriage, people call it incompatibility. In divorce, these differences sometimes resulted to expensive litigation, each trying to force the other to change and stop being different.

The matter of disciplining children can be the source of conflict among divorce parents. Each parent has different ideas as to what the appropriate discipline should be. Each viewed the other's proposal of disciplining as wrong. The consequences of their dispute were that there was ineffective or no discipline at all.

To turn differences into a unified discipline, parents should resolve the differences according to children's best interest. They can adopt the approach as listed below:

1. Make an agreement with your former spouse on what is realistically expected for your children. These should be based on the children's age, their temperament, their ability to follow directions, and the divorce structure of the family.

2. Come to some meeting of the minds on what values are highest priorities for each and on which behaviors you both agree are important to nurture in your children.

3. Discuss with your former spouse your preferences for discipline to see if there is an opportunity for consistency across households.

4. In areas where there is an opportunity for consistency across households, make an agreement with your former spouse that whatever approaches are agreed upon, both of you will be consistently using the same when the children are with you.

5. Write the agreements down, review them and be sure they are workable.

6. In areas in which you differ, find a compromise that you both can live with and stick by it.

7. Set clear expectations for the children at each home. Explain to the children that there are certain rules at mom's house and certain rules at dad's house.

8. Never argue in the front of the children about disagreements in discipline approaches.

Help your children know where they stand in their behaviors. Get resolve your differences in matters of children's discipline. Support each other.

Copyright by Ruben Francia. All Rights Reserved.

Publishing Rights: You have permission to publish this article electronically, in print, in your ebook or on your website, free of charge, as long as the author's information and web link are included at the bottom of the article. The web link should be active when the article is reprinted on a web site or in an email. Minor edits and alterations are acceptable so long as they do not distort or change the content of the article.

About The Author

Ruben Francia is an author of an indispensable divorce parenting guide ebook, entitled "101 Ways To Raise Your 'Divorced' Children To Success". Discover the ways to raising healthy, happy and successful children even if you're on divorced. Visit his web site at http://www.101divorceparenting.com; support@101divorceparenting.com

---

A Chart for Everything

For every season, check, check, check, There is a chart,... Read More

Diet Sodas And How They Can Affect Kids

Many of us have grown up drinking caffeinated diet sodas... Read More

Inattentive ADHD: Just Like Winnie the Pooh

Winnie the Pooh is the classic picture of Inattentive ADHD.... Read More

Tips for Parents of Teenagers: Dont Just Survive - Thrive!

What makes parenting so challenging at times? One widespread research... Read More

10 Secrets To Know You?re A Good Working Parent To Your Kids!

How are parents to know they are doing the right... Read More

Misplaced Passion

"Before every action, ask yourself: Will this bring more monkeys... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: 4 Traps to Avoid

4 traps to avoidTrap 1 - Parents need to realize... Read More

When Parents Disagree

Moms and dads, are there times you think that parenting... Read More

Meningitis and Septicaemia

Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain... Read More

Super Nanny - A Users Guide to Watching Super Nanny

There are many things to like about the television show... Read More

My Dads Secrets

From the book Spider's Night on the BoomI've only begun... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: What to Do When Your Teen Feels Left Out

On a recent Saturday evening, I noticed a young teen-age... Read More

Guilty of Not Following Her Heart

Karen, a single never-married thirty-year old attorney has a four-year... Read More

Partnering With Your Daycare or Preschool

For the most positive daycare experience for your child, partner... Read More

Lead with Love:How Mothers Can Use Their Greatest Strength to Manage Around Their Technical Weakness

My wife and I have been working on a video... Read More

Achieve Success At School - Parents, Help Your Kids Easily Be Top, Honor-Roll Students!

With the beginning of the new school year coming VERY... Read More

Im a Mom, Shes a Mom: Being an Adult with Your Parents

On one of her quarterly visits to see her grandson,... Read More

Parents Rights Violated By Public School Compulsory Attendence Laws

Compulsory attendance laws are school authorities' first assault on parental... Read More

The Old and the New

During one "generation gap" quarrel with his parents young Michael... Read More

How to Assist Troubled Teens

What parents of a teen haven't wondered where their sweet... Read More

A Dangerous Environment

The internet is a dangerous place for your children. Don't... Read More

Mommy, I Can?t Sleep! Sleep Disturbance in Children

"Just turn the lights off and go to sleep"Do you... Read More

Sibling Fighting - Reduce Sibling Rivalry by NOT Keeping Score

Recently, a much-anticipated game of mini-golf with my children soon... Read More

Promoting Your Childs Motor Development

Assuming there are no serious motor problems present, what can... Read More

Just What Is A Learning Disability?

A learning disability is defined as a permanent problem that... Read More

Childhood Obesity

Economist John Kenneth Galbraith has said that more people die... Read More

Consistent Boundaries Makes Discipline Easier

Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many... Read More

Paediatric Osteopathy

All babies cry, but if yours cries a lot, isn't... Read More

Childs Play: Treating The Insanity of the Mental Health System

In today's mental health system there is a pattern of... Read More

Helping Your Child Cope With A Long-Term Illness

All children will likely have many different health problems during... Read More

Visiting the Library

Libraries offer more than books. They are places of learning... Read More

Help My Preteen/Teenager is Driving Me Nuts!

Do you feel like someone has abducted your sweet, innocent... Read More

Protect your Kids Early with Safety Glasses

What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There... Read More