Childrens Discipline: How To Resolve Divorce Parenting Differences?

Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives double messages, produces anxiety and can be very confusing to your children? Children need to know where they stand in their behaviors. It is therefore critical for parents to resolve their differences in matters of children's discipline.

Since divorce parents leave on a separate house, they often differ in their rules and expectations for their children. People tend to view individual differences in terms of right and wrong. The adage holds: "If you are not with me, you are against me." In marriage, people call it incompatibility. In divorce, these differences sometimes resulted to expensive litigation, each trying to force the other to change and stop being different.

The matter of disciplining children can be the source of conflict among divorce parents. Each parent has different ideas as to what the appropriate discipline should be. Each viewed the other's proposal of disciplining as wrong. The consequences of their dispute were that there was ineffective or no discipline at all.

To turn differences into a unified discipline, parents should resolve the differences according to children's best interest. They can adopt the approach as listed below:

1. Make an agreement with your former spouse on what is realistically expected for your children. These should be based on the children's age, their temperament, their ability to follow directions, and the divorce structure of the family.

2. Come to some meeting of the minds on what values are highest priorities for each and on which behaviors you both agree are important to nurture in your children.

3. Discuss with your former spouse your preferences for discipline to see if there is an opportunity for consistency across households.

4. In areas where there is an opportunity for consistency across households, make an agreement with your former spouse that whatever approaches are agreed upon, both of you will be consistently using the same when the children are with you.

5. Write the agreements down, review them and be sure they are workable.

6. In areas in which you differ, find a compromise that you both can live with and stick by it.

7. Set clear expectations for the children at each home. Explain to the children that there are certain rules at mom's house and certain rules at dad's house.

8. Never argue in the front of the children about disagreements in discipline approaches.

Help your children know where they stand in their behaviors. Get resolve your differences in matters of children's discipline. Support each other.

Copyright by Ruben Francia. All Rights Reserved.

Publishing Rights: You have permission to publish this article electronically, in print, in your ebook or on your website, free of charge, as long as the author's information and web link are included at the bottom of the article. The web link should be active when the article is reprinted on a web site or in an email. Minor edits and alterations are acceptable so long as they do not distort or change the content of the article.

About The Author

Ruben Francia is an author of an indispensable divorce parenting guide ebook, entitled "101 Ways To Raise Your 'Divorced' Children To Success". Discover the ways to raising healthy, happy and successful children even if you're on divorced. Visit his web site at http://www.101divorceparenting.com; support@101divorceparenting.com

---

What Do You Teach Your Children About Money?

Whether we realize it or not we teach our children... Read More

Teenagers in America Today

"Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in... Read More

The Free Ride In Public Schools

To protect children's self-esteem or deflect complaints by parents, many... Read More

Shopping with Children

Is your weekly shopping trip with the kids an absolute... Read More

Lets Read! The Benefits of Reading to Your Children

Parents, when you help your children learn to read, you... Read More

Peer Pressure - Five Ways to Help Teenagers Beat Peer Influence

Young people generally want to fit in to their various... Read More

Visiting the Library

Libraries offer more than books. They are places of learning... Read More

Cyber Parenting 101

Many parental units are not "techies" and openly admit they... Read More

Playful Parenting - More than Just Fun and Games

Early childhood educators have called play "children's work". Many parents... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: When is it OK to Quit?

Q. My daughter is a junior in high school and... Read More

ADD / ADHD Children : Being Your Childs Best Friend

Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If... Read More

What Should I Know About Strattera for ADHD?

Strattera came out around January of 2003, and is becoming... Read More

Your Big Yellow Bus

The big yellow school bus is coming down my road... Read More

Backpacks and Bullies. Is Your Child Prepared?

As the flurry of Back to School activities subside, parents... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Are Sleep Overs with the Opposite Sex OK?

Q. Our 17-year-old son wants us to let his girlfriend... Read More

Tips For a First-Time Dad

So you're going to become a father. Now is not... Read More

Whos Your Daddy? How to be a Great Dad in 5 to 7 Minutes

I am a dad. I have been now for over... Read More

Encouraging Your Child to Write

How in the world do you get your child to... Read More

How Illiteracy Can Ruin Your Childs Life

It may seem obvious to many people why literacy is... Read More

Top Five Ways To Stay In Touch With Your Child

Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may... Read More

Life Lessons Learned in My Underwear

For several years now, I've told the following story as... Read More

Building Teen Character: Part-Time Employment

The teenage years are a crucial time in a child's... Read More

Teach Your Child About Money

What are we teaching our children about money? Hopefully something!I... Read More

What is Prenatal Intelligence?

Prenatal intelligence, also known as fetal intelligence, has become a... Read More

Its a Sick World

It's no joy to be sick. It's even less joy... Read More

Potty Training Caveats- Dont Start Too Soon

The First Reason: For one thing, child development experts are... Read More

Imaginations Soar

Have you ever sat and watch a child struggle with... Read More

Top Seven Tips To Become A Good Stepmother

Becoming a stepmother can undoubtedly be one of the most... Read More

Stay at Home Mom You Need to Raise Cowboys

Now I know that is not how the song goes,... Read More

Free Stuff for Twins: Incentives for Parents of Multiple Births

A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More

Why Modern Moms Are Going Back to the Basics ? The Evolution of the Cloth Diaper

Having a baby is one of the most exciting times... Read More

My Sons Deployment

One of the most difficult struggles in life for a... Read More

Non-Compliance in Your Children, Some Tips for Parents

Non-compliance is the family therapist's big word for your child... Read More