Childrens Discipline: How To Resolve Divorce Parenting Differences?

Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives double messages, produces anxiety and can be very confusing to your children? Children need to know where they stand in their behaviors. It is therefore critical for parents to resolve their differences in matters of children's discipline.

Since divorce parents leave on a separate house, they often differ in their rules and expectations for their children. People tend to view individual differences in terms of right and wrong. The adage holds: "If you are not with me, you are against me." In marriage, people call it incompatibility. In divorce, these differences sometimes resulted to expensive litigation, each trying to force the other to change and stop being different.

The matter of disciplining children can be the source of conflict among divorce parents. Each parent has different ideas as to what the appropriate discipline should be. Each viewed the other's proposal of disciplining as wrong. The consequences of their dispute were that there was ineffective or no discipline at all.

To turn differences into a unified discipline, parents should resolve the differences according to children's best interest. They can adopt the approach as listed below:

1. Make an agreement with your former spouse on what is realistically expected for your children. These should be based on the children's age, their temperament, their ability to follow directions, and the divorce structure of the family.

2. Come to some meeting of the minds on what values are highest priorities for each and on which behaviors you both agree are important to nurture in your children.

3. Discuss with your former spouse your preferences for discipline to see if there is an opportunity for consistency across households.

4. In areas where there is an opportunity for consistency across households, make an agreement with your former spouse that whatever approaches are agreed upon, both of you will be consistently using the same when the children are with you.

5. Write the agreements down, review them and be sure they are workable.

6. In areas in which you differ, find a compromise that you both can live with and stick by it.

7. Set clear expectations for the children at each home. Explain to the children that there are certain rules at mom's house and certain rules at dad's house.

8. Never argue in the front of the children about disagreements in discipline approaches.

Help your children know where they stand in their behaviors. Get resolve your differences in matters of children's discipline. Support each other.

Copyright by Ruben Francia. All Rights Reserved.

Publishing Rights: You have permission to publish this article electronically, in print, in your ebook or on your website, free of charge, as long as the author's information and web link are included at the bottom of the article. The web link should be active when the article is reprinted on a web site or in an email. Minor edits and alterations are acceptable so long as they do not distort or change the content of the article.

About The Author

Ruben Francia is an author of an indispensable divorce parenting guide ebook, entitled "101 Ways To Raise Your 'Divorced' Children To Success". Discover the ways to raising healthy, happy and successful children even if you're on divorced. Visit his web site at http://www.101divorceparenting.com; support@101divorceparenting.com

---

More than Mom and Dad

Love, love, love. It makes the world go round. It... Read More

Dads, Give them Household Chores

You have a chore to do around the house, and... Read More

Gifts From The Heart: Moms Remember...

To the untrained eye, it might look like a piece... Read More

Humans and Their Innate Need for Drug Stimulation

We know that ancient cultures and Indians and the like... Read More

Understanding Why Your Child Has Been Recommended for Testing

You have just received a call from your child's teacher... Read More

How To Teach Children Loyalty and Dependability

Individualism is a common thing in today's modern society. Many... Read More

How Much Water are You Wasting?

Are you being smart about water conservation? Do you consider... Read More

Teaching Children Good Manners

Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that... Read More

Road Trip with Kids

Boredom, limited space and overflowing energy are a source of... Read More

Simple Tricks To Help You And Your Kids To Find Friends

One of the most prevalent problems of the computer age... Read More

Why Wont My Child Do as I Say?

In speaking with parents a comment I frequently hear is... Read More

Really Good News About Your Children?s Video Games

Research published by University of Rochester neuroscientists C. Shawn Green... Read More

Refresher Course on Diapering for Dads

It's among the top criticism wives have of their husbands:... Read More

Sharing Books with Children

One of my first memories of childhood is that of... Read More

The Recipe For The Making Of A Self-Assured Child: One Part Communication, Two Parts Love

Each child carries a unique picture of the self, shaped... Read More

Safe From Strangers

There are few thoughts as terrifying as the abduction of... Read More

Awesome Dads Top Ten Ways To Be The Foundation of Your Family

Part of the responsibility of being a father is to... Read More

An Overview of Alternative Treatments for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Since so many would rather avoid the use of stimulant... Read More

Pay Attention! Its Your Most Important Job

Anyone can become a parent; there are no tests or... Read More

Got To, Get To ? Change The Way Your Family Thinks

I recently heard a story that has literally changed the... Read More

A Call For Fathers

Dads, please let me encourage you to change some things... Read More

The Disadvantages of Home Schooling

"Home Schooling ? Look Before You Leap"Are you considering home... Read More

How to Stop Bad Behavior Before it Starts

Coping with a child's bad behavior, perhaps more than any... Read More

A Dialogue with an ADHD Non-Believer

Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More

Homeschooling ? Is It Worth It?

Suppose that you rearrange your life to homeschool your child... Read More

Quality Time with Your Teen

It's sometimes difficult to find ways to be involved with... Read More

Hearing Our Seriously Distressed Adolescents

The distressed adolescent often has feelings of abandonment, emotional detachment,... Read More

Top 10 Mistakes by New and Expectant Dads

From criticizing a spouse, to claming up about one's own... Read More

Helping Your Children Develop Their Self-Discipline

We want our children to do the right thing, especially... Read More

Diana, Princess of Whales

Younger generations unfortunately will not understand how larger than life... Read More

Where to Look for Affordable Baby Clothes

Once the newness has worn off a little, you will... Read More

Whats Mine Is Mine

You are at the grocery store with your daughter and... Read More

The Secret, Unconscious Game Children and Parents Play Where No One Wins!

Did you know there's a game children and parents play... Read More